AlexChurchill/IWillMakeMyFriendsHappyByEmployingAPlumber

As indicated by above line.

: ...expand? - MoonShadow, curious
: LOL! Nope, point communicated loud and clear, no expansion necessary :P --AC

CamFAQ: 2.6.2.8 . But it doesn't seem to have entries for MoonShadow/IWillMakeMyFriendsHappyByEmployingAFish? or AlexChurchill/IWillMakeMyFriendsHappyByEmployingAStripper ;)

: ..and doesn't explain just how you intend to employ the plumber to induce happiness in your friends. Do you have a plumber-to-happiness conversion engine? Does it consume the plumber, or is the plumber reusable? - MoonShadow

It's an indirect conversion.

<Friends' happiness> IsProportionalTo? 1 / <amount of dripping water>.
d(dripping water)/dt_noplumber > 0, but d(dripping water)/dt_plumber = 0 iff plumber <not-element-of> CowboyPlumbers.

According to today's results,
d(dripping water)/dt =
{ d(dripping water)/dt_noplumber t <= 8:30am Wednesday
{ d(dripping water)/dt_plumber t > 8:30am Wednesday
Additionally there should be a discontinuity in <dripping water> itself when switching between the two cases.
And the Wrath of the Council has been avoided in the conventional way - through a series of quests dispatching one minion after another, each seeming to yield nothing but the access code to the next; however by use of the Scroll of Facsimile Teleportation I was able to avoid the usual delays for the Forms of the Council to be carried by footman. In predictable fashion, the Council won't contribute any gold pieces towards the plumber's wages, but they have confirmed he's recognised in the Guild and thus not a member of the set of CowboyPlumbers mentioned above.