Xarak/Wwxd

What Would Xarak Do???

Ever wondered what Xarak would do in a tricky situation? Now you can find out and base your life on his subtle teachings. Guaranteed success and happiness are only a mouse click away!

Because Xarak doesn't have time to provide answers to every possible situation, like-minded people should feel free to add to this themselves.

BNF: Xarak/Wwxd

 bnf ::= Situation : You wantneed to dosomething something but you can't because ohno . Solution : xaraksaction .

 wantneed ::= want | need | feel the urge | have | decide | would like
 dosomething ::= find | consume | look at | have some fun with | do | sit under | go to | take care of | get rid of | buy | sell | make | paint a picture of | take a photo of
 something ::= a sandwich | some beer | your cat | your Quantitive Biology homework | your car | a tree | a public toilet | a sword
 ohno ::= you're stuck down a well | enemy is threatening you with weapon | you're stuck in quicksand | there's a paper bag over your head | you're too drunk | you're completely broke | you're lost in a forest with enemy | you're in a bar-room brawl with enemy | you've contracted disease
 enemy ::= some guy | your Quantitive Biology supervisor | a tramp | a drug dealer | your bank manager | the ex-military Head Porter of Gonville & Caius | a crack-head | Fred
 weapon ::= a baseball bat | a shotgun | a grenade | a large, rusty knife | a chainsaw | axe-klaive-chucks | a brick
 disease ::= the plague | ebola | necrotising fascitis | leprosy
 xaraksaction ::= adverb verb victim and say dash xaraksquip | adverb verb victim | verb victim and then adverb verb victim
 adverb ::= slowly | quickly | menacingly | painfully | mightily | brutally | skillfully | totally | immediatly
 verb ::= punch | destroy | smash | kill | murder | beat | hurt | beat up | kick | take care of | deal with | go and find | run up to | demolish | pull out weapon and use it on | chuck weapon at
 victim ::= enemy | whoever got you into this mess | something | a random passer by
 xaraksquip ::= I suggest you let me go, if you value your valuedobject | I'm going to spit on something | When I'm finished with you, you'll look worse than something | I'm going to verb you | I've fought more dangerous weakthings than you
 weakthings ::= cats | trees | mice | penguins | ice cream cones | non-toxic crayons
 valuedobject ::= face
 dash ::= "-" 
 nothing ::= ""
 fullstop ::= "."

Situation : You want to find a public toilet but you can't because you're too drunk . Solution : mightily deal with your Quantitive Biology homework and say When I'm finished with you, you'll look worse than your car

Situation : You want to do your Quantitative Biology homework but you can't because there's a paper bag over your head. Solution: Quickly run up to some beer.

Situation : You feel the urge to do a sandwich but you can't because your bank manager is threatening you with a baseball bat . Solution : menacingly hurt whoever got you into this mess .

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