NokkyQuotes/2007

(Forward to /2008) (Back to /2006)

Fri 21st Dec:
Alex to Rob: You're free to sidle up to yourself and fondle yourself if you want...

Mon 17th Dec:
Alex: The security of that front end is a bit of a joke. Did I just say "front end"? Oh dear...
- Nat: It's called a "door", Alex...

Sun 16th Dec:
Church service: What is it that's got lots of leaves, but isn't a tree?
- Alex: [into microphone to the whole church] A directed acyclic graph?

Fri 14th Dec:
Jacqueline: I'm full of people making noises

Tiffer: I wouldn't waste Tangfastic on a woman's cleavage

Rob: I don't stalk guys!
- Stoo: You stalked me on FaceBook!
- Rob: You poked me!
- Tiffer: So "I only stalk guys who poke me", then?

Tiffer to RobHu: I'd be disappointed if you hadn't looked at my birth certificate at least once.

Tue 11th Dec:
Douglas: The Assassins' Guild are easier to wield than a black hole

Douglas: The hardest one to fit in is the school toilets

Douglas: I'm not sure about the inevitability of school toilets
- Peter: Well, at some point someone's going to go along to a school without a toilet and say, "There's something missing here..."

Fri 7th Dec:
Tiffer: I was surprised, I don't think of Ady as a... you know, a person

Tiffer: In my head, women don't change their minds

Wed 5th Dec:
Dave: We weren't talking about porn, by the way
- Emma: You’re the one who mentioned porn!
- Dave: Yes, but that’s because I’m a bloke!

Sat 2nd Dec:
Tiffer to his wife: You’re wearing brown, you look like a dog. Ah – I mean you’re a beautiful woman who happens to be wearing a coat that’s the same colour as that dog...

Tiffer: It’s popular with people who want to do weekend courses in Renaissance Frog-Breeding

Tuesday 27th November:
Sally: We're incredibly short of meetingrooms, so by having sex in one you'd probably stop someone else having an important meeting in one, and the important meeting should take priority. And we definitely don't have enough meetingrooms for lots of people to have sex at work, so it's not fair if some can but everyone can't.

: Some might not shy at describing having sex as an important meeting, would this get you around it!? --MJ

Friday 23rd November:
no-reverse.redstone-isp.net: [17:49] Sucks to be you.
no-reverse.redstone-isp.net: [17:49] I'll try not to do it (I already do, though, it looks horrible)

Thursday 22nd November:
Kate: What is bread pudding? Is it that stuff with bread in?

Tuesday 9th October:
no-reverse.redstone-isp.net: [09:58] A mongoose would be perfect, but hard to improvise from office equipment.

Friday 5th October:
Senji: [13:07] I don't think "the knights who say NID is a good idea"

Wednesday 3rd October:
DDD: Ubuntu is for wimps!
- MoonShadow: Ubuntu works.
- DDD: That's why it's for wimps!

Tuesday 2nd October:
Stephen: If you're flirting with a pogo stick, it's not really flirting any more

Edwin: For cocaine to be dangerous, you have to try. For Saturn to be dangerous, you really really have to try.
- Stephen: No, would you rather be hit by a charging rhino, or by Saturn?

Sunday 30th September:
Tiffer: Sorry, say that again? "Sex"... You said "sex". I like the word "sex". Say it again, in context! With feeling!

Tiffer to Rachael: You look very nice. I've never worn one of those [bridesmaids' dresses], but I'm sure I'd look nice in it too.

Tuesday 11th September:
Vitenka (playing the game he designed): Oh poodles, I hate this game!

Friday 7th September:
client1.poly.msm.cam.ac.uk: [14:24] M-A supposes her toesies superior to noses
- M-A: [14:35] I have more toeses than noses.

Thursday 6th September:
Rachael: [16:41] "OMG we're all gonna die! But it's OK, we have SunKitten's webcomic"

Wednesday 29th August:
Rob: I haven't done anything illegal for several weeks! [people scoff at him] ...I mean about girls...

Tuesday 28th August:
Tiffer: Feed the dog.
- Amy: But it's a fish!

James: Oh, right! I've got more hands than I thought!

MoonShadow: [18:01] (s/he wanted me/I wanted him/)
- Rachael: [18:04] A tragic tale of unrequited love in one concise regexp

Saturday 25th August:
Rob to Alex: You're like Bill Gates's lovechild

Wed 22nd August:
[After Rob converses for half an hour about his angst about trying to buy a certain chair:] Rob: I don't have a problem going to buy a chair

Rob: It's kinda depressing to realise that at age 27, your life can't make any progress because of a chair

Tue 21st August:
Stuart: This castle appears to be built on clouds.
- Vitenka: What else would you build a castle in the air on?
- Peter: A tree!
- Vitenka: But then it would be a castle in a tree.
- Peter: Not if the tree was floating in the air.
- Vitenka: But what would you build the tree on?
- Stuart: It's trees all the way down.
(It did make sense, in the context of 1 and 2. But outside that context...)

Fri 3rd August:
Morag: I don't know much about babies...
- Tiffer: They're smaller than humans.

Tue 31st July:
Rachael: It's hard to perceive people when you start with their arms

Mon 23rd July:
Tiffer: Hummingbirds can fly backwards... like witches.

Wed 4th July:
Vitenka: There are so many things you can do with a million squirrels...
- StuartFraser [correcting AC's quote]: It was "so many", not "far too many". Vitenka would never say there were too many things to do with a million squirrels...

Mon 25 June:
Alex: "Most cups of coffee don't have windows you can drag around on them..."

Sat 16 June:
Morag: There are three people around the table to whom my hair could be applied

Morag: What did I do with Margaret Thatcher? I'm sure I had her at some point

Fri 8th June:
StuartFraser: I'm not aware of any physical theory in which a substance can be modelled either as a wave or a scanning electron microscope.

Wed 2nd May:
Alex re Pascal's Wager: Assume a spherical Jesus...

Tue 1st May:
Mark: It's a half-fish, half-human...
- Peter: Amphibian?

Sun 29th Apr:
Rob: I turned down sex with Sally.
- Rachael to Amy: Oh yeah, you missed that, didn't you, it was before you got here?

Rob to Amy: This was just before you called me mentally unstable...
- Amy: I never said "mentally".

Sat 7th Apr:
Ant: Funerals aren't really frightening or slithering, unless something's gone wrong...

Vic: You're allergic to the absence of strawberries

Rob: Edwin will shortly be replaced, by the Pope or someone

March sometime:
Hoshi-Chan: Yes, meta tags are best way to get cats to wee on comand

Tue 6th March:
ChrisHowlett: I'm also picturing a Planeswalker summoning a giant [dog] that crushes all creatures

Mon 5th March:
Edwin: Gangs of nonexistent wiki pages hanging out on street corners is an increasing social problem

Mon 19th Feb:
Alex: He's from an era when Britain was a Christian country.
- Mike: In inverted commas.
- Matt: It still is!
- Mike: The commas have become more inverted.
- Matt: Quote!
- Alex: Yes, I believe that is what the punctuation symbol is called, yes...

Sat 3rd Feb:
StuartFraser [picking up a d10 from a TwilightImperium board]: God does not play dice with the universe. At least, he doesn't leave them in the vicinity of wormholes when he's done with them.

Mon 29 Jan:
Alex: Only if the quantum computers are parrots. ...I think that's the first time I've ever said that sentence.
- Matt: Good!

Mike: Playing a racing game on a milk float would be... bizarre