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alan: Well I spoke with the chocolate hobnob before eating him and he said that tomorrow morning is going to be a jammy dodger because the afternoon gets bored when there are too many mornings that are chocolate hobnobs... - whereas the night just falls asleep and doesn't care!

andrew: She turned out to be a girl, just like her mum


Image: 46 dave: This [next anime to be shown] is on DVD, isn't it?
- morag: Yes, that's why I'm waiting for Serge to come and fix the language
- tom: Just gag Nagi!


radio 2 presenter: The Master of the Universe is sitting in a jam on the M6...

mike: I think that since Tsunami's here, any attempt to prevent them from being consumable would be dangerous
- tsunami [immediately and intently]: Are you talking about JellyBabies?


stuart: Hey, it's me. What did you expect - a good pun?

alex: The night is yet young.
- stuart [looking outside]: It may in fact be said that the afternoon is still pregnant

stuart: I have philosophical objections to water

stuart: My single wish is Death, you see


stuart: I didn't go with them, because nobody was sure whether I was one or two people at the time

Image: 46 stuart: There is a potential problem here, which is that I am not a giraffe

mike: I think you'll find French mountains are made of Brie

alex: So you take a butter mountain, and a rice mountain, and you spread them out between London and Cambridge, and tunnel through them...?!?

liz to alex: Do you like the idea of having a brain controlled by a van?

alex: I was only wearing the shoe on my hand *because* I was asleep on the train

alex: It's time to start the CampaignForSignpostRights?
FreeBillStickers?? --Kazuhiko

mike: I don't think any pasta packets have been found in Viking archaeological digs.
- alex: I wasn't meaning I actually wanted to be a Viking. Although I do want to quote that comment of yours.
- mike: You don't have to be a Viking to record quotes...

Image: 46 rob: Things we [FitzwilliamCollege IT department] might need, but have forgotten about...
- mike: More memory?
- rob: ...Things we might only remember two weeks too late...
- alex: More processing speed?

physicist1: All good things come to those who wait
- physicist2: Really? Death comes to those who wait!
- physicist1: And who says thats a not a good thing?


zoë: The sheep don't have to e-mail me because they talk to me directly...

alex: Where am I? Hello world. Hello orange juice.


Image: 46 katie: I haven't played rounders since I was in school.
- emma: But you're still at school!
- katie: Yes, I played it on Friday...

elaine: Is that Notre Dame, or is it two bottles of champagne?

alan: Mike, you're not a polar bear! [...] Even a purple one...

~ alan: Yes, but what's wrong with squids at the central prayer meeting?

alan: [Nokkette] is more like the internet than a mobile phone...
- [mike gives an I'm-going-to-quote-that look]
- alan: Well she is...
- [mike heads towards computer to email the quote to Nokkette]
- alan: You're about to prove my point...

alan: Well you could say she's a mobile phone in reciprocal space.

mike: Belly wants to know whether the chicken has become a turkey in his absence.

alan: I'll send you a postcard of Mars next time I'm on holiday.


angela: Is there anybody like me in it? [re. a computer game being written]
- alex: I hope not!

angela: It was an awful sermon, but fortunately nobody was there

[W] alex: If I know anyone who's passed through Cambridge who would have a device for sexing phoenixes, it would be Remiel...

mike: I've yet to meet the phone number that resembles a sultana.


trudi: You never know when you're going to need a barbecue


james: I'm practicing to be a sturgeon
- alex: Do you think this is something you're likely to be called to later in life?
- ant: Most people are...

victor: Error: Insufficient Arms.

ant: "They're going to recycle our heads! With pirouettes...!"

Image: 46 victor: You could cause the nation to grind to halt, by subverting the postal sorting machines with tea leaves

Fri18.7.03 (Visit a Smiling Cat in York)

alex: I don't object to semi-deliberate induced symbiosis

sarah [re street names]: "Cambridge Mews", as in "Cambridge Miaows".
- mike: Does it? I've never heard it miaow!
- sarah: You obviously don't tickle it the right way...

sarah: You thought this was my bathroom - in fact, it's a pair of stolen signal boxes...

sarah: Travelling by train has never been quite the same since I memorised all the numbers of all the signal boxes in the country! Not intentionally, you understand...

mike: Zoë has a mental sheepwash

mike: Alex's... JellyBaby *mania*, might be a good way of putting it.
- alex to zoë: Can we describe you as having sheep mania?
- zoë: Well, I don't throw them at people...

alex: I love the thought of Zoë wandering around a train engine offering it sandwiches

mike: All chocolate cakes are depraved. Didn't you know, Zoë?

alex: I don't mind being called Battery Giggle

Thu17.7.03 (Waterfalls Walk-ing)

mike: Zoë and Margaret are now tied.
- alan s: And looking rather similar.
- zoë: It's the generic female shape!
- mike: It looks like an alien.
Bwahahaha! MikeJegoo? in trouble! However, he's requested that /ContextThu17thJuly be provided, so there it is...

See above.  Mike should now be known as Mike Jegoo......
*sigh* I suspect I'm in trouble...

alex: There was some high-octane chicken flying around

mike: I stirred the cake mix a bit too much. But as mixing bowls don't come with an undo button, we'll have to live with it.

zoë: I doubt taking hairband or watch off would have much cooling effect.
- alex: Socks sometimes do.
- alan s: When used as blades of a fan, or something...?


alex to mike: Well I don't know about you, but I've only got two eyes! Are you claiming to have twenty-six eyes?!

alex [kneading pizza dough]: I shall come over and mix the tin of tomatoes with the tin of tomato purée and check the consistency... just as soon as I've separated myself from this symbiotic lifeform!!

zoë: Have you not seen it in the shops? Highland Cow Powder! Just add water... ping, you have a Highland Cow!

alex: Now if I'd been saying, for example, "I'll get that tractor to do a handstand on that sheep's back"...

mike: Metres. As opposed to beans.
- alex: I prefer to measure my distance in b.. ...[trails off]
- mike: Go on, finish it off and put it in Nokky!

alex: Well, peering over the edge of a 7 or 800 foot cliff is not the time you expect your backpack to go "Twang! Message for you sir!"

alex: It's perfectly possible for a skateboard to be designed in such a way that it's also a spaceship! I don't think that's silly...?

Tue15.7.03 (Training Carlisle to Settle)

alex: Well, being able to take what was intended as an evil genius laugh, and convert it into the sound made by a mechanical flower, takes some skill...
- mike: When you look at it that way, I can see your point

mike: Whatever the best route turns out to be.
- zoë: Train, I suspect. Flying would be expensive, and he's not very near an airport, and the bus would be very slow...
- alex [same tone]: ...And they haven't installed the winged elephant rides this far north, have they...

Image: 46 mike [pointing at a dessert menu]: What are you having, Zoë?
- zoë: I'm having great difficulty restraining myself from doing you physical damage!!
- mike: What *dessert* are you having, Zoë?
- alex: Oh, she's asking the waitress for it too. "Excuse me, I'd like great difficulty restraining myself from doing him physical damage, please..."

mike to alex: Are you going to wear a hand on your shoe again? Um. That didn't quite work, did it... Are you going to wear a shoe on your hand again?

alex: I've still got bits of castle in my hair

mike: Eating stamps is never efficient.

zoë: It may not surprise you that chocolate which smells of dogfood doesn't sell very well

alex: There's a constant sequence of buses which between them make up a vital component of Hadrian's Wall

Image: 46 alan s: Being cheeky? I wouldn't dream of doing that... ...I'd just get on and do it


alan s to zoë re mike: I'm pretty sure you didn't give birth to him
- zoë: I'm pretty sure he's older than me!
- alan: That's part of the reason...

mike: Excuse me while I recompress Alex's nose

alex: Bwahahaha! I will bring my transforming sandwiches!

zoë: Oh look - more sheep to terrorise. I mean, make friends with!

mike [walking in the yorkshire dales]: Oh look, those lumps are very regular going up there! There must be a Nessie swimming in the hill...

zoë: Sheep like bananas, too.
- alan s: That's quite bizarre.
- alex: You get this image of sheep who secretly want to be gorillas. ... ...Well, I do, anyway...

zoë: Are tourists chimnetic? In the same way that magnetic things are attracted to iron, perhaps people build a chimney to attract tourists...?

Image: 46 alan s: One of the ways to get a road to travel at a few millimetres a year is to build it on a tectonic plate. And I think this is a fairly common practice.

mike: Normally the hay is eaten by the horse in the box.
- alex: And not the other way round.
- mike: "Revenge Of The Hay"...

Sun13.7.03 (Start of Yorkshire holiday)

mike: With predictive text, Alan's mobile should send messages which say "Cow cow cows cow cowing cow cow, moo moo"...?

alex: Some people would say that I, for example, am more pink than blue
- mike: Only some?
- alex: Well, some people will say anything about me...

mike: [dictating] "The quick brown fox jumps over the full stop, full stop". What's the problem with that as a sentence?

zoë to alex [who's just been to Alton Towers]: Did you go on Oblivion?
- alex: No, that was just me tripping

Image: 46 mike: Okay, so I need to get on my horse... charge at the cabbage... slice it in half with my sword... and then ride round waving at the audience. And then I need to start on the carrots.

alex: I could pretend to be six people.

alex: "So, mister Senior, how does it feel to be in a car full of sheep?"

alex: I'm not! I'm perfectly hatstand thank you!
- alan s: I see. The surrealist response to being called insane. Nothing to do with lamp-posts, though.
- alex: Well, it has some things in common with lamp-posts...


alan r via SMS: Have had discussions about differences between Czech and English farm animals. Boys more popular here...!

mike: I speak Physicist fluently.  It's like a second language to me.
- zoë: What about Chemist?
- mike: That's my native language! Inorganic dialect, that is.  I don't understand Theoretical dialect at all well.  It's like a separate language...

richard a: I work really well between about three in the afternoon and... about, say, half past three in the afternoon


tsunami to alex [who's leaving on holiday in a day or two]: Let us know when you wake up.
- alex: What, you want me to send you an email from work?
- tsunami: I was expecting a postcard, actually...


alex: It's like burn marks from Adrian Holloway: some people have got lots, some people have got a few, but everyone's got some!


[W] PeterTaylor: Has the UnnaturallyKeenQuoteScout never eaten hamster?

[W] vitenka: Hamster is not to be consumed upon on or off the premises 

Image: 46 alex: We need to wash the wooden thpoons.
- mike: Wooden thoons?
- alex: Yes, wooden buffoons.
- mike: Wooden bassoons?
- alex: Yes, wooden baboons

mike: Deleting square brackets from around Nagi is not the same as laughing like Nagi!

alex: I think Mike's just got "nyo" on the brain
- mike: Surely nyot.

alan senior over the phone: Hello, is that Alex Churchill?
- alex: Yes it is, and I'll just step into a cupboard

Image: 46 alex to three japanese visitors: When English people sit round the ironing board at parties, traditionally after half an hour the next person will get up and take over, so that over the course of the evening everyone will have done half an hour of ironing.

alex to mike re mike's dad's car: I feel I could bring along a critical mass of JellyBabies, to pour into the fuel tank... or something...

alex: There's somebody at the oven door
- mike: I think there's somebody trying to get out of the clock...


steve: They do that a lot, don't they, fridges?
- alex: What, explode?
- steve: Yeah...


alex: It wasn't what I originally meant, but it is now

mike [pointing at one of today's quotes]: Was this with regard to mathematical modelling?
- alex: What? Me with tentacles?

tom: Alex with tentacles. I'm worried.

tom re nagi: I had this image of him laying a model railway over his head

sunkitten: She should be renamed MurphyTheSphericalHuntingCat?
[Regarding MurphyTheTrainedHuntingCat]

douglas: If she ever discovers batteries, she'll rule the universe


nat: I'm really annoyed with my parents for spelling me wrong

susan: I had this image of Alex dressed up as Tin-Opener Man, with his own theme tune and everything...

susan: So "Alex" is "when you walk onto a patch of grass you're not meant to"...?
See /Context1stJuly2003?

susan: I had this image of whenever this person approaches within 100 metres of M-A, she goes "Uhh.. umm... what's happening?!"

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