ec2-3-149-233-6.us-east-2.compute.amazonaws.com | ToothyWiki | NokkyQuotes | RecentChanges | Login | Webcomic ( Up to NokkyQuotes )( Forward to /January2002 ) Rating system in use. Please feel free to browse these quotes from the [Edit] page rather than normal viewing. If there are quotes you feel are particularly good, prepend a star symbol to the start of them by typing Image:46 in the editor. If there are quotes you feel are particularly bad, prepend a ~ symbol. Those with several stars will at some point be collected to form a Best Of. Those with several ~s may at some point be removed. Please don't cancel the symbols out: something with " ~~ " is more informative than if it had no markings.
31.12.01 (New Year's Eve in many places)
acr33: I didn't use to like my sister breathing
jjb37: Do [lobsters] count as sharp objects that you can't take in hand baggage?
jsn23: I'm Serge's fish... I think. Do I get to dress myself in breadcrumbs?
jsn23: Slice'N'Dice is what you always end up doing with your hands when you're an alien. ...That didn't come out right, did it?
gaec2: This is either a kebab or a scene from Final Fantasy 7... - dgs26: Possibly both...
jsn23: Has that got a small computer in it? I figured it must do, seeing as it's a small brick
jsn23: Strictly speaking, we don't claim it's true, we just claim we can prove it
gaec2: Angela and Ant are screaming numbers of slices of bread at me - ant66: Twelve! - acr33: Sixteen!
ant66: Our radio presenter has just been transformed into a horrible alien
30.12.01 (The Humans Landed in a bowling alley)
acr33 to gaec2 [age 23]: All the people your age are 23!
sarah: Maybe this year we should aim to make a New Year's resoluffion
29.12.01 (Magic gathering in the Shack)
gaec2: So let me get this straight. The reason I couldn't hold your hand was because you were over the other side of the bed, having a videoconference with a Tibetan lobster?
acr33: My cheeks hurt. - gaec2: Why? - acr33: Because I'm a lobster.
vic: I used up my Sean Connery long ago
acr33: The England cricket team - I've been trying to get through them for ages
acr33: The Conservative Party... principled...no, even I can't be convinced of that!
acr33: I've been holding cow-pats in my hand for ages
susy: I could set up a very long cable and go and dictate standing next to the tumble dryer
vic: Kronenbourg I don't think is a very Mexican beer... but 1664 is a Mexican number. Mmmm.
dominic: Why aren't your cats made of concrete?
paul: There's 70 of me in my little finger
acr33: If I was blowing up an inflatable space-rocket, I imagine I'd look embarrassed too
28.12.01 (Showing Angela to the Cambridge relatives) (*Angela gets scared*)
ant66: Just let me figure out where my ears are
gaec2: I shouldn't scream in terror at the thought of my brother, should I?
karen: [Jill] can't get married in a Port-a-Cabin! - di: It happens to be our favourite place of worship!
vic: Quick, grab that chap off the street - ant66: "There's half a pound of Stilton we need you to eat!"
karen: Stilton goes well in mousetraps - vic: It attracts a better class of mouse? - karen: Yes, they come with their high heels already on
ant66: All caterpillars are called Curly - vic: But they might be saying, "I'm a curly caterpillar trapped in a stripy caterpillar's body!"
di: This is a vegetarian tarin - ant66: What's one of them? - di: I don't know, but [pointing] it's that!
vic: I can wrap anything! - acr33: Ooh, that sounds like a challenge... - vic: OK, hold still...
27.12.01 (Bournemouth friends reunion)
vic: I haven't learnt it off by heart yet, but it's in my memory
lauren: Carrotmail dot com - carrot, as in "blue carrot"...
26.12.01:
acr33: Before we had a leek in the shower we used to stand there and nothing happened
ant66: I'm sorry - I've just discovered my shirt is in fact a sixteen inch forest
25.12.01 (Christmas Day):
will: OK, so I'm not going to sneeze. *ACHOO!* OK, I take that back! - lynette: The comment or the sneeze?
gaec2: Writing with sideburns. You know, Shakespeare.
ant66: I'm not practicing a Vulcan death-grip on him! I'm trying to draw on his neck. - gaec2: With a fish... [He was!]
vic: There's something about the way bakers bake croissants that makes them come out croissanty
24.12.01
ant66: Grraargh! - That was directed at the cat, but it came out like I was growling at the salad...
vic: I shall invent... an artichoke!
ant66: Leave me out of your toilet-related struggles!
gaec2: I'm stuck on the point of a trowel
gaec2 to ant66: Don't sacrifice the chocolate!
ant66: It's got green hair - james: No, that's just your eyes. Yes - your eyes have green hair...
ant66 re gaec2: I reckon we should shorten him to Peter
23.12.01
susy: Right, I have my phone - gaec2: Ah, that'd be why I can smell blue cheese
22.12.01
breeze: I don't see how a trail of bananas is going to help me...
james: You won! - breeze: And I didn't even mean to...
ant66: Ziggy [a Churchill cat] would scrap with the chair, if it looked at her in a funny way
[caption to photo 12] james: I really hope they're breadsticks!
ant66: I was thinking of a sort of horse, loaded to the teeth with explosives
ant66: We both look very similar! - james: Yes, we both have two arms, two legs... two heads...
vic: Tigger goes off to the big city, and gets a job in a nightclub working as a bouncer... "Can I bounce them, boss? Boing!"
gaec2: Where are some more drawing pins? - susy: Inside one of the cats on the mantelpiece!
21.12.01
helen: I had this teacher who was in the habit of falling off desks
20.12.01
acr33: "It's not in my Bible..." "Well maybe they took it out in the sixteenth century, when you weren't looking!" [She was referring to the obviously Biblical phrase "We do not like green eggs and ham"...]
[with 'DancingQueen' playing in the background] gaec2: I can remember singing this when the people I was singing it to really were 17 - acr33: It's OK to say that now, but if you're still saying that when you're 40... - gaec2: It'll show I've got a good memory? - acr33: And nice big white shiny teeth. [She's requested it be made known that that was not what she meant...]
rja29: Alex and Angela have got engaged! - brsm2: Oh... [he notes the others seem unimpressed by this response] To be honest, I thought they already were
18.12.01
[gaec2 roars at ginger cake] - mpj23: Well, at least it's not a Seal of Ginger Cake Eating
~tseg2: I do enjoy getting to know my sample personally!
akh22: I still think it's better if priests don't wear clothes
17.12.01
celia: I'm not drunk! I've just got [hic!] hiccups!
16.12.01
dkh20: When I'm driving around Cardiff, I feel as if I'm going to fall off the table
gaec2: There are some times when a David-level pun just feels like it's a waste of a penny
gaec2 to a chocolate: You sympathise, don't you, chocolate?
gaec2: A lot of people see the advantages of firebreathing
acr33 to gaec2: You put "a dish that is filling but bland" into my head!
steve gane: Go stick your head in a halibut, then remove it, and we'll drive you to the station
15.12.01
acr33: God's right hand is like a dinner table
akh23: Morag's got into the habit of going "Bleeugh!" It's kind of a mating ritual.But during the mating ritual, things tend to appear on my jumper randomly
akh23: What's biologically a banana? - gaec2: Bombay duck...
mpj23: I think I'll just go and buy some more coffee - akh23: Just do what I do and bash your head against a brick wall - it's much easier!
mpj23: Angela is superior to Alex, because she can hear quotation marks
rja29: I don't care how many bugs are in it as long as they keep feeding me chocolate
14.12.01
dr105: Louise, I hate to point this out, but there appears to be a fish on your nose
gaec2: I'm trying to fish out the fish with a moustache - dr105: I'm sure there's something deeply Freudian about this
acr33: Is it ethical to eat BBC Radio 4 presenters?
13.12.01
akh23: I'm still feeling out-coupled, but now I'm feeling mobbed as well
12.12.01
gaec2: It felt like my hair was trying to eat the fish
akh23: Where's the cat? - acr33: Preparing for marriage
awr25: I just had a 20 minute e-chat with a school friend about the letter S
11.12.01
gaec2: Alex and Angela have a headbutt-the-paint-pot competition
mpj23: Alex, why do you always say Trout in such a falsetto voice?
gaec2: It's quite fun when I get to be the one who drops the devil in a kettle. [Stop to appreciate the utter ridiculousness of this quote for a moment. Then realise that the game SettlersOfCatan can easily be spoonerised to be KettlersOfSatan?...]
[D] james: Sorry, I'm just randomly shouting cheeses
10.12.01
serge's computer: Checking for updated version of gravity, please wait...
gaec2: Someone's playing snooker on top of the television
[D mag32] mag32: I'd like to put the fruit in the fruit bowl, but there's ethernet cable in the fruit bowl
gaec2: Serge transforms into a road
9.12.01
~acr33: Very innocent plink plink star!
mpj23: I think I've broken Alex's laughter restraint circuit - gaec2: [points at stuffed cheeks] Rice
mag32: She's got a sore throat, too - acr33: Who, [Morag's snake] Cinnamon?
acr33: Talking in a quiet voice makes people listen more than shouting - mag32: Yeah, but shouting's fun!
[misheard by pjt33] toh22: Trinity is a dinner [Actually: Trinity isn't in there...]
acr33: I can't see the point of talking about presidents and beards!
pjt33: Zero is a mathematical object. Which doesn't have a beard.
toh22: Are you a compsci? - pjt33: Yes. - toh22: I have a problem... - pjt33: I'm not a psychiatrist!
acr33: "Where's Toby? - He's still cup-bashing?"
toh22: There's a water machine in college, which is exciting enough!
gaec2: Would it have been better if I'd actually taken off? - acr33: No, I'd tell you not to show off in church
acr33: Alex, as a sheep, I don't think that was very good flocking
~toh22: All of us are a bit like that pat
8.12.01
rja29 to brsm2: Well, what animals do you know that have breadcrumbs on their skin?
gaec2: I felt something prickly on my side, but I looked down and found it was only bonsai tree
6.12.01
james to gaec2: I couldn't find you in Custard so I came back here
stephen: Which is worse - crucifixion or tongue-piercing?
5.12.01
mpj23: I think that faced with a small helpless animal, one of the things Nagi would like to do would make a balloon animal
mpj23 to fairytale princess: Get the hairytale out of your head...
acr33: I have a secret addiction to table football - I think I just like moving men around on sticks
gaec2: Mike, I don't know whether you're looking like the machine's threatening to flamethrower you, or like you have in fact been flamethrowered and subsequently zombified
brsm2: Actually, we've murdered him and buried him in the garden - acr33: Cooool!
rja29: Why are you putting tar in the biscuits, Mike?
4.12.01
akh23: I've got a rowing cult - you can join that if you like
[misheard by mpj23] akh23: I'm secretly on fire [Actually: ...secretly on five]
acr33: Someone's going to get hurt, and I don't want it to be the coffee!
jsn23: I can't say that at a wedding, though, can I?! "I tried to ignite the groom!"
akh23: I've got enough trouble as it is, without leaning forward and back with no warning
fam26: You've forgotten about the rules that I haven't told you about yet!
acr33: He's a vicar! It's really scary they let someone like that "vic"!
jsn23: Ed, can I ask you a personal question? Do you understand conformal field theory?
acr33 [shouting into a mobile phone] I'm in your pocket!
ads27: And if they haven't got it organised by then, I come over and beat them round the head with a baseball bat - aethd2: I object! Can it be a cricket bat not a baseball bat? - ads27: OK, I agree. Cos I've not got a baseball bat but I have got a cricket bat
ads27: I think- I think that- I- I think- I think I can babble incoherently
3.12.01
mpj23 re gaec2: I was tickling his pocket
rja29: Do I look like a boot?
acr33: "I've evolved!" "You're stupid..."
acr33: The sheep burned me!
acr33: I almost grilled my hot chocolate there... doh, doh, doh! [...] - acr33: Yes, I asked it, "What are you doing staying out past ten o'clock!?"
mpj23: Intercontinental buttocks? - rja29: I don't know anyone called that!
mpj23 to acr33: How can a piece of cake stand on your head? - acr33: This is what I'm planning to investigate in a highly scientific controlled way!
acr33 to fiona: Do you mud-wrestle? - [gaec2 looks worried] - acr33 to gaec2: It's a female thing!
mpj23: Ben always put the grill away after making Ben and toast
acr33: Your trousers look quite long, so the cheese must be hidden somewhere
gaec2: Well, I don't think we'd be able to carry a giant mobile phone, the green triangle, all our Magic decks, both boxes of Settlers, Angela's scooter, and Hilbert into the cinema
mpj23: *smug Hermione-style aren't I good grin* *looks at unbearableness of email* Arrgghhhh *shoots self gently*
2.12.01
mjcp2: That's nearly a metropolis. It's at least the M25.
aig20: We need an orbital sheep bombardment!
gaec2: I am the incarnation of five!
aig20: You were swimming in wood a moment ago
mjcp2: Don't do it Anil, don't do it! - aig20: Do what? - mjcp2: [exasperated] Well, I don't know!
mpj23: I shall take a big whip, and whip the train with it!
acr33: As long as I don't say dibbledobblewibblewobble-nyobnyibnyob-dubdub-whoo-wergghhh-dab-dab-dib-dob-dib, I can't get too worried - mpj23: You just did
mag32: That's a bit of an unfair trade! - gaec2: In what way? - mag32: A tea bag is worth more than a CD
mpj23: Anil came out with another quote, but I can't remember what it was - aig20: Which one?
aig20: Whoa! A trans-dimensional Tower Bridge!
dgs26: Can I be awkward and ask that we pause here until I die? It won't take long.
mpj23: Now all I have to do is come up with a logical reason to connect the fact that the train's half-full already with the fact that we're all doomed
acr33: They're a pop band made entirely of pants. Mr B Shorts... "Y"...
harry: Look at Alex - he talks to his neighbours - acr33: Yes, but he's not a vampire slayer!
gaec2: Sheep have got a big woolly coat - audrey: Not on their feet!
1.12.01
acr33 to ea212: Are you a bison? - ea212: Only on Tuesdays
acr33: Don't you reckon the Roman Empire was the height of civilisation? - emn23 : Naah. Cats, definitely. Behind every successful emperor is a cat.
david gane: Stone-age men didn't do gymnastics
acr33: All three of us will be willing to throw dinosaurs at you
mjcp2 [hunting in fridge]: Where the heck is it? Why does everything I own go missing all the... what was I looking for again?!
![[Home]](/img/text_logo.jpg){kind=logo}
NokkyQuotes/December2001