You are a Human: Normal, standard, etc.
Life: 3
Strength: 6
Will: 4

The doors start to open before jamming on something and several sirens going off. A rather sheepish looking Dark Lord of Ultimate Evil squeezes through the gap to address you...

'Umm, things are still rather under construction at the moment so please excuse the mess. If you want to have a look around though, please feel free.'