[Home]NokkyQuotes/January2003

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Rating system in use.  Please feel free to browse these quotes from the [Edit] page rather than normal viewing.  If there are quotes you feel are particularly good, prepend a star symbol to the start of them by typing Image:46 in the editor.  If there are quotes you feel are particularly bad, prepend a ~ symbol.  Those with several stars will at some point be collected to form a Best Of.  Those with several ~s may at some point be removed.  Please don't cancel the symbols out: something with "Image: 46 ~~ Image: 46" is more informative than if it had no markings.

Fri31.1.03


rob's boss to rob: I'm afraid you're going to have to be a gnome.

angela: It's not a tail. I actually think it's a cigarette.
[Regarding the letter Q...]

Wed29.1.03


mike: It doesn't take much area to crush a jellybaby...
- nagi: But you can crush more than one jellybaby with your feet! Many will die!

nagi: Will someone tell me what postmodernism is?
- dave: Fish.

Image: 46 alex: Mike's going to start inserting random words of gibberish into his sentences just to stop me quoting them.
- mike: Start?

mike to alex: Are you ever glad that yawns can't be quoted?

dave: It's absolutely realistic - if you get shot, you die

alan: It's a pity Belly can't gobble sin, isn't it?

Tue28.1.03


sally: Can I have red-green colourblindness for my next turn?

Image: 46 angela: Peter, tell us - who is your secret admirer?
- peter: It's the office...

jon b [giving a presentation]: This is an interesting graph... believe it or not

alex: The muscles on that cake are truly scary

Mon27.1.03


mike: I don't think rain is subject to sinful desire and rebellion

alex: We could make some Red Leicester. Out of plastic and cupcakes.
- dave: We could. But it wouldn't have the same texture. Or taste. Or edibility!

mike to alex: Why are you pointing to your belly and giggling?

Image: 46 mike: Would a spherical Nagi in a vacuum stop any more dust being taken in?
- dave: Only by the Nagi.

alex [trying to describe a character from SlayersSeries]: What's his name. Gourry. Thick bloke. Who I'm modelled on. What?

Image: 46 mike: The default assumption when talking about eels is that they are not made of sugar...

Image: 46 mike: Alex, can you die without destroying my knees, please?

~ dave: I am Eel! Squirm, squirm, squirm...

Image: 46 alex: If they went out for a night on the town - you know the way desk legs do.

mike: I suppose technically [the Japanese] could leave a seven-foot mech in their shower.

mike to alex: It surprises you when you see Japanese people and they *don't* have blue hair?

~ alex: It is a left hand I have spare.

alex: Presumably the electronic guys are electronic. Due to being electronic. And so... presumably... they use... organic computers. And so they're attuned to... cries for help from organic things... due to being used to them from their programs!

alex: Presumably "theons" are the elementary particles of theology?

rob: Even without onions, hands are too crunchy to go with cakes.

Sun26.1.03


robert: It could be a strategy game, where you play the Virgin [Mary], and you're trying to increase your cult through the centuries...

Image: 46 catriona: I have a criminal mastermind identical twin - it's just she's not a very *good* criminal, so she can only commit minor traffic offences at the moment

Sat25.1.03


Image: 46 angela to lucy: Aaaagh! - I mean - happy birthday!

serge [grinning]: What you don't realise is that if you stare *through* the page... Glasgow maps to West Hampstead! So you can take a wormhole...

alex [intently studying a Tube map, rather disappointed voice]: I'm not seeing any cheeses...

alex: Douglas has officially confirmed that I am not an ex-parrot.

serge: You are in a maze of twisted little sofa legs, all alike.

You are in a maze of twisty little sofa legs, all alike.
> N
You are in a maze of twisty little sofa legs, all alike.
> E
You are in a maze of twisty little sofa legs, all alike.
There is a dwarf here.
> SAY HELLO
You are in a maze of twisty little sofa legs, all alike.
There is a dwarf here.
The dwarf says: "Hello."
The dwarf hits you.
> HIT DWARF
With what?
> HIT DWARF WITH SOFA LEG
You are in a maze of twisty little sofa legs, all alike.
There is a dwarf here.
The dwarf dodges the twisty little sofa leg.
The dwarf hits you.
The dwarf hits you.
The dwarf eats your left elbow.
> EAT DWARF
You have no cutlery!
You are in a maze of twisty little sofa legs, all alike.
There is a dwarf here.
The dwarf stabs you with a serving spoon.
You die.
> NO, I DON'T.
Yes, you do.
> I'M NOT DEAD. I'M JUST RESTING.
The dwarf steals your equipment from your corpse.
> PINE FOR FJORDS
The sofa legs are made of oak, not pine.
A man comes round with a cart.
> MOVE LEG
That was the dwarf jogging your corpse.
The man with the cart says, "Bring out your dead!"
> I FEEL HAPPY
The dwarf loads you onto the cart.
> SAY XYZZY
You are in a cheese shop.
> GET CHEESE
What cheese?
> WENSLEYDALE
The dwarf ate all the Wensleydale last Tuesday.
> RED LEICESTER
What do you want to do with the Red Leicester?
> GET RED LEICESTER
How much Red Leicester?
> 12 OUNCES
12 ounces of what?
> GET 12 OUNCES OF RED LEICESTER
You can't do that.

Mornington Crescent.



Image: 46 mike: Sock-reading - an obscure occupation practiced only by a couple of remote tribes of Gypsies who abstain from caffeine.
- [incredulous look from alex]
- mike: So they don't have any tea-leaves...!

mike: Douglas catalyses the growth of the letter "I"

morag: To be honest, ants with machines don't scare me to the same degree as people with little machine guns.

Image: 46  dave: Isn't this just a small game of Go?
- morag: No, because Go pieces don't go "Pzzyow-pyzyoooo-pyzow-kerBRPRSH!"
- nagi: They do in my world!

Thu23.1.03


Image: 46 zoë: Think hamster sized spherical sheep, but without separate heads.

~ mike: How to grate cheese and prevent saucepan damage at the same time. One of life's great mysteries!

tom yates: "How long does a piece of string become in the next twelve months" - this is a difficult question to answer

Wed22.1.03


Image: 46 alan: One could make an awful lot of flimsy but nevertheless strong points at once with hair...

mike: Apart from coffeefied?
- alan: Is there any other definition of compsci?

Tue21.1.03


chris: You don't need tradeship for a carbon... cardship for a trabon... carbon for a tradeship.

stuart: Why is emailing your brain to yourself a good concept?
- ed: Goodness me! A politician with three nostrils!

nagi: I feel like a spider in a bathtub, I have so much space around me

chris: This ship is heading in a mottled direction

alex: I'll teach you how to make friends with aliens in a minute

angela: We will find out.
- milan: No you won't.
- alex: Everything that is hidden shall be brought to light...
- milan: No it won't!
- angela: I shall find out!
- milan: No you won't.
- angela: I want to find out!
- milan: I'm afraid that you will...

Mon20.1.03


alex: That's a good concept - emailing my brain to myself

mike: You wouldn't be able to watch episodes of anime on Nokky with a TV welded to your face.

alex: Watching a barrel teleport must be interesting

mike to alex: Why can't you create a new verb, to gloves?

Image: 46 mike: Why have I lost all my clothes?

alex: Maybe "under a cafetière" is a manger in breadcrumb terms.

~ mike: What happens if you cross set theory with monsters from myth?

mike [suggesting a road sign]: "Beware of blobs of orange juice"?
- alex: Well, that's something it's a good idea to recommend drivers to beware of anyway...

Sun19.1.03


Image: 46 anna: I feel a need for an Early Learning Centre cow and an Early Learning Centre sheep to appear

mike: Define "normal" in the context of a discussion about what kind of cheese the moon is made of.

Sat18.1.03


matthew w: I big sister, you big sisters, he big sisters

stephen: "Ely Indoor Cathedral and Ice Rink"
- angela: Cool, I want to visit it!

stephen: Sainsbury's is... the End of the World!

helen rayner: If only the Lord was a PlayStation, I would be fine...

~ mike: I'm not *paying* for any. Not for logic.

~ alex: [Angela] is probably quite glad that I don't run away from everyone who isn't Susan and Matthew

susan: The idea of reindeers climbing up with side of a house is...
- matthew: It's fairly usual!

sally [requesting]: Susan, can you have a birthday every year?

~ alex: I could do with a bowl to keep my fingers in

susan: You just have to think about me and everything else pales into insignificance

[waitress tips contents of a plate on floor next to alex, with much clanging]
- alex: It's OK, I'm used to have metal spiky things rain down around my ears
- waitress: I won't ask what kind of life you lead!

sanjay: I don't normally say, "Poor Bob, he's dead now"

alex: This is great - people come along and give me cheese! I can cope with this!

jeremy: I'm a non practising terrorist.

Fri17.1.03


rob: They are like corpses that have the full status of Fellows

Image: 46 mike: Could you get this sheep to stop sneezing on my email, please?

angela to nagi, re alex: Oi, don't abuse him, I want to marry him!

serge: We have pretty much infinite amounts of baked beans and cheese

zoë: Soon you'll be dreaming about sheep
- alan: Well, I do dream about Nagi...

Thu16.1.03


lydia: It cleared all feelings of all broodiness I ever had, you know, this concept of responsibility...

peter [after an evening themed on fruit]: I reckon you must all be fed up of food puns by now... well, tough! For your "appetiser"...

alan: Some of us don't have bedders; we have Nagi.

Image: 46 alex: Why do you have a custom-made banana-hanging-device on your desk?
- edric: They sell them in Tesco's. How else would you store your bananas?
- alex: Well, fair enough... It's incredibly cool, I was just wondering who makes banana-hanging-devices. And Tesco's do. Fair enough.

~ matthew f: I think all physicists have strange hours...

Wed15.1.03


adam: Ah, well, God will work everything out in His sovereign plan...
- chiin: Adam, what have you done now??

mike: I feel I should be concerned that Nagi finds fondling my head therapeutic

morag: We could have sado-masochism, or we could have Marks and Spencers.

dave: Where in France are you from?
- yves: Paris, nowhere very original...

alan: At least getting a call from my teddy bears is remotely normal... getting a call from Barbie is just weird.

Tue14.1.03


douglas: There are still some members of the Conservative Party under 50. I know both of them.

sally: Oh no, I've used pogo sticks before it got to Abby!

alex: "I tried to synthesise a mouse, and it didn't work!"

Sun11.1.03


Image: 46 alex: I like space-filling tasks.
- angela: This is good, because you'll be spending the rest of your life with me... and I have lots of stuff!

alex: It's a while since I've heard anyone say at church "Or you might get killed!"

Sat10.1.03


rob: My Nagi emulator isn't working properly yet.

Image: 46 rob: We borrow the future from our children... [thoughtfully, working it out] ...therefore... we borrow their beards.

alex: Rob's growing a beard in an attempt to stave off turning into Nokky!

mike: Nokky's turning into Alex: he's getting taller and hairier

mike: Even when sautéed, the Empire State Building is not food, Alex!

mike to rob: You're going to lead Alan astray by cloning cows?

Image: 46 alex: The players have to be in a different dimension to the board.

alex: It's such a drag when your bike breaks down in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

rob: I need some volunteers for my new cemetery...

Fri9.1.03


matthew f: I don't think that kind of chimney has cows.

Thu8.1.03 (Flying back across the Pond)


peter m: We can fit seven people in my car if four of them lie on the back seat

john t: Nah, don't get me a drink - I like to eat after my meal anyway.

Wed7.1.03


matt sexton: It doesn't cause problems - it's only when we try to use it that it causes problems

Tue6.1.03


~ melissa: I spent all my money on toothpaste

greg w [giving a training course]: If I were to pick your PC up and throw it out the window and set it on fire, your data will

be lost

Sat4.1.03 (I can fly! Nokky crosses the Pond)



Fri3.1.03


zoe: Didn't you know I was a neutrino once?  In my fourth year, just before my exams.  I was yellow.

susan: Susan and Alex, the...
- alex: Amazing Pair of Simultaneous Sheep!

Wed1.1.03


Image: 46 Image: 46 tim: So what are you two doing tomorrow? Are you flying to Newcastle?
- chris: Well, it's still up in the air

di: I do like being able to knock down kitchens and tear down walls



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