NokkyQuotes/November2003

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Sun30.11.03

alex: We were a victim of our own success - or rather, a victim of God's providential blessings
[About the way CityChurchCambridge is now too big to all have lunch together]

peter to alex: You're sounding worryingly like you're comparing your brain to a CVS checkout

Sat29.11.03

alex [in a squeaky voice]: I think so Brain, but who ever heard of Snow White and the Seven Samurai?
- milan: Was that your impression of Darth Vader?

alex: But I'm not a wall!
- dave: That's a matter of opinion...

~dave: It was like K:FC.
- mike: Kan't Find the Chikken?

: JasperCarrot? joke from years and years ago. --SF

alex: I wouldn't want to remove my nose!
- mike: But would you want a seal to do it for you?

alex: I have a passport and a receipt for Nokkette with me. And a box of cereal.
- mike: How many of these factors are relevant? ...Amd how many are hippopotamuses...
- alex: I'm almost certain that none of them are hippopotamuses. Although you can never be quite sure...

Thu27.11.03

mike: I don't think that a tea bag could be considered a romantic item under most circumstances...

mike: Try not to create a thunderstorm in your kitchen.
- alan: I'll try. Sometimes it's hard though.

Tue25.11.03

chris: I like going skinnydipping with someone else's trousers

peter: What's really impressive is that [Chris] sings karaoke regularly while pole vaulting
[Anyone who wasn't present care to /GuessTheContext?]

~alex: North would work. By which I mean south.

chris: I am the OctagonalAmoeba. ...Fear me...

alex: Nokkette, however, thoroughly denies all assertions that she's hacked into any major telecommunications networks, whether human or cow.

mike: If you get an email claiming to be from a cow and telling you to do something risky, how do you verify whether it really is a cow sending the email, rather than a geeky teenage boy pretending to be a cow? These are the drawbacks of the anonymous internet.
- alex: Yes, this is the problem. Some would say with the state of the internet these days, when you get an email claiming to be from a cow it's *more* likely to be from a geeky teenage boy than from a real cow.
- rob: Yes - ever since AOL...

alan: Horace said I should pretend to be a bee for the afternoon so I am doing so

Sun23.11.03

ruiko: Oh well, if you're not going to ravish me, can I have my clothes back?

dave: There is one person sleeping in the room.
- morag: What direction are they sleeping from?

alan r: [Alex] is Random Anthropomorphised
- morag to alex: I have to say, you're not a bad try...

Sat22.11.03

[largely because of the z co-ordinate of Alex's flat] alex: I'm getting up early to stop a minibus driving in the front door to my flat

Fri21.11.03 (Angela's giant Indian)

~mike: I shall stop being a pedant... OK, I shall temporarily suspend being a... erm, hang on...

[misheard by alex] carys to david, pointing at item "Calypso Coffee" on a menu: Do you think this has woman in it?
- david: Almost certainly...

~milan: So, are we discussing the relation between a "Get Out Of Nokky Free" card and the Data Protection Act?

alex to milan: This is the advantage of living on a migratory path of... Indian cuisine.

matthew v: I've been thwapping people since 1997

~alan: Maybe the cause of goats is cows... just like the cause of sheep is cows...

jenny: Where's Alex gone?
- milan: Stephen's Dad offered me pickled onions.

matthew to nagi: You love the maths.
- nagi: Oh, I do love it. But it doesn't love me. Well, it does love me... in a very *special* way.

Thu20.11.03

steve: Aagh! I'm being annotated!

alan: But you could start a helping-people-with-sensitive-hand-cleaner ministry... then you could help the hand cleaner as well! :-)

mike: Are you trying to maintain that it's more insane to anthropomorphise walls than handwash?
- zoe: Yes. Isn't it obviously more insane to do the latter? I mean the handwash at least looks like a small animal....

Wed19.11.03

alex: As long as we can identify an AzumangaDaioh character with a fermion, we should be fine...
- nagi: [staring in incredulity] ...No, is the short answer!!

Tue18.11.03

alex, waving some rules at stephen packing away a game: Stephen. Stephen!
- chris: Rules.
- stuart: You have a high opinion of Stephen, then?

alex: The fountain of youth consists in fact of empty haciendas and construction huts

[misheard by everyone] alex to jenny: Having seen you wield the fork, I now understand Finnish

You claim it was misheard. Nobody believes you.

I can't even remember what it was you claimed you said.

There was a full stop! The line ended "....I now understand. Finish." There was...! --AC

In Alex's defence, I knew precisely what he had said. But this was only because I saw him close down a window on his computer when he said "Finish". It's still funny. --SF

That would be a pretty good trick given he was sitting at the table across the room from the computer when he said it.

: No, he wasn't. He left the computer and walked back to the table after he said it.

~stuart: In Spanish, Don Quhquhzum works

alan: Do you think Alex is basically concentrated coffee in a pseudo-human skin?

Mon17.11.03

rachel: I could do with a nice long cup of bath, I mean a bath of chocolate, I mean... *whimper* I'm tired.

dave r: See no monkey, hear no monkey, speak no monkey

alan: We are perhaps providing an all-you-can-quote service for 3 jellybabies/month service... Nokkette is getting good value I think!

nokkette: While not quite quotable, it does conjure up some wonderful electronic mental images, of Alan throwing around an exploding cycle helmet on the 0845 to Kings Cross...

Sun16.11.03

stephen: Okay! I promise I shall never inject my shoulder into another rabbit as long as I live!

~peter: I'm doing well, aren't I - I'm managing to corrupt someone I've never even met

Sat15.11.03 (Gravitation Marathon)

~morag: I'm not interested in watching men have sex. I'm interested in watching men angst about having sex!

Fri14.11.03

mike: But what would I do for most of the morning, when the morning was in soggy crumbs at the bottom of a coffee cup? Or worse still, eaten?

alan: Hmmm... I need a pink with blue spots-coloured bush with dodecagonal leaves that have chocolate droplets each of radius no more than 4mm to hide in... :-)
- mike: I hope you weren't planning to hide from Nokkette?
- alan: No if I wanted to hide from Nokkette the pink spots would have to be mango-coloured and the droplets between 6 and 7.342mm in radius...(!)

Thu13.11.03 (Brad's farewell)

brad: Everywhere you go with Stuart he wants to show off his acrobatic techniques. He says to people, "stand on my hands!"
- tish: He does. It's his bizarre pick-up technique... literally!

brad: You can't eat albatross, you'll be stuck in the Rime of the Ancient Software Documenter

Wed12.11.03

dave r: How is yourself?
- dave l: My self is cold.
- dave r: How is the rest of you?
- dave l: The rest of me is... also cold.

Tue11.11.03

~stuart re peter: That's really incredibly irritating. My only way of saving him keeps him alive...

~edith: Why are there three things with coins on?
- douglas: ...Because three things had coins put on them.
- edith to alex: If that gets quoted then I'll throttle you...

zoë: Where are you hiding?
- mike: Under my desk. I've set up a set of mirrors so I can see the monitor, and I have my mouse and keyboard down here. Since the men with white coats won't talk to me, I'm talking to the dust. :)

sunkitten: I have many evil plans... and so does my cat

Sun9.11.03

~alex: Flying wurms are too stereotyped!
- ... alex: I meant clichéd...

satomi: Nagi... Is he a strange guy?
[Only funny if you know Nagi...]

~alan: The one thing I don't understand about cows is why they're vegetarian

Sat8.11.03

alex: I anticipate being attacked by hordes of fish.
[This was an accurate prediction...]

~ mike: It's a good thing you can't quote things like that, isn't it? Otherwise Nokky would be full of waving spatulas...

~~ alex: Should Rob be invoked?

mike: Cardinal numbers don't generally own books
- alex: I shall be sure tell to Cardinal Numbers this, on my next visit to the Vatican

Fri7.11.03

alex to james: Call me. And I'll call you back. ...Or "James", whichever you prefer
- james: You can call me "Back" if you want. I've been called worse... ...they'd say "Hello, worse"

Thu6.11.03

~peter: Does Dave know many places which sell bonsai Amazons?

alex: I shall again invoke my "right" to say "Ergleflipwoop, count me out" if sufficiently floppity

Wed5.11.03

tom: I saw Nagi standing over me, panting, sweating slightly, and peering through his glasses to check he's got the right target
[This intimidating vision had indeed occurred some seconds earlier, as confirmed by others present... It wasn't just some tortured nightmare hallucination of Tom's]

[W] kazuhiko: Why am I left with the feeling that ToothyWikizens are planning a surgical strike on Asda in order to remove... a trolley.
- vitenka: The ToothyWiki is bored. It demands sacrifice. You must bring it... a SuperMarketTrolley!

[W] requiem: It's kind of easier to attack and destroy Creation in black leather and steel than it is to do so wearing pink fluffy confections.

Tue4.11.03

~douglas s: Street sweeping the world doesn't appeal, somehow

alan: Alex was a rather warped youth hostel...

Mon3.11.03

mike: I have nothing to declare except ecki-ecki-ptang-fluboing-nrnrnrnr...ni.
- stephen: ...And a shrubbery!
- jenny as customs officer: ...Have a nice journey, sir..

alex: I shall declare that I really like Strawberry Haribo - which is the mark of a diplomat!

mike: Well, they started out as biscuits but maybe they evolved into chocolates... you never know with Alan's mornings.

zoe: Be nice to the soap.
- mike: [after long pause] If you say so...
- zoe: I do! I shall ask the soap.
- mike: But you don't go to Alex's house very often... unless you break in and talk to his soap when he's not there?
- zoe: I have ways of communicating that you don't know about...
[...]
- mike to alex: Are there any signs of outside intrusion with nothing being taken?
- alex: [long pause] ...I don't know, I shall have to ask my soap!

alan: I recommend a touch of black pepper and a hint of garlic to bring out the full unrestrained flavour of the photocopier toner...!

matthew f: Unfortunately the microwaving and diluting operators do not commute in the chocolate space.

Sat1.11.03 (MegaTokyo panel)

zoë: Kitchen towel does, I concede, require guile and cunning

piro: L33tsp34k is the worst thing that ever happened to me...

~piro: If you're gonna get hit by a bus, you might as well get hit by a big one

piro: In America we have trouble with how to operate simple things like chairs
- seraphim: They're British chairs!!

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