train_delayed ::= "I am sorry to announce that the 18.13" service "will be delayed by approximately 10 minutes, due to " pathetic_excuse ". I am very sorry for the delay to this service."
train_severely_delayed ::= "I am sorry to announce that the 18.13" service "will be delayed by approximately 30 minutes, due to " pathetic_excuse ". I am extremely sorry for the severe delay to this service."
pathetic_excuse ::= "a signal failure" | "a points failure" | "a fault with a preceding service" | "leaves on the line" | "the wrong kind of snow"
beggars ::= "Customers please note that beggars do operate at this station. Don't feed them, they might bite. South-west trains have made donations to homeless charities on your behalf."
bags ::= "BEEP BEEP BEEP THIS IS A SECURITY ALERT!!! (Don't leave bags unattended -- we might take them away and destroy them -- MuHaHa)"
evacuate ::= "Due to a ... power surge ... we are unable to operate any trains at present. Please leave the platform by the nearest available exit. (And try not to give those police any funny looks.)"
cctv ::= "For your safety and security, CCTV cameras have been installed. BigBrotherIsWatching?."