You know English - the language of Shakespeare. Isn't that great news?
You can read. The world has several hundred million people who can't read - you are among the lucky ones. Isn't that great news?
If you are reading this on a monitor - you are rich. You have a monitor, a computer - luxury items! Isn't that great news?
It is quite likely that you have an internet connection, and are able to use it as you like (for instance, to read things that cheer you up) - so you have free internet and free time. Isn't that great news?
Someone sent you a link to this or you encountered it yourself. Either way, you're lucky - you have friends who think of you; or perhaps fortune simply smiles upon you. Isn't that great news?
If you smiled even once while reading this - welcome to the internet! There are lots of wonderful things to discover. Isn't that great news?
I'm curious about which Russian author was in point 1 in the original. I don't know enough of the Cyrillic alphabet to decipher it. --Rachael
No Russian author - just the words "[great and mighty]", used as a catchphrase to refer to the Russian language. There's no english equivalent AFAIK. - MoonShadow