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Easter Sunday 31.3.02
acr33: Bad things are afoot. - gaec2: Feet are bad things. - acr33: I stand by all previous statements...
vic: I can hear the pudding, sing-ing to me...
vic: How would you make a fan out of thick custard ? - gaec2: Now that's a good engineering exercise..
Sat 30.3.02
susy: Ant is a compulsive nibbler. Sorry, that makes him sound like a goat! - acr33: I actually have the same tendency...
harry: The chances of me becoming anorexic are slim-to-nothing
Fri 29.3.02
ant66: Who cares about ethics when it's scones and cream!
susy: I am a cup of tea. I am not a cup of tea!
susy: I've just appointed a new nought-point-five person to work with us
susy [in her 3rd year of lecturing]: Sorry, I'm getting so cynical, the longer I stay at university... - acr33 [in her 3rd year of a degree]: Yes, I find that too!
acr33 to ant66: Do you have a secret teaspoon collage under your bed?
vic: Bring on the dancing croissants!
Thu 28.3.02 (Spring Harvest Day 6)
vic: Peripatetic Counselling Psychology course, located in a winnebago at Rownhams Services... - ant66: I love the idea of a group of [nomadic psychology lecturers], who wander the open plains teaching psychology to buffalo!
harry: Julia's gone in the space where the cupboards used to be
Wed 27.3.02 (Spring Harvest Day 5)
rjh61: Go on and kneel down properly like a proper kneeler so that I can kneel on you
rjh61: Being dead's quite a good contraceptive, actually, Alex. Works for me...
gaec2: Writing with your own saliva on a wall. That activity you enter into so frequently, Zoë? - zcl21: Only when Mike's around...
awr25: I've never driven over Michael Jackson - rjh61: Well I've never licked the M1...
pjs35 [deliberate, singing]: I am the one and only, I am a wooden spoon...
mpj23: But you're not an advanced alien civilisation. - zcl21 [indignantly]: Yes I am! Anna's from Zig and I'm from Zog, didn't you know?
Tue 26.3.02 (Spring Harvest Day 4)
gaec2: The time is - bleeeeuuu-eeegggggheheheghh! - mag32: That shouldn't go in the phone, Alex - it's the kind of thing you always say! - acr33: But that shouldn't go in the phone either - it's the kind of thing Morag always says...
gaec2: [sings] I've wandered into the room where I've been told I have to sing
rjh61 to acr33: I was just being Christian, I wasn't being patronising!
gaec2 to mpj23 [handing the phone]: Observe quoticles!
mpj23: They wouldn't necessarily think of looking for him on the end of the telephone
[misheard by mpj23] awr25: My Belly has spoken at StAG [an Anglican church] :before
[misheard by awr25] sl236: star bhaji star... star get shoes star [Actually, he said *barge in* *get shoes*. Which makes a little more sense.]
peter: The central theme couldn't be faulted... "You need Jesus"... - lej26: It's a bit like stewed apple, isn't it? - awr25: Does this mean Jesus is stewed or Jesus is an apple?
Mon 25.3.02 (Spring Harvest Day 3)
sl236: Isn't a statue just an engraved image where they went a bit overboard with the chisel?
I dream of Dogs, I dream of Beasts Nightmare things with bulging eyes Claws dig at my wings; like a fallen angel I clumsily drop from a broken sky
I've forgotten the fall; I remember only The dull, final impact on icy-cold stone How could I have reached those heights where lonely Angels fly - to so cruelly fall?
I tried to fill life with justice and kindness And felt neither doubt nor fear at all As far below me, shrouded in darkness Crowds gathered to watch an angel fall:
Straight back down to the place we left in hope of finding new life
Straight back down to the place I gazed from with greed and envy at the heights
Straight back down..
And their open mouths catch wind-swept dust: Maybe sweet white manna, or cold white snow Or possibly feathers, floating past After one who has fallen as angels fall
mag32 to acr33: You may not have sexual bits, as an Anglican, but I do, because I'm a Baptist!
mpj23: Morag at least shall have to move, or I shall go to bed on her feet
rjh61: [instead of "ladies first"] Feminists last!
sl236: You can't go from a transcendental number to a tube station!
rjh61: Americans aren't a race...they're a bunch of wallies!
awr25: How do you fit a 3-D sandwich into a 2-D teddy?
rjh61: I've had horrible nuclear wars with Gandhi!
gaec2: Alan is not inexperienced with food
gaec2: You're looking like you're waiting to go somewhere, Alan - acr33: Well, no. Actually, you're looking like you're standing there holding a banana
Sun 24.3.02 (Spring Harvest Day 2)
mpj23: Raise your eyebrows for charity!
mpj23: Rights for fluffy stuffed rabbits!
mag32: Mike, I sometimes think you exist purely to say "Quote" to Alex at sadistic times
awr25: Are you trying to record underwater quotes, Alex?
acr33: Don't forget your underwear, Morag, cause I always do that!
sl236: I really find this fascination with Mike's swimming trunks somewhat worrying
mpj23: "I will go and hear Bible teaching solely on the grounds that everybody remember their quotes so that Nokky doesn't miss out"
mag32: Heretical, useful and pretty - acr33: Yes, we say that about our vicar too!
rjh61: Why didn't we just follow Noddy's elbows?
mpj23 to peter: You can say "Rich" and flail a tea-towel at the same time? That's impressive!
acr33: We're trying to keep this area tidy by shoving everything in this corner
Sat 23.3.02 (Spring Harvest Day 1)
lej26: I like the fact that Jesus was a black woman
lej26: I like my family - they do not make me exhausted and weary, except for sometimes
lej26: Haven't you ever been on the toilet and done a really large cowpat and felt really calm? - zcl21: You may do cow-pats, Lucy, but Alex is male and human...
mag32: Are Giant Squid responsible? - gaec2: My answer has to be yes!
mpj23: The 1980s, well I can't remember them being very animated, but that's probably because I just wasn't paying attention
mpj23: If it can be boiled, it's not hostile?
gaec2: Hello Rich. I'm standing over you. Clutching an orange. - rjh61: I have nightmares like that...
awr25: I'll sleep with anyone
gaec2: Oh my goodness! - acr33: What? - gaec2: The pink and white paint. - acr33: What pink and white paint - oh my goodness!
acr33: You'll have to tell me when to stop driving, or else I'll just drive off the edge of the world and be hooked by the toenail of a giant turtle
gaec2: Some people can do very clever things with string that nobody else can do
gaec2: You're the one who needs to sleep more than me - acr33: Yeah. Never mind, it only happens once a term.
acr33: Ohhh, I wish I could do physics as a result of having a long fourth finger!
Thu 21.3.02
awr25: Don't worry about being complicated; you drink tea so it is expected...
Wed 20.3.02
adr26: It is with great dismay that I reveal to the world that CompScis are in fact occasionally up before 9am and need to eat breakfast, the same as normal human beings.
mag32: I can't follow two conversations at once. The mattress one was quite entertaining.
sl236: If you're going to make a computer interface, make a computer interface. If you're going to make a rubber woman, make a rubber woman. Don't mix the two!
jsn23: I remember trying to kill Serge a few times - sl236: It usually failed. [Only "usually", Serge?!?]
Tue 19.3.02
mpn: I have a dorsal fin.
mpj23: Dying hurts my shoulder!
acr33: I'm not putting my wife on display for all to see! She's not a trophy wife, you know!
mpj23: Alex, where did you buy your Nagi phrasebook?! - gaec2: From Dungeon Keeper Two...
+gaec2: Milan, your name is not Milan - [in sudden realisation] oh, yes it is...
mpj23: I am being picked up and stuffed bodily into the computer. [Alex reaches for the quotes machine] ...And into the Nokia, I see...
Mon 18.3.02
mpj23: Alex, you should stop sellotaping your girlfriend's legs together.
sl236: You're sounding very... Ecclesiastes-like... - acr33: I've probably had too much to drink.
akh23: I don't think you should be intimidated - I'm terrified...
jsn23: Okay, thanks to my right hand I'm a bloke.
acr33: Well we'll just stay in and eat chocolate penises by ourselves then!
jsn23: Corking, ironically, means oxidising the wine, not dropping a cork in it
acr33: Excuse me... she says reaching over somebody who doesn't exist.
jmdp2: That is a serious mushroom. To the extent that I thought it was a pizza.
gaec2: My noise was deliberately chosen to avoid syllables that can... be... quo...ted...
Sun 17.3.02
lej26: "I lost my virginity to a mannekin"
acr33: If [Morag] gets her hands on broccoli...? - lej26: She *will* show it to you. And *then* you will understand.
gaec2: Heat is fish and fish is work...
zcl21: PS: My spelling hasn't improved. Have some Swedish letters in recompense.
Sat 16.3.02
mpj23: I'm farming for chalk in the middle of the Bristol Channel! [He was talking about the LondonUnderground stop "Chalk Farm" in an accent half-way between "South-Western farmer" and Welsh. See, it does make sense... sortof...]
mpj23: I know that we're the same person, Alex, but getting us confused is really stupid!
mpj23: I am a flibbling phoning idiot, and proud of it!
gaec2: I'm sitting in a room full of Darth Vaders!!
lej26: Can me and Pile have a little Serge next to me?
lej26: There's hundreds of bodies in the 6 Adams garden. There's about three of mine...
lej26: So if you see Alex wandering round with his T-shirt over his head, Jenny, you'll know it's perfectly normal
gaec2: Yes, the entire world is in fact focused on trousers...
Fri 15.3.02
sdm29: How do you get any work done if you don't have exams at the end of it?
[misheard by mjcp2] jrg31: What colour is my dream before they put colouring in? [Actually: What colour is margarine...]
sophie: Lucy used to steal from the bank... - lej26: Well, that's what they're there for!
Thu 14.3.02
dgs26: Anyone who doesn't know what I'm talking about should try encasing themselves in www. and .com
zuza: Oh, my drink's disappeared - andrew: It hasn't disappeared, you just drank it!
andrew: If you asked me now, I couldn't tell you the texture of a jellybaby in 1955
gaec2: As an 8-year-old, I wasn't particularly looking for university-level material
lej26: I wasn't listening to the first half of your sentence. I was choosing to ignore it. Why do I always have to spell out my hermeneutical assumptions to everybody?
ads45: I got an email from my supervision partner and he signed it Elrond the Duck. Which was faintly alarming. I was more alarmed that I had a supervision in ten minutes, though, and I hadn't done any work for it
aks27: Call me whatever you like, as long as it's not Fred - ads45: Okay. So if you can do that, then, Hezekiah...
[D aethd2] gaec2: Angela [Ditchfield]'s good at contacting people - [knowing grins run round the room]
ads45: Only in Cambridge is May in June. And I don't think June means May.
Wed 13.3.02
rja29: But what shell script will you replace me with, Serge?
dave: He wanted a girlfriend. He got a kettle.
Tue 12.3.02
a sysadmin: OK, so the sysadmin notion of "early in the morning" may not be the conventional one...
gaec2: But my ears aren't made... of... almonds...
sdm29: What were you doing in Alaska with yellow plastic on?
jrg31: I'm going to try beating my head against this horse!
sdm29: He is knee-deep in a scanner protocol?!
gaec2: I think I'd get on with this guy - he puts quotable quotes in his cereal - mpj23: Quote!
sdm29: You always want Australia, even if you don't want Australia
aig20: Gingerbread people of indeterminate gender! Gingerbread androgynes...
Mon 11.3.02
pjs35 [with kettle and teabag in hand, and not being sarcastic]: Now how do I make tea?
jrg31: My pillow went away! - sdm29: Well you moved off it, so it moved... - jrg31: Well that's not a very well-trained pillow, is it?
Sun 10.3.02
sdm29: Anywhere with more than 100 people per washing machine is silly
jrg31: I'm feeling very attacked... I'm being told I have an infertile stomach and soil in my head!
[misheard by mjcp2] sdm29: If you eat apple pips then cheese grows out of your head [Actually: trees grow out of your head]
dah43: *gasps* Oh! ... I was just thinking "Where's my bike lock?", but then I realised it's on my bike...
ads45: "If everyone lived in America, the world would be fine"
ads45: Me and my brother periodically write Shakespeare plays
ads45: The Trinity is a power series
[misheard by sdm29] jrg31: I saw some heads in the library today [Actually: I saw Heather in the library]
Sat 9.3.02
mjcp2: You thought you were an egg? - gaec2: Just because I thought I was white and yellow doesn't mean I thought I was an egg.
nok16: Broccoli~nyo! Gureitu Biggu Buroccoli~nyo!
jsn23: You can't eat me - you've got a plate in front of you! - awr25: Why not? - jsn23: I *hope* you can't eat me, you've got a plate in front of you... - mpj23: What's this - "proof by hope"? "Proof by wishful thinking"?
jsn23: We're whacking each other with sausages. This is bad.
mpj23: I'm not black gloopy stuff that I made in a Chemistry experiment
mpj23: Pittabread becomes a deadly weapon in Nagi's hands! - aig20: *Anything* is a deadly weapon in Nagi's hands! - pjs35: Is Nagi a deadly weapon in his own hands?
mpj23 to pjs35: You don't have to apologise when I, in my idiocy, elbow your glass of apple juice!
gaec2: Once a userid, always a userid...
aig20: Where you'd put a handle on a cherry beggars belief...
sl236: Right. The entire world is in fact running in Perl...
acr33: How old are you? - jsn23: 23. - acr33: Is that all? - jsn23: What, you expect me to be 50? - acr33: Yes! - jsn23: Well, give me 25 years - then I'll be closer...
sl236: Cambridge. Anywhere else you get pictures of genitals on the board. Here you get scalar products...
Thu 7.3.02
andrew: Men are women. Just slightly different.
awr25: The only way I know of making people hurry up is to either badger them or eat them
gaec2: An infinite amount of Squirrels that think they're Earthworms...
mtf22: Not that I'm saying Switzerland is like a cauliflower, but that's just one of those slight approximations which physicists make all the time
Wed 6.3.02
james: Is a pinball flipper a conventional definition of floating?
james: I've never been offered ridiculous amounts of money to do nothing
Tue 5.3.02
mtf22: I wonder when was the last time someone came to formal hall with two landline telephones?
dgs26: Shut down your machines, disconnect them from the network and hide them in the back of a garage... Chances are, they'll still be hacked -.-
Mon 4.3.02
aig20: Etch-A-Sketch Barbarians!
jos: Have you considered kneepads? - phil: On my head?! What kind of stupid question is that?
[misheard by mpj23] gaec2: I hope she's not feeding you to new shoes... - rja29: But you shouldn't put old feet into new shoes - gaec2: So should I pray for new feet...?
Sat 2.3.02
aig20: I'm not sure how far I'd like to go along the logic circuits of a bacteria
gaec2: "Three strands of cord cannot be easily torn" - acr33: They can with a big knife!
lej26: I don't want you to get rid of your cosmic teddybear image. I just want you to accept there's some leadership there...
lej26: She said "You just disagree with *everything*!" I said, "That's because everything you say is stupid!"
lej26: I'm a supercessionist tart who wants to colonise the Old Testament
~acr33: Hmm, [a certain theological point] is quite a complex issue... - mpj23: It has real and imaginary parts?!
mpj23: It was all OK until the indestructible cats started appearing - aig29: I think Morag would have a field day with indestructible cats
rja29: Does he make strange bumping noises when he hits the ceiling?
Fri 1.3.01
sdm29: He definitely has a rug on his chest - it's definitely porn!
acr33: I still don't know why you have two cows on your wall - sdm29: Because having one would be silly, and three would be just way out there
gaec2: Mounting a horse isn't a symbol of virility to appeal to women! - kbc22: But neither is a big cannon!
kbc22: Innocent funny-coloured things lose their lives if you fight!
~sdm29: If I die there, I'm dead!
jep32: God does not want to say to you today, "I am a chicken!"
lecturer: Assume the horse is a sphere...
Thu 28.2.02
acr33: You were just floating around - sdm29: Yes, I frequently levitate late at night
sdm29: That was just sleepiness, that's not proper tiredness
gaec2: I'm going to get my phone - acr33: Aww - but I haven't tied you up yet!
acr33: It ought to begin with F E L... like Joy
Wed 27.2.02
dr105: There's one very straightforward way to ensure you beat Arnold Schwarzenegger in a fight: be thirteen, cute and female. - gaec2: You find this very straightforward, do you, Douglas??
jsn23: Gives a whole new meaning to "computer porn"... Hey, look at all those naked PCBs!
unknown: I just realised that a floppy disk is root-2 of a compact disc. This has deep crystallographic significance!
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