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Also [any] [one] [of] [these].  Or [the] [non][red] [alternatives][Form of the Dragon] is particularly cool, flavourful, and weird.

Also [president] of LAC.

But mostly, a cheap & cheerful, but surprisingly good, Chinese on Mill Road.
I'd rather say a cheerful and good, but surprisingly cheap...  Whatever you say, it's a decent visit.  --Vitenka

Also a rather good chess opening.




"Please be careful, Your Highness!", the captain of the guard shouted as the pilgrim that they had stopped to ask directions of turned his face towards them. But it was already too late. The pilgrim's eyes shone ruby red; his jaws stretched forwards and sprouted fangs, his shoulders moved apart, and from behind them, tearing apart his cloak, scaly wings burst outwards. Before anyone could reach a weapon, the dragon was already soaring, clutching his prize.

The first leap was enough to make it over the bushes by the roadside; but the dragon was quickly dropped to the earth by the weight of his load. Beating his wings furiously, he managed to soften the impact; having got a more comfortable grip on his struggling prey, he raced through the woods. A lone arrow followed him, and a hysterical female voice: "Don't shoot! You might hit Their Highness!" "Uh huh", the draggon nodded to himself as he gathered speed. Soon the noise and shouts were left far behind. Looping back and forth a few times just to make certain, the dragon turned towards his lair.

Carefully lowering his drool-covered prize on the stone floor, he towered motionless for several seconds; then gave a loud cry of victory and began to jump all around, rearing his butt and wagging his tail like a puppy.
"I did it! I did it! Aren't I great? I caught one, I caught one, I caught one!"
"What are you so happy about, you monstrosity?", muttered the prey darkly as it lifted itself to its feet.
"I caught one!", explained the dragon happily. "My first princess! Isn't that amazing?"
"Hah!", snorted the prey. "Tough luck. I'm not a princess."
The dragon tilted his head distrustfully.
"You're lying!", he said assuredly. "I heard them myself, calling you Your Highness. And, if you're not a princess, how come you're wearing a crown?"
"Because I'm a prince, twit!"
"A prince?..." The dragon sniffed his prize suspiciously and frowned. "Strange. I distinctly remember what I was taught. Long hair, a silver diadem, silk clothes... all the signs are there. Are you quite sure you're not a princess?"
"Shall I take my trousers off so you can check?", growled the prey angrily.
The dragon opened his jaw, then shut it again.
"That's right," he said in a dead voice, "Trousers. How could I forget?! Princesses wear skirts, princes - trousers."
He sat back on his tail and gave a dejected sob.
"There you have it... and I tried so hard!"
"I can't say I have much sympathy," replied the prince coldly. "You've made me look like a complete fool."
"Hm?" The dragon lifted an armored eyebrow suspiciously.
"Indeed! Instead of fighting dragons to save beautiful princesses - there you have it, I'm a princess for someone else! What shame!"
The prince sat on the floor, hugged his knees and buried his face in them.
"Who'll need me now? I'm useless..."
His shoulders shook, and the dragon realised he was crying.
"Hey, hey now", the dragon shuffled about uneasily. "It could happen to anyone. I'll take you back and apologise."
"That'd be even worse", the prince mumbled, without raising his head. "Now, had I killed you..."
"Whoah, whoah there, none of that!" - the dragon edged back.
"I don't even have a sword," sniffed the prince bitterly. "The armsbearer's got everything."
"That's all right, then." The dragon calmed visibly.
"It's certainly not all right!" The prince jumped to his feet and stomped a boot angrily. "How am I to show myself before my parents now? And what kind of princess will go for me?"
"Hey!", the dragon frowned. "What do YOU need a princess for?"
"What do you mean?", spluttered the prince. "What do you mean, 'what for'? What did you want one for?"
"I have need of one!", declared the dragon solidly.
"I understood that. But what were going to do with her?"
The dragon poked the floor with a talon abashedly.
"I don't know", he admitted. "I haven't been taught that yet. I thought I'd catch a princess first, and then somehow... work it out."
"Haven't been taught yet?", the prince quizzed.
"Uh-huh", the dragon sighed. "My parents kept promising, promising... but in the end, never got a chance."
"My condolences", muttered the prince.
"Thank you. And what do you need a princess for?"
"Well, you know..." The prince blushed furiously. "That's the way things are. I'm a prince, she's a princess... you know, flowers and pollen and all that..."
"Flowers?", said the dragon in astonishment. "Pollen?"
"Yeah. Well, that's what they've said so far. Next term they promised to explain about the birds and the bees, but right now I'm too young."
"Riiiight..." The dragon scratched his head with a talon. "I don't really know what to advise. We didn't even get as far as pollen. To be honest, I was kind of hoping the princesses themselves would know what one is supposed to do with them."
"Me too", the prince admitted.
"So, then, I'm going to try and catch another princess", the dragon decided. "And if she doesn't know, then another. Surely at least one will know!"
"And what am I to do?", asked the prince. "I can't go attacking convoys in broad daylight and carrying princesses off to my lair! I don't even have a lair!"
"You can use mine", the dragon offered. "You don't even need to pretend to look like a human, you look like one already."
"Pretend to look like a human?" The prince bit his lip thoughtfully. "Incidentally, how do you do that?"
The dragon strutted proudly.
"I am a Silver Dragon! We can all shapeshift!"
"Silver?" The prince walked around the dragon, examining him from all sides. "I don't mean to be rude, but this silver looks very green."
"What would a human understand? It's camouflage! Khaki, the best colour for raids."
"Is it just humans you can turn into, or animals too?"
The dragon tilted back his head and hissed.
"You going to tell me to turn into a mouse? That trick won't work!"
"No, what's that got to do with anything?", the prince waved his hand. "It's just... have you ever heard of fishing with bait?"

Two hours later, the prince triumphantly left the dragon's cave. He rode a brilliant white charger - slightly atypical, admittedly, but only for lack of practice on the dragon's part. The prince had high hopes that the dragon would soon get used to his cover.
"Now they will all be ours!", he declared with more assurance than he really felt. "Half for you, half for me."
"Still, what are we going to do with them?", his mount asked.
"We'll work it out when we get there."
[Original here].
HitherbyRussians?!  I like, much.  ---Vitenkaple




A [play] by [Evgeny Shvarts].

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