ec2-3-144-202-167.us-east-2.compute.amazonaws.com | ToothyWiki | NokkyQuotes | RecentChanges | Login | Webcomic ( Back to /November2002 )( Up to NokkyQuotes )( Forward to /January2003 ) Rating system in use. Please feel free to browse these quotes from the [Edit] page rather than normal viewing. If there are quotes you feel are particularly good, prepend a star symbol to the start of them by typing Image:46 in the editor. If there are quotes you feel are particularly bad, prepend a ~ symbol. Those with several stars will at some point be collected to form a Best Of. Those with several ~s may at some point be removed. Please don't cancel the symbols out: something with " ~~ " is more informative than if it had no markings.
Sat28.12.02
(This quote was retained in MikeJeggo's memory and thus not lost for posterity when Nokky threw a wobbler.)
will jeggo: If you injected a fish directly into your blood stream, you might die.
Mon16.12.02
~ alex: They didn't used to leave their heads on the driving seat.
mike: I'm even more scared of the psychedelically multi-coloured cat - alex: Did you never have one as a best friend?
~ alex: I spent far too long last night sawing up a large cardboard tube.
alex: But surely any road which has me on would by virtue of that fact be abnormal
dave to mike holding an iron: It's a kettle! You're using a steam kettle to iron clothes?
~ alex to mike: Does your monitor ever feel threatened by this wardrobe door?
~ dave to alex: You're turning into an old lady there - stop it!
alex: I don't get hunted with horns when *I* go home
~ dave: I always get through a lot of liquid while drinking
alex: I don't expect raspberry jam to have mangoes in it. - dave: Or fish? - alex: I do expect it to have fish in. But that's because I expect everything to have fish in it.
Sun15.12.02
alex: Right, now we've got a cardboard box, how do we put a cow in it?
mike: There's something immensely scary about the prospect of Zippy narrating a wildlife documentary
mike: The quotes are evolving? Scary. - alex: Ooh yeah. You don't want to see what happens when they get opposable thumbs.
alex: Ooh, now that's a tough call. Which is scarier: singing hamsters, or a being a sixth year student?
alex: That would be labouring the point. - mike: Is that the same as stretching it? - alex: Well, labour often leaves stretch marks, so I guess so. So what happens when a point gives birth?
alex: Neither of us could have... forgotten it for both of us... on our own
alex: If any chicken wants to fly along bringing us a DVD player, we wouldn't say no
mike: I am Sanity S, Impersonated! ...Um... I mean Entropy!
~ mike: Only an advertising executive could think of speculating on the sex life of a microwave
mike: MillRoad not having a ceiling may hinder my getting home
alex: d(Helium-filled nuclear mushrooms)/dt > 0
~ serge: The amazing crinoline of doom! - dave: Three-and-a-half hours to put your clothes on, three-and-a-half hours to take them off again...
alex: The border between carpet and wall-hanging is not very well-defined - mike: Yes it is, it's called the skirting board!
person next to nokky in restaurant: I don't believe in privet.
dave: I seem to be very irritated by the fact that I've never got given a grant for writing poetry with sheep
bartow re mike: You can see that now he plays a real trombone, when he started out with an apple, an orange and a piece of string.
sally to susan: Of course you're part of my life. Just not when I'm wearing a dressing gown.
angela: Stop making me embarrassed and making me feel bad. Or you will burn in hell. With a big marshmallow stick.
Sat14.12.02
alex to morag: You've got a diploma in destroying the place? - morag: Yes! - jud: I thought you had a diploma in computer science? - morag: They're the same thing!!
Fri13.12.02
mike: I believe at least 50% of international students are from overseas
Thu12.12.02
hazel: I try to keep my sugar count down to one... *big*... bar of chocolate per day
Wed11.12.02
matthew b: Because the landlords are getting annoyed with us, it's even harder to ask "Can we destroy these wardrobes"...
~ tom: I assumed [Alex] was passing me a false moustache
tom: Anyone feeling the urge to dissolve? - alex: Frequently...
[sounds of alex receiving an SMS] - alex to mike: I have an SMS. [sudden look of surprise] ...What?! It's not from you?! It's not you sending me an quote by SMS! [looks at SMS] [stops looking surprised] ...It's Alan sending me a quote by SMS.
dave: Giant space acne. Cool! I want giant space acne.
~~ dave: You have insulted my family. And now you will eat my shorts!
tish: MATLAB can be all things to all people... including a dating service! [Context: Adding mathematical functions to handle single-precision numbers... so the question was of "Making the DATE and BAR functions support Singles"]
Old recovered quotes from March 2002
dan holt: It's hard to do time-independent partition functions as to the Lord.
zoë: That clock's definitely slow. - chris watkin: Yes, but if it were a bit further round it'd be alright...
ben: My brain is a jumble of spliced network connections.
Tue10.12.02
~ morag: There's a voice-changing cross-dresser. - nagi: Who is clearly me!
[W] moonshadow: "Targe" means: A Target that's been shot on the right-hand side. The archer then picked up the T that dropped off and glued it over the left end of a Barge.
alex: We build a University out of lots of paper. - ant: You could build a University out of "Call Waiting" sounds...
richard a: My best friend at university was a cup of green coffee named Albert. ...Hey, don't laugh - he's coming to visit!
Mon9.12.02
alex to angela: You're just confusing, not irritating - morag: That's what women are meant to be like
guy: Rubber doesn't tend to have many nerve endings in it, though
guy: I don't think even an elephant could beat scissors
lucy: What are they into, Quakers, except cross-dressing?
angela to lucy: How are you going to distinguish between your kid and your futon? - lucy: Well, I might call the kid Chad and the futon Neb... [Yes, she is planning to call them both Nebuchadnezzar... ]]
~~ angela: So, logically, my essay should self-destruct!
rob: Hello Mike, would you like a cup of coffee? Or some non-caffeinated substitute, such as water?
~ alan: An autistic stapler? I haven't met one of those before. At least not that I've noticed.....
Sun8.12.02
~~ alex: My ears are made... of rubber.
alex: I'll have to go on a crusade across the world for the purification of Galois theory - angela: Well, if you meet the eighth dwarf, Lumpy...
stephen: Why would anyone want to enlarge their gall bladder three inches? Why would Galois theory do that?? How do you put Galois theory into a pill?!?
stephen: Being edible and making you violently ill aren't exactly the same thing [Overall, I think this is fortunate...]
~ angela: I meant to say "Oh" instead of "Pd"
~ angela: Stephen speaks in typos!
mike: I'm sure I can think up infinite ways to be weird!
rob: Mike, you have power. - mike: No not really....or have you not studied the inter-personal dynamics of bikes.
mike: Zoë has not yet worked out how to stand on my toes in 4 dimensions. [I'm sure it won't be long...]
rob: I shall make you pedal for my internet access!
rob: Why shouldn't I torment Zoë on her birthday? It'd be a nice present for her!
rob: [clutching a bike dynamo, makes shooting noises] - mike: [patiently] It's a dynamo, not a phaser, Rob - rob: Er, well... you know, did you wonder why it stopped working on Zoë's bike...?
~~ rob: *brandishing tyre lever* Muuhaha! I shall change your inner tube!
rob: What goes down must come up. If it's springy.
rob: Well, Zoë hasn't attacked me yet, so I feel I haven't provoked her enough yet.
~ rob: *sung* Who needs, a wiki-mart! [A reference to The Simpsons]
rob: You're quoting me out of context Mike! [realises] Oh...
rob: Waah! This coffee is made from 70% recycled glass!
mike: Well, I wouldn't have thought any mutant plant would eat itself.
~~ rob: Well, some people are addicted to smirking.
Sat7.12.02
~ peter: I don't suppose there's much of a market for large solid plastic spheres
mike: A genetically modified mutant sheep, about five times the size of the people! - alex: Well, all good fiction needs one, really...
mike: There should be a five pound fine for... - alex: Asking for payment in an insufficiently sheepish manner?
mike: While I can understand why you'd think I was talking about purple sheep, on this occasion I did in fact mean something sensible
mike: How come Nokky doesn't get hot and vibrate when his alter ego is brought too close to him?
alex: I don't think Robinson washing machines would wash armour
zoë: Have you heard about Nia's experiments with squealing jellybabies?
anne: So did you put them back in the fridge, or did you put them back in the fridge? - andrew: Well I nibbled at them a bit, and then there were none left, so I didn't put them in the fridge, no...
Fri6.12.02
alan to mike: Are you implying that I am wide awake, not dreaming about things which aren't paperclips that are not flying? Don't be silly!
alan: Well judging from the taste McDonalds coffee may in fact have a mind of its own
zoë: No we're not supervisors... we're just irritants.
Thu5.12.02
steve: Often I can't find things like a pen, to sign up for things. - elaine: Well, you can always email the [church] office... - steve: ...And they'll email you a pen.
Wed4.12.02
~ mike: I don't just *always* randomly torment Zoë
~~ rob: Oh no, my face is going mouldy!
mike: It looks like David Attenborough is evolving into Kermit the frog.
rob: I have a safety feature. *produces packet of batteries* I eat these and I become safe...
~ serge: I just thought I'd show Rob where the key was before he hacked the door down
[misheard by rob] nagi: I was sparring with a guy who was 46 inches taller than me. [Actually: 4 to 6 inches]
morag: I've got a mental image of a number 4 now, tied up with tinsel to a bed [Calling all ToothyWikizens: This needs drawing. Do so. Then upload it to the [ImageServer].]
alan: At this point Nagi would add another dimension. - mike: Is that what mathmos do when things don't make sense? - alan: Yes.
~ mike to alan: How has this happened - we've almost cooked lunch and neither of us has said anything quotable!
alan: This is red, isn't it? It looks like it. Actually, it's black.
Tue3.12.02
tom: I don't believe your family have ever invented flight - jon amery: I don't believe either of the Wright brothers has ever been pregnant!
ed: What disease would you get if you smoked an ingrowing toenail?
stuart: I sincerely doubt that Tom considers "meep" adorable - tom: You'd be surprised...
alex: It must have been someone else. Whose love life involved mirrors and rotating.
tom: Going to school is synonymous with those zombie movies.
mike: Brad Pitt has a population of one!
sarah: I think morgues are quite principled
mike: Tony Blair... - senji: New Labour, new danger. - mike: ...Discovering America... - senji: New Columbus, new danger. - mike: ...Antarctica... - senji: New freezer, new danger? - mike: and Hairballs. - tom: New hairballs, new danger.
mike: Japan has the advantage of millions of people. - tom: And not having Cindy Crawford.
senji: Black holes are sexy in the same way as hilbert spaces.
alex: Dainty, tender and elegant. Have you seen elephants?
senji: A meteorite. Not known for hilarity.
stuart: I won't cycle a Krosan Tusker [big green beast]. Tempting thought it might be. - chris: Where would you put the pedals?
nagi: It's not quite intercontinental because it hasn't left the bloody table yet
alex to jenny: You were shouting "Plasta Plasta Pasta!" while people were walking past [She was!]
jenny: There's nothing wrong with having lots of laughs. It's better than not having any.
morag: Sorry I'm a little bit odd...er, I mean late [...] - mike: I think I ought to send that to Nokky. - morag: No, because I don't think I should need to apologise for being odd.
matthew f: I use pico for small-scale editing, of the order 10^ -12...
Mon2.12.02
alex: I'm going to go now - dave: Before Mike starts bubbling...
~ mike: Nokky has an endless appetite. - alex: Nokky and Belly *do* have certain similarities...
dave: Black jellybabies. Black and evil. - alex: Like my trousers.
~ alex: "I am a growing robot"
anime character: You've got to have guts to win this fight! - mike: A titanium cat would help as well.
mike: Yes, I have a rabbit burrowing into my chest, except it isn't, because it's a hare, and they don't burrow
dave: You never see me in a white shirt - mike: Unless you're playing a female animé character
alex: You told me to defend myself. - mike: I didn't tell you to do it *successfully*...
tish: Radio-transmitting toddlers, eek... [...] alex: You can presumeably guess the context, but it's still quite cool. - mike: *still blank, panicky look*
Sun1.12.02 (Alex meets Tim from America)
alan re a rope hanging from the ceiling whose purpose we had been debating: If the pub started moving like a tube train, you could hang onto it to stop yourself falling over.
matt f: ...So you get all these indians worshipping this nan bread. - alan: Well, it is food, so what do you expect?
alex: So you understand why I was mooing? - angela: No! I'll never understand you mooing. The day I understand you moo, I will worry.
alan: Someone could be getting married to a rubber shark and carrying a bride for effect....
mike: He could make some up - alan: But that would be plagiarism!
~~ alan: People have driven me around the wall about cows before.
~ mike: What's the betting that as soon as I send this SMS someone makes another quote? - alan: Do you really want to know the answer to that? - mike: Yes! - alan: Erm...
alex: How cool - you climb up to the top of a remote mountain *in order* to check your email!
~~ rich: I don't need pudding. - josie: It's not a question of *needing*... this is pudding!!
josie: After talking to my supervisor, we began to wonder if it was just the nouns who were on drugs
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