NokkyQuotes/June2003

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symbol to the start of them. If there are quotes you feel are particularly bad, prepend a ~ symbol or

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s will at some point be collected to form a Best Of. Those with several ~s may at some point be removed. Please don't cancel the symbols out: something with "

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Mon30.6.03

mike to alex: Did you ever have a computer which can activate the Death Star?

Sun29.6.03

steve: That's a heavy tray, Kate.
- kate: Yes, I realised that after I hit myself with it...

kate: Dad, you're about to launch into a Seventies boogie...
- steve: Am I? You're not supposed to tell me...

Sat28.6.03

peter [hurling a dwarf in a self-sacrificial attack on a troll]: I may be selecting the wrong Japanese word here, but - kawaii!

Thu26.6.03 (Final cell for 3 ladies)

lydia: They're stitching up my shoulder. Cause I've torn a bit.
- steph: Oh, that's nice! [people turn and look at her] Well, I used to do that to my teddies...

alex to peter: So I dispute your claim that you can suggest that Nokkette sits on JellyBabies!

Wed25.6.03

mike: Thank you for the book you gave me for my birthday!
- morag: Yes it's good, isn't it? Um... which one was it?

morag to rob: Using your shoe as a rubbish bin and a phone pocket?

Tue24.6.03

alan r: I can make desert.. that's easy... the recipe is: x grams A, gas mark 9, 6 hours. x is any number. A is any substance.

: Is the single s in desert here intentional? The quote makes more sense that way, but that shouldn't be a guide of anything...

Mon23.6.03

alex: Hmm, I have a phone and Angela has a church... what does this say about us, I wonder?

alex: Dave, can I have a lighter? Mike appears to be requesting I set fire to him, and then give him chocolate...

mike: "Roll up, roll up! Get your cute alien squirrels here!"

dave: Apparently Tilbury used to be a battery for defending the Thames
- alex: What, they dip the two electrical contacts into the water when invaders wade through it?

: This was something along the lines of the strategy envisioned by David Jeffrey, when he started my quotes collection by saying to me "Why don't they make a battleship out of a huge toaster?" --SF

Sun22.6.0.3

[Context: the Fourier transform of a chocolate bar]

zoë: So what would you say is the typical frequency of a chocolate bar, Alex?
- alex: Knowing some ladies I do, about 4 a day...

zoë: I'm going to go to bed soon, because I'd quite like to be human tomorrow
- [alex and mike exchange glances and grin]
- mike: ...The answer, Alex, is a sheep...

Sat21.6.03

lynette jeggo: So who's going to do that then?
- chris: You can.
- lynette: Why me?
- chris: Because you're so much better at these things.
- lynette: Are you sure it isn't just because you're lazy?
- chris: No.
- lynette: Pardon?
- chris: Yes.
- lynette: See, I knew you'd know the right answer if you thought about it long enough.

alex: "Yes, Mike, we tidied two-thirds of your bills into the coal-scuttle and one-third into the washing machine... I hope that's OK..."

mike: I thought you were going to say that bedders were sheep crossed with oranges

Fri20.6.03 (The Games emigrate from Robinson)

jenny: You don't trust me?
- stephen: Not with chainsaws! Ow!

Thu19.6.03

mike: Alex never encouraged you to talk to cows.
- alan: But cows are sane!
- mike: Alex's isn't.
- alan: But do you see cows on a bridge over the M11 at night with green lightsabres?

Wed18.6.03

alex: I've never compared Rob to a roadblock before

mike to alex: Yes, I brought you a Swiss carrot by accident, due to getting you confused with RyoOhki
- alex: Well, I've been called a girl, I've been called an alien, I've been called bouncy, I've declared myself to be a spaceship... so I can see why you might get us confused.... maybe?!

: have just found the below in my inbox that I said at the time ought to be quoted. It is here temporarily pending Alex's... er, I mean Nokkette's review

anna b: These neutrons don't get fed, they get hit really hard with protons which makes them so upset that they leave their cosy atoms and zoom down the beamline into our ice, where they get deflected all over the place and then gobbled by the detectors. Maybe the society for neutron rights will break my windows.

Tue17.6.03

peter: I'll be impressed if you could put a well-ordering on all sheep

alex: I was able to kill it at any time, just by turning it into a sheep

alan: As if being taken out by a sheep wasn't bad enough, I'm being taken out by a *dead* sheep!

douglas [spilling a cup of water]: Sugar! Well actually, water!
- alex: Don't mix the two up in a recipe!
- stephen: Unless you're making icing...

dougas: You know as much of the game mechanics as I do; I just have horrible things Louise has done to me in the past to be... frightened by

mike to jo: Well, if you can think of a possible use for the Fourier transform of a chocolate bar, then...

stephen to alex: Cutlery is making a pilgrimage to your house to see what's in your fridge

Mon16.6.03

dave: Mmm, toes!
- alex: My favourite dessert!

mike: So how does one assemble shelves with a Matthew?
- alan: Well, it's easy, you use his head to screw in the screws, and then bash them together with... [stops as inevitability of quotation dawns]

Sat14.6.03

stuart: I don't spend much time wandering the streets of Cambridge when I'd have noticed a giant red illumin... no, I'm not going to finish that sentence...
[He was talking about a giant red illuminated telephone]

Am I allowed to give myself an ? --SF

: By all means; I star quotes made by myself if I find they crack me up more than most quotes :) --AC

stuart: I was absolutely disproving the existence of absolute proof. Which is far too easy to do when you're not thinking...

peter: I tend to trust printed material over things overheard in conversation
- alex: Quote! ...[he starts typing, then pauses]... Why am I quoting this?

abi: Presumably people are allowed to mutilate your corpse
- stuart: Well presumably my corpse is allowed to defend itself!

Thu12.6.03

lydia: First, I will bite off your head! Then, I will bite off your legs! Then I will bite off your arms. Then, I will bite off your necklace. ...And then, I will eat you!

[W] vitenka: Yeesh, what language am I speaking today, martian? [looks at sentence fragment] Gleep-weeble-spork, I am speaking martian! [...] I should owe you an apology for the unintended incomprehensibility of my excessive terseness, but instead I implore you to learn martian.

Tue10.6.03

stuart: Guillotine is at least as amusing as Falling

chris [singing]: Sheep - sheep changes everything...

stuart: I think by the time a sheep has become plasma it's no longer able to be called a sheep

Sun8.6.03

angela: I've got to graduate. I really ought to get round to doing that...

matt f: My Photon is going to have an Electron emulator installed on it.

Sat7.6.03

[W] vitenka: The HUD is a strange mix of the terminator and a peach melba yoghurt.

[W] vitenka: It's not often that you get attacked by a long haired ballerina with guns. Outside of an anime, anyway.

Thu5.6.03

mike: Trains don't grow on trees, don't be silly!
- alan: Yes they do!
- mike: I think that's quotable.
- alan: Have you never seen a train tree? Well, where do you think branch lines come from? And the railway wouldn't survive without trunk roots!

Wed4.6.03

alex: Yes, the bike is a SarcasticTalkingCat

morag: I don't kill people who supply me with animé, cause then the animé stops

morag: So everyone who's scared of lots of gay young men running around being dead can just... go away early...

Tue3.6.03

alex: I've got to have my Magic cards on my back, which is quite heavy

alex: ...and choose from one of my four hands.

peter: Smooth isn't a word I'd particularly associate with morgues

mike: Bristol has a lot of advertising in it, and probably the odd hummingbird or two

mike: Snow is, well, irrelevant.
- stuart: It's unlikely to be canonised at any point...

nat: I think California isn't that dangerous, because I survived, and killer whales are - well - fluffy

: This is true. I have purchased one. --CH

stuart: People are going to realise I have a weakness for chicken
- mike: Is that a quote?
- alex: But people will just think he was talking about KFC...

m-a: I think I'll send round a slightly larger bull.
- douglas: That's the Papal bull.
- nat: No, it is in fact the Antichrist!

stuart: Just draw a card.
- alex: From the top of the deck, which is not yet defined.

alex: Ph34r my 1337 5|-|33p.

Mon2.6.03

alex: I wil not boast in anything, except Christ and powers of 2

alan: From your e-mail the subtext is clear Mike... just admit it... you prefer cows to sheep... you know that's what you really think... :-) Just think... cows...

Sun1.6.03

alan: Bike is like Belly in many respects; he likes to be oiled regularly :-)

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