ec2-3-15-235-196.us-east-2.compute.amazonaws.com | ToothyWiki | NokkyQuotes | RecentChanges | Login | Webcomic ( Back to /June2002 )( Up to NokkyQuotes )( Forward to /August2002 ) Rating system in use. Please feel free to browse these quotes from the [Edit] page rather than normal viewing. If there are quotes you feel are particularly good, prepend a star symbol to the start of them by typing Image:46 in the editor. If there are quotes you feel are particularly bad, prepend a ~ symbol. Those with several stars will at some point be collected to form a Best Of. Those with several ~s may at some point be removed. Please don't cancel the symbols out: something with " ~~ " is more informative than if it had no markings.
Wed31 July 2002
angela re a noise: That's thunder. Thunder? It's not a train... Maybe it's a duck that got a bit confused
vic: They're exclusive-or'ing the rooms again!
alex: I don't think members of the Trinity habitually push each other's ice creams over. - ant: Mine do...
ant: That's right, I need a nose mould. For making model noses, out of glass...
Tue30 July 2002
vic to alex: I was about to say "Don't do that, I'll get your parents", but then I realised I *am* your parents
Mon29 July 2002
mike: That would be very impressive, if my bottle of NaOH? gave birth to a bull calf...
alex: I'm going to light a fire on my chest hair, and then send smoke signals
vic: Coo, think what an alchemist could do with a coffee maker! - ant: ...Make coffee? - susy: Invent a computer, probably!
angela: There's only so long you can say you're a growing lad for, I've discovered - ant: Especially if you're a girl..
vic: It is hard to get a hangover from custard cream biscuits
alex to ant: You're particularly intimidating to a vegetable
ant: It's that one. - angela: He says pointing at both of them...
ant: "These English people, they've left some [treefolk][legends] on your table..."
vic: What fish are you, Alex? - alex: 31...
angela: Actually they did have fish before Christians.
angela to alex: Thank you for rescuing me from the evil Chicken salad
vic: I want a thatched cottage with a 20ft ceiling. You could do it with a barn conversion. - susy: We don't have a barn. Sorry to be so practical. - vic: We could build one, then convert it!
vic to alex: You need rear-view mirrors on your elbows
ant to vic: Do your eyes fall off when you get drunk?
vic: Not the dental iniquity, from the Dental Iniquisition!
[G] ant: I'm less normal than I am!
vic: We haven't buttered the crossword
[D] angela [looking at the 3 packs of cheese]: "Mature cheddar"... "Extra mature cheddar"... "Davidstow mature cheddar"... ...I think I'll have some Babybel!
[G] alex: Victor is a food processor!
vic: You tend not to get fish just falling out of trees
angela [confused]: Why would you want to offset a stereo?
Sat27.7.02 (Les Churchill arrivent en France)
ant: It's a bootleg car wash - alex: Known as a fire hydrant? - ant: Yes...
susy: Mmm, that [food item] 's nice. - vic: Yes. It's kind of like marmalade but without the taste...
angela: What's the French for "wibble"?
vic: Antony, wave the table at your brother
ant: Will we fit? - alex: Yes. - ant: By a hair's breadth - alex: Quite a big hair's breadth. By an afro's width...
angela: So are you saying Dracula is married to Doris?
~ant to alex: Hmm! I underestimated your spade-handling capabilities!
angela: Ants don't usually have whiskers. Unless they're cats in disguise. - ant: That would be quite a disguise! Giant ants disguised as cats... I want one!
ant: You have this unfortunate tendency to collapse on the floor - alex: Not "collapse"... - ant: Well, collapse very deliberately.
angela: Can you make international calls on the hamsters?
~angela: Beware of the tortoise!
angela: There's water in my ears! Shlup, shlup, shlup. Oh well, I can put fish in there.
alex to ant: How many of my knights have you married off?
ant: No brains here, we're British!
Fri26.7.02
susy: It gives a very accurate description of our garden - vic: Except that there isn't a big green ball sitting on the lawn
angela: I'd put a advert up to say "Nice people wanted to form a crowd!"
alex: We're passing a twiglet bonfire in Bournemouth
Thu25.7.02
catherine darke: I wish I were a Scotsman, so I could carry a knife in my sock
zoë: Drinking liquid nitrogen was never high on my list of priorities anyway...
Wed24.7.02
matthew: I prefer linear t-shirt wearing
alex: Nagi is a spectator sport!
~alex to dave: The sake of SANITY!? I do NOT keep the QUOTES FILE for the SAKE OF SANITY!!
mike: Ah, the bliss of married life, when your wife will buy you sound cables. - nagi: What more could you want?
morag to serge: What's your problem with unplugging wires?
dave: Morag, you need to iron your screen
serge: I have text on the back of my head...
dave [as if to a child]: "You! Lie on the floor and purr!" - morag: Oh, if we ever have children, they'll be doing stranger things than that...
dave: The soap landed end-on and stuck that way, in the shower this morning. If I'd had my video camera there with me... ...then I'd not have had it switched on, obviously. - alex: What, you're not in the habit of videoing yourself in the shower, then, Dave?
nagi: They're all growing turbans. - dave: In my case more like "secreting"... - nagi: You might want to see a hair stylist about that, Dave!
morag: These are lovely, *lovely* cats... they throw up on the floor, where it's easy to clean up
nagi: Dead cats are rather smelly... - morag [giggling]: So are live ones!
alex: Your shirt is more summery in its blueness. Or blue in summary...
Mon22.7.02
~mike [yawning]: Our p-hriorihy izh hoo yaawhn...
alex: I think being a Transformer is a fabulous vocation
rob to mike: You originate from Blu-Tac?!
mike: Rob could probably try to express it clearly through a blu-tac sculpture...
alex: "It started off as a perfectly normal sketch about Zoë being someone's grandmother, but now it's just got silly!"
~mike to rob: Does that make Zoë your grandmother?
mike: House guidance system! "Incoming house - duck!" Waaak, waaak, waaak...
rob [a system administrator]: I should be more worried about that. But why should I, when I've got the users to do that for me...
rob: You should do "evan" but not "gelism". - alex: Delivering vans electronically - excellent...
~mike: "Left." - I might as well say it retrospectively, since you're going to shoot me anyway...
mike [in scary-Jedi voice]: Use the polka-dotted side, Luke!
Sun21.7.02
zoë: You seem to assume you're a coin with two sides - whatever gave you that impression?!
mike: Innocence shines from your every tail. - rob: But I haven't got any tails. - mike: Exactly!
rob: That's not a very descriptive way of describing that sound as against other weird sounds I might make
mike: You plunge into a hole and find Nokky at the bottom
mike to rob: Just eat it - you don't need excuses to! - rob: But I need excuses to talk...
alex: Differential equations are burning in hellfire for being false gods?
di: We normally have our evening meal in the evening
di: I've got an interview... - angela: Oh, what to do? - di: The job I've been doing for the past seven months!
alex: What happens if I wanted to plant a tree and name it Girton College? - angela: Then it wouldn't be a college, it would be a tree. And everybody would laugh at you.
Sat20.7.02
angela: Is that a bit of paper that just fell out of that tree? - alex: No, it's a leaf...
angela: No, is the short answer. ..."Nooooooooo" is the long answer...
douglas: Alex, I think Nokky is trying to eat your ear
mike: Alex, only you could have a conversation about sticking wardrobes to the ceiling
alex: Ears come in ear drums, obviously. - mike: No, eardrums come in ears!
angela: Alex once had some dental iniquity perpetrated upon him. - alex: Yes, I did!
serge: If there's no America left for me, I will destroy it!
lucy: They've got a dog so they don't need to dance around naked? - alex: Yes, that was what I was after getting you to say so that it can go in the phone...
douglas: One of my biggest shames was when my company sponsored a roundabout.
Fri19.7.02
mike: There is only one Nokky: the other cat
~angela: Sometimes sheds are drive-through
alex: After a hard afternoon spinning round an iron atom, you just want to "hang out" like an electron...
~alex: "The Black Hand will watch over the Green Sheep"... [A reference to the opening quote from the anime Noir.]
morag: Um, the glacier in our fridge ate the orange juice...
Thu18.7.02
~peter: Knee-deep in quail... - steve: Oh, so you're a grumbler, are you?
kenton: Everything starts at 7 in August!
tish: "I'm going to work by hover-iron"??
Wed17.7.02
~morag: It's mine, alright! Regardless of what anyone else thinks...
nagi: It was quite bad on Monday because I seriously thought a string theorist was going to push a baby in the river! - vicky: That would be one of the more practical applications of string theory...
dave to serge: But we aren't, um... - alex: Vampires? - serge: But I'm working on it!!
morag [speaking for the OrangeBowl]: Give in to your hunger! Join me, and we will rule the living room together!
mike: Why do I have to die just because Morag stepped on my foot?
~serge: How do they breed? They're missing their bottom halves... - dave: Osmosis!
vicky: I want a thick 300-year-old samurai for a pet!
scott: We used to be programmers and science fiction fans, and then one day the whole site was buried in cherry blossom leaves, and by the time everything was cleaned up, [the entire website] was pink and gold and red...
Tue16.7.02
alex: I haven't managed to sleep in more than one place at once. I keep teleporting back and forth at hourly intervals. I haven't quite mastered the coexisting thing yet...
morag: I'd rather have my house fall down than lose my connection to the internet!
Mon15.7.02
rob: Gorillas are environmentally friendly!
alex: Yes, I have just typed in "My bed woke me up to see what was the matter" [To Google, including surrounding quote-marks. Try it yourself if you want - it's pretty cool ...]
ben: One minute he was dancing around in a 1940's bar, and the next he'd turned into a spaceship
mike: I've got a mental image of a [web] server with a big wooden door with a window and with painted flowers
~rob: That's the problem with markets. - mike: They time-travel?
mike: Why do I have this talent for making quotes within ten seconds of you walking in the door?
mike: I look forward to watching you ride home on a dismembered bicycle, Alex
tvnews: The [stock] markets didn't need any reason for panicking, they just got on and did it. - rob: They should see a psychiatrist, then...
Sun14.7.02
alex: Quantum tunnelling trifles are something you shouldn't camera with. [It made more sense in the context, which is probably easy to guess]
mike: The number of people who keep an aquarium in their pocket is severely limited.
alex: No, there isn't any salami on my sock!
Sat13.7.02
angela: I haven't been to parties consciously where people have put music on
mike: He didn't quantum tunnel into the basement. - rob: I've stopped doing that...
nia: [Liz] looks on each minute as an opportunity to revise; I look on each minute as an opportunity to forget what I learned last week...
Thur11.7.02
steve: In the Peak District they eat standing on their head. - peter: I don't! But then I don't always fit in to local customs.
hazel: You do actually have to ask, guys - we're not psychopathic! [She meant psychic, or telepathic...]
hazel: I'm not into the kind of sports that involve any skill
kenton: Sitting on a deckchair with a gin and tonic: "Ah, this is my kind of gardening, not like those silly people over there who're digging..."
Wed10.7.02
vicky: If an animé fan eats a toffee in a forest, when there's nobody around to care... - alex: Does that still get quoted?
~vicky: Emotion scrolls across your bum
morag: I apologise for the bottom of my head
vicky: I do /not/ see floating alsatians.
serge re their new projector: And, in common with every piece of new display equipment we have ever owned, it has a problem, which we have fixed in a bodgy manner
nagi: I wish I could say that's the worst thing I did. Well, I could but I'd be lying. - morag: You wish you could /truthfully/ say it was the worst thing you did. - nagi: Well, I could... but I'd be lying.
Tue9.7.02
alex: Safe journey. - mike: Bike journey. It's quite hard to ride a safe. They don't have wheels. - alex: No, you just have to persuade it to gallop... - mike: Presumably by dangling some money in front of it?
mike: Maybe we need to duct tape his head to the rest of the world
alex: James had a skull for a while
mike: If I had bones in the shape of a handle growing out of my head I'd be worried
mike: If its anything to do with sex I would be in big trouble for /not/ sending it to Lucy
alex: I'm sure Serge and Nagi between them would love the idea of exploding coffee
mike: Even a humble squid has enough cognitive ability not to eat itself
Mon8.7.02
morag: [Serge and I] still manage to communicate even though we live together!
mike: Kill steep happening [spoonerism of "Still keep happening"]. I wonder what that is... - alex: An avalanche!
mike: I wasn't here, I was in Mexico. So I wasn't in Cambridge. I haven't yet mastered the art of being in two continents at once... [...] - mike: Unfortunately my legs do not span the five thousand-odd miles between here and Mexico City. - rob: It's the occurrence of the word "unfortunately" that gets me!
mike: Do you often get house and hair confused, Alex? - alex: Frequently...
~alex: Whereas I derive my identity... by strict mathematical principles!
alex: Presumably somewhere like Tibet, then, if it produces both prophets and jewels... So have we just deduced that TXU Energi is based in Tibet?! [The baaaaad pun will be left implied]
mike: A capacitor is a "currant" storage device - does that mean you can make grapes in it? Ah - I mean wine, not grapes!!
mike: It works quite well on paper - every time you want a full stop you squidge a currant onto the paper - but it's a little harder on computer...!
mike: Rob, stop it. He's drinking coffee and he's lying on your bed: don't make him giggle!
mike: Rob, does the act of putting on black socks make your feet randomly jerk?
matt: We might not want antifreeze in our coffee, though.
~alan: I need some normality quarks!
rob: But I've questioned my assumptions before - I'd better get some bullet-proof armour!
Sun7.7.02 (Alex and Mike meet the Pizza Princesses)
alex: Where's the elastic banjo?
mike: I am up to my ears in sheep. And they are bleating at me. Right in my ear, because that's where they are up to...
zuza: I wouldn't advise any family to have a horse in the family
alex: Particularly, being octahedral might be difficult in biology
andrea: Nobody wants to buy pizza off a woman with small breasts...
mike: Your reflexes aren't on the same level, are they Alex? - alex: Not being a princess [This refers to Alex, not Mike --mpj23], this shouldn't surprise you.
andrew: It's best to keep [the cats] in as long as possible. Wait for them to get some common sense. - zuza: Common sense?! I'm still waiting for some common sense!
mary-lou: We have little pouches in our underwear where we keep the yeast.
Fri5.7.02
alex: That does the job admirab-ly. - mike: What job does Admiral Lee do? - alex [quizzically]: Obviously, he's an Admiral!
alex: If you leave a magic hammer and a magic spanner in the same toolbox for long, they turn into a magic spammer!!
~alex: My life has turned into three copies of Mickey Mouse!
mike to rob: Your squirrel or your life?! - alex: Quite literally! [Context: "what does this little green stone indicate in this game of MagicTheGathering?"]
alex: So Mike was charging people to fall asleep on top of him?
alex: I was starting to come up with the concept of feline trees sprouting...
mike: I didn't know you had to autograph integers before you could use them...
mike: Is this a spaceship crewed entirely by four-legged African animals which look a bit like cows? [On its own, it's utterly surreal. In context it's a really bad pun. So you're not getting the context!]
Wed3.7.02
vicky: I love Windows in much the same way I love my family - I'd rather it was in a different town
mike: Nagi, why does your head vibrate when you're shouting "Kill"?
Tue2.7.02
morag [on a webpage]: If anyone sees an overused brain cell, it belongs to me, Serge and three others. We want it back. Thanks ^.^
Mon1.7.02
helen: What's that orange thing? - audrey: That's Dad...
rob: [grins evilly] I must check whether Serge has applied the latest patches to his server...
rob: Does that mean a triffid is a person-eating tricycle?
alex to mike: The entire top of my head is disappearing - as indeed your face is.
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