Subject: A poem for you (fwd)
--------- Forwarded Message ---------

> >> I want to be touched by affectionate eyes,
> >> I want to be welcomed when welcome is rare,
> >> I want to be held when my confidence sighs,
> >> I want to find comfort in genuine care.

/snip/

/pour/

/sip/

I try to read things into others' words
I like to pretend to be deep in despair
I want to be given what I don't deserve
I'd love to be in control of my head

The things I do have a covert cause
One not related to what they seem
I oughta be locked away because
Inside I'm horrid and ugly and mean

/sip/

I covet that which cannot be mine
And I'm never happy with that which I have
If love is a selfless emotion, then my
Feelings cannot be thought of as love

I act on whim to see the response
I instinctively load the words I speak
I deal on multiple levels because
Inside I'm stupid, powerless and weak

/sip/

Writing these words is part of the game
I live on the warmth in their response
However often I decide to change
My willpower weakens and I come back worse

"I'll not show this poem to anyone else
 This is just for myself alone
 So reader, please go read something else
 And pretend that you never set eyes on this poem"

/sip/

...so what is the point? Why have this text?
I tell myself it's for me alone
Even as I imagine your face
What it would look like on seeing this poem

I lie to myself most nights - it's routine
Decisions to change, tear my masks apart
So easy to make up lies and dreams
One problem: believing them nightly gets hard

/sip/

Wading through darkness from light to light,
But only darkness is left behind:
I drink the light as I drift through life,
Then shatter its source and wander on blind

/sip/

There are some lights that refuse to go dim
The walk towards them never ends
They are those who would see within
They are those who call themselves friends

They bob alongside, dance in the air
More pretty than any that let me get close
They whisper wise words into my ear
They'd let me come if only I chose

/sip/

Your world is a bubble of joy and love;
  mine - a wasteland of selfish want
Yours floats through mine, but I cannot move
  to join you in your floating haunt
That which supports you would not take my weight
  - my feet need to rest on solid ground
The thin bubble walls could not hold me restrained
  or hide from my sight the wasteland around

Why can't you see this my world outside 
  your bubble with its walls made of words in your head?
...maybe you've seen, and are trying to hide 
  - but the bubble would burst if I tried to hide there
Walls made of words fall to words shaped as spikes; 
  my spikes are disguised with a soft fluffy mask
I'm careful to hide what I'm really like 
  - and pray that you never think to ask.

/thunk/