ReadMe

No.

...

damn...

• You know English - the language of Shakespeare. Isn't that great news?
  
• You can read. The world has several hundred million people who can't read - you are among the lucky ones. Isn't that great news?
  
• If you are reading this on a monitor - you are rich. You have a monitor, a computer - luxury items! Isn't that great news?
  
• It is quite likely that you have an internet connection, and are able to use it as you like (for instance, to read things that cheer you up) - so you have free internet and free time. Isn't that great news?
  
• Someone sent you a link to this or you encountered it yourself. Either way, you're lucky - you have friends who think of you; or perhaps fortune simply smiles upon you. Isn't that great news?
  
• If you smiled even once while reading this - welcome to the internet! There are lots of wonderful things to discover. Isn't that great news?
  

I'm curious about which Russian author was in point 1 in the original. I don't know enough of the Cyrillic alphabet to decipher it. --Rachael

No Russian author - just the words "[great and mighty]", used as a catchphrase to refer to the Russian language. There's no english equivalent AFAIK. - MoonShadow