Crystal Lyra Kaitlyne Josephine Dumbledore was what you could rightfully call undescribably stunning . No man (nor woman) could resist her perfect mane of shiny hair the color of spring that had a raven tint to it , her sapphire orbs the color of sapphires with silver flecks , and cute little nose . She also happened to be the heir of Slytherin , a much sought-after Curse-Breaker , a natural healer , a Triwizard champion , Head Girl at Beauxbatons and a Metamorphmagus , and she also knew how to do wandless magic , was well-known in Hollywood , shared the powers of the Basilisk and had telekinetic powers .
When she had been nine she was brutally kidnapped by Buffy the Vampire Slayer , so that henceforth she had to grow up with a mutant flesh-eating slug . Although she had been told of her worthlessness all the time , secretly , she met with her sensei who told her about a certain Prophecy . Then, at age thirteen she was finally rescued by her senile grandparents .
But she also had a terrible secret: she was really the secret love child of the goddess of Love and Peace and Severus Snape as well as the goddess of War in disguise . However, because she was on the run from the IRS , she teleported from an island in the middle of nowhere, because she was LOST , and stealthily entered Hogwarts by numerous fanfic self-inserts . Her last year of school ended when she was caught snogging Draco , your brother , and Voldemort all at the same time.
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