ec2-18-224-38-3.us-east-2.compute.amazonaws.com | ToothyWiki | NokkyQuotes | RecentChanges | Login | Webcomic ( Back to /October2002 )( Up to NokkyQuotes )( Forward to /December2002 ) Rating system in use. Please feel free to browse these quotes from the [Edit] page rather than normal viewing. If there are quotes you feel are particularly good, prepend a star symbol to the start of them by typing Image:46 in the editor. If there are quotes you feel are particularly bad, prepend a ~ symbol. Those with several stars will at some point be collected to form a Best Of. Those with several ~s may at some point be removed. Please don't cancel the symbols out: something with " ~~ " is more informative than if it had no markings.
Sat30.11.02
alex: Until Angela finishes inflating her clothes - what? - I mean buying shoes!
alex: Who could fail to notice they had semtex strapped to their teeth?
mike to nagi: You have just described yourself as your own bunghole. - nagi: And what's wrong with that?
dave: I'm not allowed to hunt foxes that far north. Which is good, as I don't like hunting foxes.
alex: [panicky] I'm thinking more like Nagi than Nagi is!
dave [as nagi walks in]: Hi, nagi-chan! [Apologies to those who don't know either Nagi or the Japanese suffix "chan". But to those who know both, the horror of this combination does merit quoting. See also NagiNagiNagi]
mike: I think that's the most incriminating quote by anyone. - dave: I'm almost proud of that...
~~ alex: Being able to believe reality is a good thing?
mike: It would have been quite funny to see what happened if Rob's belly started playing Hall of the Mountain King
~ alex: Oh, I often throw phones around when I'm happy.
rob: I thought that was an animé reference - mike: Only if Alex's brother is a particularly weird animé - (ant:Woohoo!)
mike: Alex is the only person I know who's possessed by a mobile phone, rather than the other way round
~ mike (having spilt coffee): I walked into the doorframe. - rob: I walk into thousands of particles every day, and don't spill my coffee. - mike: Yes, but I think calling a doorframe a particle would be stretching your definitions a little bit...
mike: So if I had milk *with* toes, it'd be fine. [Out of context, it's really surreal and cool. In context, it's a dreadful pun. So no context will be recorded here!] [think lactose intolerance]
alex: Bizarrity is in the eye of the beholder. ...My goodness, it's a wonder we still find anything bizarre at all... - rob: I don't think I do.
alex: Well, maybe we would pass through each other... The last time I touched Mike was when I squeezed his foot about a month ago, and I can't remember the last time I touched you, Rob...
mike: Obviously if it looks outside, screams, and runs back inside, then that'd be unusual, but most gases aren't that sentient
rob: The air will have changed - alex: From being 80% nitrogen, roughly 20% oxygen, into a bizarre helium / argon mix
mike: A shirt. Of the purple variety. - alex: No, that's Rob...
~~ mike: I must have been halfway through making myself some coffee in this cup - rob: No, that's mine. You were halfway through making yourself some coffee in *that* cup
Fri29.11.02
mike: I apologise for stealing Nokky's thunder - alex: He'll come chasing after you wanting it back... [This is not at all true. Nokky is very generous with his distribution of thunder. He is, however, quite particular about who he lets near his lightning.]
When distributing lightning, one must be very careful about which end one holds.
sarah b: Why should it be silly to hang around holding a shark? Or is that just me?
Thu28.11.02 (Food + film at fell)
alex: Stand clear of the oven. Fast pizza approaching. - peter t: Mind the closing oven doors.
~ matthew f: Two Bibles can be forgiven... yes...
Wed27.11.02
~ nagi: What on earth do you buy from toolshops?
~ mike: We shall be erupted! ... That's manguage-langle for interrupted...
alan: I should probably just get coffee that absorbs straight through the skin, it'd solve a lot of problems.
~ alan: Ooh, homemade apples?
alan: It's turning into a sport, this. - mike: What, quote-baiting? - alan: I wonder if it could get into the Olympics?
alan: You have to care for your coffee, because it can be quite discerning at times.
Tue26.11.02
james: I keep hearing about declining coastal sheep, so it's taking my attention.
chris: I could forge my way back into that cow. As it were...
sally: Just because you're a miserable pedantic oaf, doesn't mean the rest of us can't have yellow tickets!
alex: That [civilisation] would like to explode around some cows and then stay there.
zoë: I've found that being around Alan has made me obsessed with sheep.
alan: I keep trying to work out the coefficient of restitution for these sheep. I think it's about root two. [...] - alan: What do you expect me to do when sheep falling from the top of my computer screen always bounce to the same height? - Wouldn't you calculate their restitution coefficient??
~ richard goff [mike's labmate]: [Mike] walks in, and everyone in the building thinks of tea!
Mon25.11.02
dave re alex: It isn't just his toe that's trying to escape from that sock... it appears to be his entire foot. Although having seen that sock, I can understand why...
mike: I don't mean that I can't distinguish the number 8 from the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
mike: I get on with mad scientists. ...Unless they've got red noses and whiskers, that is...
alex: Can you imagine putting on pyjamas over your wings?
alex: The halo transplant failed.
mike: I've instigated a peanut-butter-breeding programme. Unfortunately so far all I've bred is green furry peanut butter...
alex: He can read my mind, but I can't read his. - mike: Yes you can, just not with your... mind...
mike: I wasn't paid by the Board of Fish in Nokky to make that last quote. - alex: [long pause] ...I suppose it shouldn't *surprise* me that such a Board exists...
mike: People go "oh, it's just a fish". It doesn't matter how surreal a setting it's in, it's still just a fish. It could be about to jump off the Empire State Building, trapped in a bottle, it's still just a fish...
Sun24.11.02
mike: Maybe you got an extra leg when you did part III?
milan: The blood is coming back into my leg now. After I sat on it. My leg, that is, not the blood. - stephen: You took the blood out of your leg, sat on it, and put it back?!
alex to stephen: We will rule the world with our improbable sheep!
Sat23.11.02
mike: Nokky may wish to differ. He may also wish to differentiate, but that's his fault for hanging out with a mathmo.
fiona to mike: Wow, I can almost believe you can behave yourself!
~ jud: Your fault in the sense of "congratulations, thank you very much!"
mike: My parents didn't get a personalised flood
jud: The only really violent ceilidhs I've been to were in Scotland. The only time I've dislocated anyone's shoulder was in Scotland.
alex: I don't know anyone who's famous who I knew before they were famous - jeremy: You know me!
alex: Don't mind me, my pocket's just making Monty Python quotes
Fri22.11.02
milan: I can't think of anything that's purple and would go in a wardrobe... apart, of course, from purple clothes
alex: Excuse me, someone's contacting me on my... er... wand
angela: I don't think, it's entirely comparable to the first one - it's very similar
stephen to jenny: *I'm* mad?! You're the one with a chip in your ear!
mike: It's a sad life when even your electronic sheep won't talk to you.
Thu21.11.02
angela: I object to people calling me white, because quite frankly I'm pink
~ peter: This year - by which I mean, last year
Wed20.11.02
rob: See, my bike /is/ a tuned instrument... [mike gives him the "that's getting quoted" look] It's out of tune though...
rob: ...though it would be fun to rename 'root' to 'wyrtrum' [He'd just learned the Old English for "root" was "wyrtrum"]
~ nagi: A contour integral is when I get shot in the head. You can deduce this.
serge: I am... self-invinced.
alex: The cat isn't the one whose ear I landed five centimetres from while screaming "Monet". [This was in fact Mike. Or Nagi. My memory fails me.]
mike: You have to cull those noticeboards. - serge: Or they bite your hand when you stroke
~~matthew: I think she's quite surprised to be holding a bunch of bananas
alan: German-speaking sheep can be particularly problematic
alan: I can talk Moo, but Baa is just a different league!
alan: Throwing rice is throwing rice, whether you do it in one, two or three dimensions.
~alan: Forget verbs, let's just eat!
Tue19.11.02
angela: I'm not sure how anybody could construe flapjacks as having anything to do with sexual sin [such a sheltered life :-)]
angela: If you went to Reading university and did education, specialising in reading, you could say "I'm reading reading in Reading."
stuart: I'm not going to knock *my* monument over with a tidal wave.
stuart: I have a left-handed surname
jill: I wrote an essay this morning on "What is naturalism?" - morag: What is naturalism? - jill: I don't know, that's why the essay is seven pages long
stuart: So you got your monument back and lost your jihad. I guess it's a fair trade.
jenny: I think [my gran +grandad] should work really hard, they should do quantum physics! And I think my mum shouldn't be allowed to have sellotape!
jenny: It's worrying how many hands my parents must think I have...
Mon18.11.02
alex: Think of normal things, think of normal things, think of a normal anime chara... ah, I could be onto a loser, here...
alex: Well you know how you're the leader of so many biker gangs, Mike...
mike to anime character: I don't think you're going anywhere. I think you're going to be mistaken for a carrot.
~dave: I invited you guys [Alex + Mike] here - alex: I heard that as "I *invented* you guys"... - dave: Yeah, I probably did that as well...
mike: Alex frequently refuses to put my puns into Nokky. - dave: Otherwise Nokky would have to commit suicide for the sake of the world.
alex: Whereas I'm after the objective truth behind shoujou...[erm]...icity.
~ mike: I never said anything about my flammability...
mike: I wouldn't want a war, it wouldn't look good on my shelf. - [pause] - alex: Was that just utterly random? - mike: Of course! What kind of person do you take me for? - alex [sighing]: Let me rephrase that... is there any context there that I'm missing??
mike: C.H.L.L.I.? - alex: It's... Welsh chilli.
alex: It'd be kinda useful... - mike: To produce chilli from between your toes each month?
mike: Nokky is the evil and nasty dictator of the world with the longest-tempered telephone I've ever met.
mike to alex: You're not allowed to be sorry - it makes me feel so much worse when I'm not sorry for my dreadful puns
ben: I drove - I just took my bike with me for company - alex: Good conversationalist, is it? - ben: Yeah...
rob: Chocolate isn't an elemental particle, unfortunately
~alan to matthew f: Is he still your colleague? - matthew f: Yes, and I am still his user...
Sat16.11.02
~alex: "I discovered the South Pole! It's on your balcony..."
~alan: Even belly doesn't quote to obtain food... That would be immoral!
vic to angela [re her script for a play]: You could write your lines on your fish!
[misheard by mike] rob: I was going to evangelise the ToothyWiki [Rob actually said vandalise... but which would be more productive is anyone's guess]
alan to zoë: I just assume everything in here's a sheep
ant: You can just imagine the little bearded guy rummaging around in your brain
jill: In the Catholic Church, they allowed me to be a heretic... it's like I got Papal dispensation to be a heretic
Thu14.11.02
~ alan: I've seen some very conversational apple pies in Iceland...
Wed13.11.02
alex: Normal is defined as all relatives
alex: I'd be satisfied with taking over one universe! - serge: "I will take over the world with my pseudo-complex number!" - nagi: Don't joke...
nagi: I never thought I'd say it, but I'm glad I don't exist in the dreams of Japanese schoolgirls
dave: Hit him until he gets jellybabies out, and then we'll worship him
dave: Feel free to leave jellybabies lying around my room any time
morag: He copyrighted a particular collection of animals, including but not limited to hamsters, and blew them up instead
~ serge: I once got treated to some nice wine. And then I couldn't find anything that tasted so good among the cheap stuff
Tue12.11.02
~ mike: You're not going to try to spell "Nyibanibanib", then? - alex: [starts typing in nokky] - mike: That'll be a no, then...
douglas to chris: You sound like a pixie rewinding
serge: Meeses is the plural of moos [sic]
~ chris: It's not often you hear someone say "pig pig cycle"
~ chris: It's a bit of a bizarre concept - an elf cycling through the mountains...
angela [after a long silence]: Does anyone have a large fish?
phil r re navy ships: You can just go an buy a destroyer off the shelf... it's a big shelf
~sally: Yellow's not good for marbleling: but if you want to make a big tower of Rainbow fimo you need it.
sally: Don't give a mathmo lots of blocks of colour: they'll be gone forever.
Mon11.11.02
~liz: You *can't* microwave a penguin!
Sun10.11.02
~ angela to peter: You shouldn't smell your coleslaw if you have a cold!
angela to her mum: I tried to call you yesterday for a chat, but you were probably out being Victorian... Oh? In Denmark? Really? Oh, OK then...
dan: This is a very relational phone. Cos it gives me free minutes. So it lets me be relational. It's a very biblically-based phone. In that way.
Sat9.11.02
douglas: I've sacrificed a shoe! - morag: How is this possible? - alex: Presumably by the glowing lightsabre embedded in the shoe...
serge: How does one "play" FlapJack?? I guess you dangle it in front of Angela and move it around as you watch her try to eat it...
~ peter s: Oh, you know I'm really into Satan...
angela: They sent an email saying the floor has a leaky ceiling
Fri8.11.02
matthew f: That's the trouble with human beings... You can't power cycle them!
alex: My hand is not made of bluetack - you can't pick it up with bluetack.
Thu7.11.02
~ alex: I normally go to B&Q every Sunday after church
Wed6.11.02
nagi: I just did 5 pages of supersymmetry. And I came out at the end with the answer "q". Rather than "zero". Which is good... I think...
[anti-D] alan: Look, just stop thinking about cows for a moment!
alan: Sorry, looking at that boiling water is making my feet feel funny...
Tue5.11.02
mike: Do traffic cones move around when they graze?
alex: 1, 2, 3, 4, fish. 1, 2, 3, 4, fish. That's fabulous - why did I never think of counting like that before?
douglas: Trust Alex to build everything next to a volcano
angela: I was cycling along when someone tried to kill me. I was quite glad...
morag: People have replied, but no-one's actually said anything.
angela: He [Alex] is pretending to be human. - morag: Ah, that explains a lot.
angela to alex: You're the only person who when excommunicated says "Would you like a teacake?"
Mon4.11.02
~susan [describing a photo]: Mike. He's got that purple fluffy... - alex: Platypus? - susan: No. - alex: Hot water bottle? - susan: Yes.
~ matthieu: If we've got a cat with agoraphobia, this would be quite... amusing...
alex: When you're travelling at 30 miles an hour and your seat vanishes from under you, it'd be quite distressing. [Context: discussing a car made of wind, and what happens when the wind stops]
mike: I was about to try to type a quote into the carrot
dave: I think that's top of the 101 things not to do to a spaceship - alex: What, waving it around by its tail?
mike: I didn't realise Dolby Digital was worshipped by the ancient Egyptians - dave: Really? How naive of you not to realise...
dave: He's a really bad guy. - alex: Guy?! He's got lipstick and eyelashes!! - dave [by way of explanation]: He's a psychopath.
mike: Alex, Japan is not populated by whales! - alex: Oh, I thought that was what all the big eyes and coloured eyes [in animé] were hinting at...
alex: General head-appearing-through-hole noise... haven't you heard one before?
mike: Alex, stop trying to reverse a chair up the stairs! [The problem with the surreality of this utterance is that... Alex *was*.]
mike: Have you never had roast farmhouse? It's quite tasty...
alex: Pancake rolls, what's that? ...Like a forward roll, but onto a pancake?
~~ mike: We are the Pancakes that say "Duh..."
~ alex: It sounds relatively plausible that someone could be being baked into "Tee-Ell" bread...
alex: [In tones of low menace] Are you... Oddish? You don't... /look/ Oddish... [A reference to the surreal YellowSubmarine film, for those who won't get it]
mike: Admittedly you wouldn't be able to put lightning in lasagne
~ mike: An eruption of carrots would be spectacular - alex: I'm sure we've seen something like that recently...?
Sun3.11.02
~ alan re alex: I think he is defined by his hair!
matthew f: Oh no.... I've just discovered the Arabic for "Insert SIM card" again.
alan: I set up an email address mooingisfun@yahoo.com. - matthew f: Yes, after discovering that moo, moomoo, moomoomoo and moocow were already taken!
mike: I think Sujit is sensible enough not to try to distort the fabric of space and time
Sat2.11.02 (Mike unexpectedly cooks for 12)
jeremy: There might be some people who have an addiction to touching cars
nia: There are some kids in school who'll never do a group discussion on their own
david r: What's fun is eating grapes and spitting the grapes out at people [sic]
serge: You can fit a lot more grapes in your mouth if you take the pips out
mike: Whatever I do, it comes out dense [Regretfully, I must point out this was with reference to his cooking of bread...]
mike: Not every Scotsman is a weirdness source
morag to rob: You're not screaming and trying to kill your boss... given that your boss is yourself this is probably fortunate
~ rob: Uh-oh, Zoë's on wheels...
rob: If you were waving solidarity about...
rob: You said "no, this is a large potato" down the phone. What on earth can he have said to get that response? - mike: He said "Hello, this is Philip, is that Mike?"...
Fri1.11.02
rob: That's not really very pig-like. That's "oink oink oink". It should be "oincus oincus oinqué"
lucy: Well the truth is I am disembodied... But I have no knowledge of dots
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