Woke up - head hurts; face wet from crying. 
Washed my face; two paracetamol. Hot drink. 
Try to look human. Bike to town. 
Walk into lecture. Find a space; clutch head, shake head.
Vow to stop drinking. Cringe. Sit down. 
Go to the labs. Not work. Go back.
Turn on computer. Check my mail. 
Read mail. Reread. Clutch head. No luck.
Vow to start working. Coffee. Fail.
Knock on the door. A friend. Say hi.
Say I can't make it. Not tonight. 
Get called a boring sod. Goodbye.
Sit down, do work. Alone. Not cry.
Eat. Lie in bed and shut my eyes. Try sleeping.
Dream her face. Wake up. Give up.
Get up and work. Mind blank, head hurts - but work gets done. 
It dawns. Drink coffee. Go to town.
Sleep in the lecture hall. Get notes.
Go back, sit down in front of screen. Head blank.
Take paracetamol. Read notes. It's Tuesday.
Go to hall. Not stare. Come back. They leave. Not sleep. Not cry.
Find mindless things to do. Thoughts rare.
Morning. Train, London. Softwire, test. 
Run out of time. Not really care;
Bloke says it's fine - all do. Hope - dare.
Come back. Send mail. Sleep night. Wake up.
No lectures - end of term. Feel good. 
No headache. Supervision. Smile. Good mood.
Get back, read mail. No Softwire. Sigh.
Vow not to hope next time. Not cry.
Not sleep. Spend day in haze. Alone. Not sleep.
Coffee in town. No her. Hold smile.
Evening with friends. Laugh. Smile. Not drink.
No paracetamol. Not think. Walk out to New Hall. Wander back.
Not sleep - not want to dream her face. Not work.
See her this evening; rising mood. Have food. Do work.
Meet friends. Have food. Watch film. She's late. She comes. She leaves.
Vow not to think of her. Not cry. Vow not to think. Not live. Not die.
Try to think through why I'm depressed. Fail to see reason. Shrug. Tell lie.
Go back. Dump head. Stop thoughts. Blank mind. Start music. Read. Anything. Fine.