NokkyQuotes/October2004

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Sun31 Oct

rachael: Yeah, Americans are always talking about nuns in their text messages

Sat30 Oct (The Wedding of the Jeggo)

will to mike: That's the last time you've dismantled an iron as a single man

will, holding a mobile phone: I shall have to find some reception.
- mike: It's on Waveley Road.
- alan: I wish I could say "that's the last pun you'll make as a single man", but...

alex: That whole exchange is so quotable I'm going... [looks down]... to bend a sofa

mike: People to whom staying in a hotel overnight would be prohibitively expensive don't generally have their own private jet

mike: I refuse to let you lick my shirt either before or after the service!

Tue26 Oct

mike: I may be counting my chickens before I've hatched.

alex: Excellent! We're in the lead and both our opponents are people!
- [It should be pointed out there were five opponents...]

liz: That's why we've got the wedding rehearsal, to practise shouting at each other

Mon25 Oct

mike: How can a kettle of fish be a different kettle of fish to a kettle of fish that was undefined in the first place?

Sun24 Oct

sally: Ooh, Alex, don't tickle me, Rachael'll get jealous!
- rachael: Yeah! I want to tickle Sally too, dammit!

Sat23 Oct

alex: "Come on Xylene!"

Thu21 Oct

alan: When Belly has eaten everything [in the global sense], he's satisfied.
- mike: How do you know?
- alan: Er...

elaine: That's not a firework, Kenton, that's a terrorist device! It's about time you learned the difference...
- [...] kenton: You're not allowed to have fireworks any more, but there's no law to stop you from running around with a petrol bomb!!

alex: "You're going to stay in that [car] boot until you get healed!"

alan: Well didn't you know that the fried breakfast appeared when the rain got really bored and started crying out for a friend... and then all the fried breakfasts from the planet Fry flew over to Earth on their flying saucers (aka plates) so they could come and talk to the poor lonely rain drops as they fell through the air??!

Wed20 Oct

mike: Just think of the scandal if I married a minus six year old...
[If Liz hadn't been born on 10/10/79 but the more aesthetically pleasing 10/10/10]

alan: Speaking of terrorism Nagi has a new set of photos of himself.

alan: Well I eat in order to stop the rest of society being eaten...

Tue19 Oct

peter: Is having your head on fire a silly hat?

mike: Noooo! Tunnelling machines is boring. Context is latin for sms envelope!

Mon18 Oct

mike: I don't want a shoulder on my foot and an ankle on my arm. It would be confusing!

mike: I wonder if anyone's done any research into the ElectricalConductivityOfChocolate
- alex: Almost certainly. Almost certainly not intentionally! [...] Can you imagine electrocuting yourself with a chocolate bar?

alex to mike: What kind of kettle do you keep your croissants in?

Sun17 Oct

rachael, greeting alex: You smell of cucumber. [pause] I don't mean in a bad way...

Sat16 Oct (Mike and Liz go stag dining)

mike: I'm so busy not standing on the chairs that I'm standing on your foot.

mike: Didn't you know that Santa's favourite elf is in fact a yak in summertime?

david g: It's very rare that I haven't been surrounded by at least one other David
- alex: Is it easy for one David to surround you?
- david b: You obviously haven't seen some of the more extreme examples of this

zoë: There's a huge structure made of concrete sheep

david b: I'm not sure the china-making process and the candy-floss-making process have much in common

david b: You're walking down Trinity Street, when all of a sudden you're mugged by a wooden sheep

alex: I eat you, you eat me, we're as... recursive as recursive can be

mike: Most aubergines are sensible enough to remove their hats before they're cooked

dave: Vast legions of prawns, marching under the SPQR banner...
- mike: What's [it] stand for?
- dave: Servus... Prawns... Quo Regum.
- mike: "Slave Prawns for the King"? That's a very strange banner to march under...
- [...]
- dave: Very lightly cooked vast legions of rare prawns

alex to dave: "Hallucinogenic" and "addictive" - they're easy to confuse...?!

mike: You've got a mental image of a tree with deer growing from it now, haven't you?
- alex [innocently]: Me?

alex: It's amazing how many uses for a StanleyKnife? you can find in a bedroom

Wed13 Oct

zoë: When I tried to get books out of my department library, I discovered I'd expired!

Tue12 Oct

sally: So most women are me and I'm most women, but not all of me is women and not all women are me...?

Mon11 Oct

alex: The function f takes 4 arguments... a function f can be defined to be strange if its arguments are in the category of oblong sheaves, and they are fish which --

mike: A pink cute giant robot kitten schoolgirl. I'm sure there is such a thing somewhere in anime

alex: I'm not that into spontaneous combustion... yet

Sun10 Oct

alex: There's vigilante squirrel shearers in the neighbourhood

Sat9 Oct

jacqueline: I'm totally allergic to nuts, like I could - die!!
- stoo: Coool!
- jacqueline: It is kind of cool, isn't it?

jacqueline: I've just slightly taken the truth away from that conversation

mike: We've decided to feed lunch to those who are coming from a distance, so that they're not reduced to British Rail sandwiches. [others laugh] [realises what he just said] What? Didn't you know that if you starve on a train, you turn into a sandwich?

mike to alex: Have you never looked into the romantic relationships between your shirts?

mike: I'm sure Alex wouldn't mind if I bought him some soup, but he might be a little less happy if I asked him to wear it to the wedding!

Fri8 Oct

alan: Cheese and abstract mathematics are one!

Thu7 Oct

mike: I'm sure there was something I was going to remind you about... What it was escapes me, but in case this is enough to trigger your memory, here is a reminder to do something!

Tue5 Oct

You mustn't see this! If you see this, the mystery of the corned beef will become even greater!

Mon4 Oct

mike: Is that a long-lost relative of Anne's? [née Harrison] Yume Harisenn?
- alex: The "Dream Slapping Thing"? Yes, could well be!

Sat2 Oct

alex re some bridesmaids: I love the little coordinated handbags
[Apparently it's not normal for blokes to notice this kind of thing]

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