Induhviduals

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One of two ways, originating from Dilbert, to refer to someone you don't think is particularly bright without causing great offense ("You know, you're a real Induhvidual...").

Some helpful phrases for use when dealing with Induhviduals follow (some a little harsher than others ^^;;)...

1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view..

2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist..

3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce..

4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental..

5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care..

6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid..

7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

8. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant..

9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth..

10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you..

11. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off..

12.

13. No, my powers can only be used for good..

14. How about never? Is never good for you?

15. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me..

16. You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication..

17. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter..

18. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message....

19. I don't work here. I'm a consultant..

20. Who me? I just wander from room to room..

21. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!

22. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy..

23. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits..

24. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers..

25. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public..

26. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject..

27. Just put one hand on the red wire, and the other in your mouth...

28. No it is not a game. It is a simulation of network activity. Oh look, your computer has just died...

29. What was that username?

30. Windows 2000? No, OS/2 is what you need. I believe I have it on floppy disk...

31. No, beancounter is an affectionate term for the people who count beans.

32. Sorry, that username no longer exists.

33. I can't attend to your problem right now. The server has just [flip switch] died.

34. Take the Mug out of the CD Tray and turn around with your hands up. Was that hot Coffee?

CategoryComedy
See Also: Dilbert, BOFH (the way things are going now)