NokkyQuotes/October2003

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Fri31.10.03

matthew f: Yesterday the number of emails I had received since October 1995 containing the string "cow" (non-case-sensitive) in the subject line increased by 71%.

mike: It would be worrying for a cow's happiness to be governed exclusively by the state of Matthew's inbox.

alex: I gave him a thirty-pound Amazon voucher for his birthday, and he bought --
- dave: A thirty-pound Amazon?

Thu30.10.03

matthew f to alan: Ah, sorry, it was Mike's microwave that spoke to you. That makes a lot more sense.

[W] vitenka: "Covet not your neighbour's wife, sleep with your brothers!" --Vitenka (T-Shirt slogans anyone?)

: (PeterTaylor) I think the intention was to have "brother's" or "brothers'" rather than "brothers".

mike: I was speculating very quickly, that neither sheep nor cows are intelligent enough to write computer viruses. This didn't take thought that was either long or deep, I'm afraid...

alan to mike: Do say hello to your tumble dryer extractor tube for me... I hope he's had a good morning :-)
- mike: You appear to have inadvertently greeted Nokkette at the same time, Alan...
- alan: Well just so long as you do actually say hello to him... he looked awfully alone and in a twist when I saw him last...!

Wed29.10.03

angela: Yes, I too wish I had a helicopter in my hair

[W] ColinLeung: I suggest learning to play a magical pipe to lure all the mouse into the river and persuade them to not remember how to swim.

[W] vitenka: You can never have too many cats. Unless you're swallowing them, in which case the limit is about four.

alan re his morning: Hmmm.. I know this problem... it has one that has plagued me for quite a while... over time my day has evolved into a mint viscount which oscillates with a caramel... occasionally his jammy dodger heritage comes through though!

Tue28.10.03

qqzm: Well at least existing outside the Universe, when it gets destroyed you can quote it...

[W] kazuhiko: When the SAS start recruiting cats, the world will be a safer place...

Mon27.10.03

jenny: Raaay! I didn't get to be horrifying!

mike: I don't want to know what [my hair] eats.
- alex: Neither did it! [pause] The thing it ate, I mean...

alex: All you need is the extra square bracket. [receives questioning looks] To prepare you for being a parent...

qqzm: I waited behind a tabby [cat] for half an hour and the C1 never came...

alex: I will sit... on a roll.
- jenny: I was thinking more of "Alex, the Pizza Topping - this month's special at Domino's"

Sat25.10.03

angela: My mission is to capture all the dim men in the world and keep them in a cupboard

kazuhiko: Fancy a game of 13x13 speed go?
- nagi: I will play. But expect a lot of expletives.
- kazuhiko: It's OK. This is half the point of playing you...

morag: You evil drunken bodybuilding philosopher trolley

kazuhiko: "This morning's lecture is on Soul Stability. I'm here as your lecturer because I don't have any!"

louise: At the end of the film...
- dave: Don't say anything!!!
- louise: ...they roll the closing credits.
- dave: Aww, you've given away the ending now...

douglasr: "When men were real men, and women were real men..."

Thu23.10.03

lewis: Can you make a conscious effort not to say things while asleep?

alex: StarWars 7: The Potato Strikes Back.

alex: I've always liked cereals more than my brother or sister

Wed22.10.03

douglas r: It is possible to deduce what is perfect etiquette by observing Nagi. [significant pause]

alan: Am about to prepare a BibleStudy? on John 10... I'm sure sheep are supposed to be cows...!

Tue21.10.03

alan to mike: If you want to give me an address we could try to have Fedex ship you some coffee for tomorrow if you like?!

Sun19.10.03

alex: Careful, Stephen, don't get ambushed by the plant!
- stephen: Better than being implanted by the bush...

chris: I believe we should define teams
- neil: Okay. I think teams should be groups of three individuals...

Sat18.10.03

edith: I would like a coffee as black as the soul of Ewan
- morag: I can do that - I'm married to Serge

douglas: I have to say, I've never tried eating horsehair furniture...

alex: Did I just hear you say "we have a shortage of ethernet"?
- douglas: No, I said "we have a shortage of ethanol". Alex, you have a one-track mind!

Fri17.10.03

jenny: What else did Euclid do?
- alex: I don't think he was big, black and scary. But I could be wrong...

Thu16.10.03

kenton: "That raising people from death to life has done my wrist in! I'll try not to do so much of it next week..."

zoë: She was really very helpful. And she'd only nibbled the unneccessary bits of the file. One thing you learn if you have sheep searching for your files is to cover them with grass, and to never have flowers as an integral or vital part of the file - sheep really like flowers you see, so they'll always eat them, which can render your file useless....

alex: Hmm. The US might prefer it if she didn't put, say, the White House in her banana

Wed15.10.03

[W] kazuhiko: *uses Alex to make himself a cup of tea*

Tue14.10.03

chris: I don't have to be where the swamps are, otherwise I'd need 5 legs!

alan: At least I'm used to this female body I find myself in

tom: She's wasted a Duck of Doom!
- alex: Oi, that's my Space Helmet!

alex to chris: I shall now attack you with my Steely-Brand Draw Knife.
- chris: Thank you!

alex: What dimension are you in now?
- chris [absently]: 24 at the moment...

: I can't honestly remember, but presumably I was playing with the 3d maze, and wondering how far I'd got?

chess about a game of Munchkin?: Can you play Curses at any time?
- neil: Only once the game's started.

alan: I'm thinking of cooking some biscuits tonight
- zoe: What sort?
- alan: What do you mean, what sort?
- zoe: Well, if you go into a supermarket, think how many types there are.
- alan: Oh, I thought they grew out of the ground. I didn't realise you could make them.

Sun12.10.03

CustardMoonboots: Do you think it's bad that my happiness depends on whether or not my Vespene Gas is depleted?

CustardMoonboots: My kingdom for a milkshake!
- DeliriousEyeliner?: Do you have a kingdom?
- CustardMoonboots: No.
- DeliriousEyeliner?: Then I'm not giving you a milkshake.
- CustardMoonboots: I might be able to give you a king
- DeliriousEyeliner?: In that case I can give you some milk.
- CustardMoonboots: If only I could get my hands on some "dom"...

Sat11.10.03

jeremy: 101 things to do with your husband at the weekend. Number 38: find his resonant frequency A

alex: They go around destroying cities while looking very cute
- CustardMoonboots: Rather like me in that respect...

alex: Is it distressing that I think of a little girl as sounding like a transformed eel ferret magical girl?

alex to a bug: Are you a spider or a buzzy thing?

morag: Can you imagine posting a whole shark into a postbox?

Fri10.10.03

anna: You would find that if you stuck BluTac? in someone's ear, and then said something in the other ear, they'd probably remember... but it wouldn't work if you did it every day...

david to mike re david and jeremy: Are you suggesting that we *both* become amoebas?

alex: Ooh, I've never got to be a rabbit before

alex to mike: Not everyone's as practiced at bleating as you and me

zoë: I like odd socks, but unlike Fiona I wear them paired up

alex: Don't put scissors in your laptop

[W] alex: RiverWorld? is... definitely not SteamPunk - it's just that a bit of it happens to be set on board a big steambat.

mike: I must be some hot chocolate sachets.

Thu9.10.03

stephen: Let's search for "philosophers"!
- alex: ...There's one under the sofa...
- jenny: Aww, I thought you wouldn't notice him. He didn't want to pay any rent...

jenny: We've been practicing our Swedish. This [TV programme with English voices] has Swedish subtitles.
- stephen: They're Dutch!
- jenny: Ah, that was probably why I wasn't understanding it then

alex: Jellybaby?
- peter: No thanks, I'm currently rather occupied with biscuit

Wed8.10.03

serge: Rob. I am going to have to write you a cheque for twenty metres.
- rob: Sorry, I prefer my cheques in sterling, not metres

nagi arriving at WednesdayAnime: Hi Dave! Yo Dave! Hi Dave! And if there's anyone else called Dave, then hi to them too! And hi to everyone else by the way.

[W] alex: Just ignore me, I'll be under this, um, feather duster.

Tue7.10.03

stuart: I declare I am not taking sides, and shall then do so anyway

Mon6.10.03

angela to alex: I'm going to send all the women I know over to sleep in your bed. In pairs.

Sun5.10.03

alex to qqzm: I don't think we need to go matchmaking our Communicators

milan: Fizzy drinks bottles aren't noted for their intelligence.
- jenny: You can't have known many of them then...

mike to alex: The drinks bottles would still be suspicious of you. You're in cahoots with qqzm - you're taking his money. On the other hand, that thought might be a bit sophisticated for a fizzy drinks bottle

alex: It would be bad if the Pope overlooked Rome
- jenny: He might come to GamesEvening next week

Fri3.10.03

[D] mike: So do you miss being a neutrino, then?
- zoe: I still *am* a neutrino. Except when I'm a sheep.

Thu2.10.03

alex: Yes, how dare you call me?!
- angela: It's not my fault, blame the beef canneloni

steve: You don't need to spend hours filling a tub with the Holy Spirit and heating it overnight

peter: I was going to read a bit of a psalm, but then it came to mind to me to read a piece of an Agatha Christie...

PeterTaylor still doesn't think that's right. He thinks it was more along the lines of "... but then a piece of an Agatha Christie came to mind".

: Heh. I do remember it seemed a rather odd turn of phrase you used at the time, odder than "a piece of X came to mind". But, well, it's 6 weeks ago now, so edit it if you wish :) The main point of the quote is the SurrealJuxtaposition? rather than the turn of phrase... --AC

Wed1.10.03

dave: I thought "I've got all these programming skills, I may as well use them making something that everyone hates"

alan: Would you like a drink or something?
- mike: What do you have in the cold department?
- alan: Well I've got plenty of bacteria...

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