ec2-13-58-82-79.us-east-2.compute.amazonaws.com | ToothyWiki | NokkyQuotes | RecentChanges | Login | Webcomic ( Back to /March2002 )( Up to NokkyQuotes )( Forward to /May2002 ) Rating system in use. Please feel free to browse these quotes from the [Edit] page rather than normal viewing. If there are quotes you feel are particularly good, prepend a star symbol to the start of them by typing Image:46 in the editor. If there are quotes you feel are particularly bad, prepend a ~ symbol. Those with several stars will at some point be collected to form a Best Of. Those with several ~s may at some point be removed. Please don't cancel the symbols out: something with " ~~ " is more informative than if it had no markings.
Tuesday 30.4.02
ed: Let's face it - if people were immortal, they'd be very wrinkly
alex: Have a drink. Have a chocolate. Have a breadboard.
Monday 29.4.02
alex [describing Jesus]: "Meet the ultimate stress reliever!" - rob: Sorry, chainsaws aren't allowed in church...!
alex: Are you aware of my phone's hatred for conifer trees?
alan to mike: You're not using your normal email client are you? This is heretical...
Sunday 28.4.02
alan: I'm afraid I'm going to lunch. This has priority over going to jail.
stephen: I've just completed Fantasy Land Dizzy. - alex: Which one is Fantasy Land Dizzy? - stephen: Erm... the one called Fantasy Land Dizzy. - alex: Thank you for that helpful and informative clarification! - stephen: The one where you start off next to a troll, and you have to throw a bucket of water over a fire. - alex: Oh, *that* one...
hugh: If somebody like the Bishop of Liverpool [becomes Archbishop of Canterbury], who's very charismatic, lively, young... - jonathan: ...Got a beard..
hugh: If Parliament wants to go to war, and the Queen says "No", they'd get rid of the Queen!
jon from casi: The US pulled its weapons inspectors out of Iraq, because it wanted to bomb Iraq. This was probably a good idea, as otherwise they'd have died
ben to peter: You're just doing your best to allow yourself to telnet into that light bulb over there, aren't you - once they get a Java client for it...?!
david coak: How do you land on a table without knocking everything else off, while hopping?
alex: How can you have vegetarian smoked mackerel? - unknown: It's made from vegetarians. Flavoured with smoked mackerel.
(PeterTaylor) It's mackerel smoked over burning vegetarians
Saturday 27.4.02
lucy: Wow my husband exists!!
milan: I have no sympathy for you. In fact, I have less than no sympathy for you - I have negative sympathy for you!
mike: That's quite believable, actually. - alex: That Morag should want to install Morax on her head?!
[anti-D] anne [crying out frantically]: I don't need to be restrained - I'm not mad!!
alex [inquisitive tone]: What *is* your opinion on human sacrifice?
anne: I don't think we need a bed, I think we need a tandem - mike: Sleeping on a tandem sounds uncomfortable...
alex: No, you can't kill my phone! - andrew: It's running a wonderful piece of software on it - you *can't* kill it!
alex: How long ago... - mike: Um... Ago.
lucy: You're not allowed to burn shoes - they emit too much rubbish
mike: I might not be in this country when I finish my PhD
anne: I've got no job, so I kinda... watch Neighbours
Friday 26.4.02
andrew t: Did anyone pick up my glasses (spectacles as opposed to crockery) after Harry's? The case looks black and boring - a bit like a cow. Except it has no spots. And it doesn't go "Mooo!!!!" Seriously though, I could do with them so that I can see things.
mike: How do cows moo under pressure? And how do you know? Have you been sneaking in and tormenting cows again, Alan?
Thursday 25.4.02
"mike": Hmm. well, oggle. oi oi umph! Bobble...
alex: All computers develop personality - angela: Not if you format their hard drive often enough...
angela: It's funny how you know so much about what all women did and didn't want to do - andrew: I listen to Radio 4!
zoë: I'm glad I'll get some dinner - while I value your company, it's not really edible!
Wednesday 24.4.02
alan to mike: So are you saying that Alex should be a manager, perhaps of the Um Bongo factory...? though that would make him a rhino... a scary thought...
alex to tish: Beware. I am following you with an empty breakfast bowl. - tish: AAaah! [Exe]!
Tuesday 23.4.02
stephen: He's not lying, he's just demented
alan: We're talking about selling genetically-modified two-dimensional pasteurised rhino's milk
stephen: You also have to pasteurise the field you keep your cow in...
alan: We could solve the world's deforestation problem by drinking Um Bongo
angela to alex: You're very strange.
alex: I can't really hear you very much; I have a load of beans rustling in my ears.
alan to alex: Stop being so nosy, reading your own quotes!
milan: That was more than pre-emptive, that was stupid
Monday 22.4.02
rob: I have a Socket 7 mouth.
milan: I can't do it. - alex: What? - milan: Swapping my eyebrows over...
rob: Pray that when I yawn, I won't lock my jaw permanently
alex: Well, I can take on "Mornington Crescent" duty, anyway
Image:46Image:46 mike: So let me get this straight, Alex. You don't just talk to yourself - you set up a video link and converse with yourself *face-to-face*! - alex: I'd say yes, except you'd quote me...
Sunday 21.4.02
mike: I don't think Angela wants regurgitated quotes all over the place
mike: I am not a bee-herd! I refuse to be a bee-herd!
alan: There's no guarantee there'll be a drought tomorrow - mike: Yes there is - I won't be there!
mike: Somebody's at the door. - jenny: It's me! - mike: This time it is, but it's usually me!
alan: Why am I in the way? - angela: Because you're a man in the kitchen!
angela: A month. - mike: I'd be careful how you say that - Alan might think you're saying "Munch" and get excited. --Oops?!!
alan: I thought I was the amoeba... have I become fluffy?
sarahb: Oh yes, it's Sunday, isn't it? I can't get my head round these days of the week...
catriona: If I have any children I'm definitely having that said to them - "Out, damnèd sprite, flee to the netherworld!"
Saturday 20.4.02 (Much birthdayness of Mikiness)
[D sdm29] angela: Tell Stephen about your 0s and 1s - someone: That sounds like the kind of thing Stephen would be interested in...
angela: Andy has a beanbag - stephen: Andy has a barbecue. - alex: That's not a beanbag. - [later] stephen: I was quite surprised to find out Andy's barbecue wasn't a beanbag... I jumped up straight away
alan: I am Belly's event horizon
milan: I decide I don't exist, and therefore I can't be confused
angela: I should make sacrificing-goat noises and see if Jenny hears
angela: These carrots are condensing a bit
angela: If he's not back, he must be back to front. ...Maybe I meant "If he's not front, he must be back to front"...
angela: Mike should have more birthdays, really!
+alan: I think mister Descartes was a very well rounded individual - mike: Was he a spherical feminist in a vacuum?
angela: I suspect Alex this game - mike: Of what? - angela: Suspecting Serge...
alan: Lentils are lovely - mike: Individually they're fine, but as a race I can't stand them
mike: Alex is the one we need to do things to... we need to attack him with our eyebrows. - alex: Ow! I'm being attacked by eyebrows!
alex: That was very nicely evilly Ow...
morag: That's an old [joke]. Well, it should be.
alan: Do they have Mongolian-German pun dictionaries?
mike: Riding underneath a tractor is definitely odd!
alex: I'm not aware of any horses that go Moop
mike: I made a noise worse than a civilised pig.
mike: I could in theory make very deep and profound statements about the nature of the magazine Time, I suppose...
mike: I'm quoting in the future - isn't that allowed? - alex: No, that's a very present quote. You need some birthday-present-quotes, after all...
Friday 19.4.02
angela to alex: You've got a volcanic cat on your hands!
serge [reflectively, relishing the prospect]: It's not often I get to type "format c:"
angela: You always have lumpy things in your shirt pockets - alex: Well I'd try using flat ones, but they wouldn't work very well as pens...
morag: It's supposed to be sleeping, only I think it thinks it's called chibi
alex: If your sense of balance is more finely balanced than your sense of self-preservation, buy a unicorn! [I meant unicycle...]
morag: I'm going to replace that with a Linux box at some point - angela: What, your head?
morag: The floor is sacrificial - [later]... morag: Ooh! Carpet, goat and hotmail account! - [next day]... mike: Well, goats are just generally sacrificial.
Wednesday 17.4.02
[D] alan: You eat as much as you can, and then you want some more.
Tuesday 16.4.02
morag: I wouldn't know. Although technically I do...
nagi to alan: There are Stephen Hawking singularity theorems about your belly!
nagi: I ain't being assimilated by no-one's stomach!
nagi [to alan]: Would I lie to you? Well, yes, I'd lie to *you*, but [to yves] I wouldn't lie to *you*!
nagi: I don't glue hills together for a living [Context: a bad pun of the mathematical technique "contour integration"...]
nagi: Your friend must have the appetite of a small herd of elephants - yves: Yes, and he looks like it too...
nagi: You're trying to root yourself! You're trying to remove the carrot DNA from your bloodstream...
Monday 15.4.02
rob: Dinner plans? - mike: Dinner plans... have been invited to Zoë's. - rob: Have they?? - mike: I'm going too...
mike: His [Rob's] ears were burning so hot, they set his hair on fire [...] - alex: He [Nokky, the phone] doesn't have any ears. So every ear he has catches fire, but the total Delta-H is still zero. Aha...
mike: It's not really that David Beckham broke a ankle - it's just that somebody rammed some garlic down his throat during that game
mike to alex: I can well believe your Dad has an inimitable fashion
zoë: I found myself thinking "edit undo" when I had put a paper away that I still need...
Sunday 14.4.02
angela: What's the point in Buffy? It's like football - katherine: Only with less vampires...
katherine: Running up the walls is cool. I will get the hang of it in the end, but at the moment I'm still at the "falling over" stage.
zuza: Being unemployed has made me into this horrible capitalist
Saturday 13.4.02
angela: How old's Hannah? - zuza: Twenty. - angela: And how old will she be next year?
Thursday 11.4.02
angela: "Hmm, my computer has a soul. That was an accident!"
katherine: I had an inclination to install Linux. This then changed into an inclination to format my hard drive.
mike: I coffee with fish parabola that you dig.
alanr: Mathmos never have anything useful to say - that's one thing that statistics does prove convincingly!
~ alanr to nagi: You lie on an n-2 dimensional plane of the munching matrix where n is a number that belly has not yet determined but it increased by 1 over the past few days since he ate lots of sushi the other evening...
alanr: Why do I need to project a steak onto a shopping trolley? The steak goes INTO the shopping trolley... - nagi: So there exists an embedding. Suggesting you want to project the trolley onto some (not necessarily proper) subset of the steak. - alanr: So is the trolley now described by the steak? If so, can I describe you by projecting you onto a pizza?
Wednesday 10.4.02
serge: British Library Secret Force, eat your hand -- er -- heart out...
dave: Does anyone know a way of removing my ears without causing *too* much pain?
+nagi: Do not take candy from strangers! - dave: Especially ones with mallets behind their backs!
mike: It could get quite dangerous, throwing hundreds of golden toilet rolls in the air and letting them rain down upon people
katherine: All amoebas like vodka.
rich s: I feel that Andy had plans to make chilli con carne, but that would probably be far too ambitious so we'll probably end up having soup and toast
Tuesday 9.4.02
lucy: It is useless to tell a lunatic who says he is a poached egg that he is not one.
Monday 8.4.02
rob: I'm not sure of the reality of fabric [re: the fabric of reality]
alex: My jeans are currently sitting in the freezer - mike: Is this where you normally keep your jeans?? - alex: Well... yes.
mike: How exactly would one drill a century? - alex: I'm sure there are contexts in which it would make sense... [Enter your submission of one here!!] [OK, when one's making holes in the wall for mounting plaques of rulers of England on a wall: "I've done the space for the 1700s, now to drill the next century." - gaec2] [Or one could "drill" as in practice, like for the Millenial Centenary... - rja29] [submit here!] [submit here!]
[misheard by alex] rob: I'll just interrupt my eyes [Actually: I'll finish rubbing my eyes]
Sunday 7.4.02
ant: I can be the Dark Lord of vegetarians, though... [...] mike [explaining that quote]: Dark Lords have to eat their enemies, and vegetarians can't do that unless all their enemies are vegetables
matthewf: Tortoises are not renowned for their presentations at physics conferences.
alanr: Ahhh... I am an amoeba.
Saturday 6.4.02
morag: Alex has turned into a flowery skirt girl
morag: If by some weird chance you had your stomach in your arm, then the arm would be almost entirely useless, but if you damaged your arm you might somehow get internal bleeding in your stomach
angela: I believe everything should be illegal, except for... those things that I think shouldn't be
harry: I wouldn't know a dissertation if it jumped up and bit me
Friday 5.4.02
mike: If you get offended by bonking Lego men, then I'm worried [Somebody add the hyperlink here, if you know the one we're talking about]
matthewf: Sleep is for tortoises.
Thursday 4.4.02
angela: No tengo glove. - alex: "I don't dance the tango with gloves." - angela: No hablo glove... - alex: "I don't speak to gloves"?
angela: Nyahaha, I am a liberal fundamentalist... nyahaha...
Wednesday 3.4.02
dave: Somebody please drag me off this bouncy castle, I'm dying...
mike: Beware, low-flying Morag going one inch from nose!
alex: How does one reboot a television?! - mike: If anyone can, Serge can!
Tuesday 2.4.02
mike: We're both defective. - alex: Like Superted! - mike: He's not *both* defective!
mike: I'm a fruitcake who doesn't care about cannibalism, because that would be too sane for a fruitcake
![[Home]](/img/text_logo.jpg){kind=logo}
NokkyQuotes/April2002