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alex: Until Angela finishes inflating her clothes - what? - I mean buying shoes!
alex: Who could fail to notice they had semtex strapped to their teeth?
mike to nagi: You have just described yourself as your own bunghole. - nagi: And what's wrong with that?
dave: I'm not allowed to hunt foxes that far north. Which is good, as I don't like hunting foxes.
alex: [panicky] I'm thinking more like Nagi than Nagi is!
dave [as nagi walks in]: Hi, nagi-chan! [Apologies to those who don't know either Nagi or the Japanese suffix "chan". But to those who know both, the horror of this combination does merit quoting. See also NagiNagiNagi]
mike: I think that's the most incriminating quote by anyone. - dave: I'm almost proud of that...
~~ alex: Being able to believe reality is a good thing?
mike: It would have been quite funny to see what happened if Rob's belly started playing Hall of the Mountain King
~ alex: Oh, I often throw phones around when I'm happy.
rob: I thought that was an animé reference - mike: Only if Alex's brother is a particularly weird animé - (ant:Woohoo!)
mike: Alex is the only person I know who's possessed by a mobile phone, rather than the other way round
~ mike (having spilt coffee): I walked into the doorframe. - rob: I walk into thousands of particles every day, and don't spill my coffee. - mike: Yes, but I think calling a doorframe a particle would be stretching your definitions a little bit...
mike: So if I had milk *with* toes, it'd be fine. [Out of context, it's really surreal and cool. In context, it's a dreadful pun. So no context will be recorded here!] [think lactose intolerance]
alex: Bizarrity is in the eye of the beholder. ...My goodness, it's a wonder we still find anything bizarre at all... - rob: I don't think I do.
alex: Well, maybe we would pass through each other... The last time I touched Mike was when I squeezed his foot about a month ago, and I can't remember the last time I touched you, Rob...
mike: Obviously if it looks outside, screams, and runs back inside, then that'd be unusual, but most gases aren't that sentient
rob: The air will have changed - alex: From being 80% nitrogen, roughly 20% oxygen, into a bizarre helium / argon mix
mike: A shirt. Of the purple variety. - alex: No, that's Rob...
~~ mike: I must have been halfway through making myself some coffee in this cup - rob: No, that's mine. You were halfway through making yourself some coffee in *that* cup
mike: I apologise for stealing Nokky's thunder - alex: He'll come chasing after you wanting it back... [This is not at all true. Nokky is very generous with his distribution of thunder. He is, however, quite particular about who he lets near his lightning.]
When distributing lightning, one must be very careful about which end one holds.
sarah b: Why should it be silly to hang around holding a shark? Or is that just me?
Thu28.11.02 (Food + film at fell)
alex: Stand clear of the oven. Fast pizza approaching. - peter t: Mind the closing oven doors.
~ matthew f: Two Bibles can be forgiven... yes...
~ nagi: What on earth do you buy from toolshops?
~ mike: We shall be erupted! ... That's manguage-langle for interrupted...
alan: I should probably just get coffee that absorbs straight through the skin, it'd solve a lot of problems.
~ alan: Ooh, homemade apples?
alan: It's turning into a sport, this. - mike: What, quote-baiting? - alan: I wonder if it could get into the Olympics?
alan: You have to care for your coffee, because it can be quite discerning at times.
james: I keep hearing about declining coastal sheep, so it's taking my attention.
chris: I could forge my way back into that cow. As it were...
sally: Just because you're a miserable pedantic oaf, doesn't mean the rest of us can't have yellow tickets!
alex: That [civilisation] would like to explode around some cows and then stay there.
zoë: I've found that being around Alan has made me obsessed with sheep.
alan: I keep trying to work out the coefficient of restitution for these sheep. I think it's about root two. [...] - alan: What do you expect me to do when sheep falling from the top of my computer screen always bounce to the same height? - Wouldn't you calculate their restitution coefficient??
~ richard goff [mike's labmate]: [Mike] walks in, and everyone in the building thinks of tea!
dave re alex: It isn't just his toe that's trying to escape from that sock... it appears to be his entire foot. Although having seen that sock, I can understand why...
mike: I don't mean that I can't distinguish the number 8 from the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
mike: I get on with mad scientists. ...Unless they've got red noses and whiskers, that is...
alex: Can you imagine putting on pyjamas over your wings?
alex: The halo transplant failed.
mike: I've instigated a peanut-butter-breeding programme. Unfortunately so far all I've bred is green furry peanut butter...
alex: He can read my mind, but I can't read his. - mike: Yes you can, just not with your... mind...
mike: I wasn't paid by the Board of Fish in Nokky to make that last quote. - alex: [long pause] ...I suppose it shouldn't *surprise* me that such a Board exists...
mike: People go "oh, it's just a fish". It doesn't matter how surreal a setting it's in, it's still just a fish. It could be about to jump off the Empire State Building, trapped in a bottle, it's still just a fish...
mike: Maybe you got an extra leg when you did part III?
milan: The blood is coming back into my leg now. After I sat on it. My leg, that is, not the blood. - stephen: You took the blood out of your leg, sat on it, and put it back?!
alex to stephen: We will rule the world with our improbable sheep!
mike: Nokky may wish to differ. He may also wish to differentiate, but that's his fault for hanging out with a mathmo.
fiona to mike: Wow, I can almost believe you can behave yourself!
~ jud: Your fault in the sense of "congratulations, thank you very much!"
mike: My parents didn't get a personalised flood
jud: The only really violent ceilidhs I've been to were in Scotland. The only time I've dislocated anyone's shoulder was in Scotland.
alex: I don't know anyone who's famous who I knew before they were famous - jeremy: You know me!
alex: Don't mind me, my pocket's just making Monty Python quotes
milan: I can't think of anything that's purple and would go in a wardrobe... apart, of course, from purple clothes
alex: Excuse me, someone's contacting me on my... er... wand
angela: I don't think, it's entirely comparable to the first one - it's very similar
stephen to jenny: *I'm* mad?! You're the one with a chip in your ear!
mike: It's a sad life when even your electronic sheep won't talk to you.
angela: I object to people calling me white, because quite frankly I'm pink
~ peter: This year - by which I mean, last year
rob: See, my bike /is/ a tuned instrument... [mike gives him the "that's getting quoted" look] It's out of tune though...
rob: ...though it would be fun to rename 'root' to 'wyrtrum' [He'd just learned the Old English for "root" was "wyrtrum"]
~ nagi: A contour integral is when I get shot in the head. You can deduce this.
serge: I am... self-invinced.
alex: The cat isn't the one whose ear I landed five centimetres from while screaming "Monet". [This was in fact Mike. Or Nagi. My memory fails me.]
mike: You have to cull those noticeboards. - serge: Or they bite your hand when you stroke
~~matthew: I think she's quite surprised to be holding a bunch of bananas
alan: German-speaking sheep can be particularly problematic
alan: I can talk Moo, but Baa is just a different league!
alan: Throwing rice is throwing rice, whether you do it in one, two or three dimensions.
~alan: Forget verbs, let's just eat!
angela: I'm not sure how anybody could construe flapjacks as having anything to do with sexual sin [such a sheltered life :-)]
angela: If you went to Reading university and did education, specialising in reading, you could say "I'm reading reading in Reading."
stuart: I'm not going to knock *my* monument over with a tidal wave.
stuart: I have a left-handed surname
jill: I wrote an essay this morning on "What is naturalism?" - morag: What is naturalism? - jill: I don't know, that's why the essay is seven pages long
stuart: So you got your monument back and lost your jihad. I guess it's a fair trade.
jenny: I think [my gran +grandad] should work really hard, they should do quantum physics! And I think my mum shouldn't be allowed to have sellotape!
jenny: It's worrying how many hands my parents must think I have...
alex: Think of normal things, think of normal things, think of a normal anime chara... ah, I could be onto a loser, here...
alex: Well you know how you're the leader of so many biker gangs, Mike...
mike to anime character: I don't think you're going anywhere. I think you're going to be mistaken for a carrot.
~dave: I invited you guys [Alex + Mike] here - alex: I heard that as "I *invented* you guys"... - dave: Yeah, I probably did that as well...
mike: Alex frequently refuses to put my puns into Nokky. - dave: Otherwise Nokky would have to commit suicide for the sake of the world.
alex: Whereas I'm after the objective truth behind shoujou...[erm]...icity.
~ mike: I never said anything about my flammability...
mike: I wouldn't want a war, it wouldn't look good on my shelf. - [pause] - alex: Was that just utterly random? - mike: Of course! What kind of person do you take me for? - alex [sighing]: Let me rephrase that... is there any context there that I'm missing??
mike: C.H.L.L.I.? - alex: It's... Welsh chilli.
alex: It'd be kinda useful... - mike: To produce chilli from between your toes each month?
mike: Nokky is the evil and nasty dictator of the world with the longest-tempered telephone I've ever met.
mike to alex: You're not allowed to be sorry - it makes me feel so much worse when I'm not sorry for my dreadful puns
ben: I drove - I just took my bike with me for company - alex: Good conversationalist, is it? - ben: Yeah...
rob: Chocolate isn't an elemental particle, unfortunately
~alan to matthew f: Is he still your colleague? - matthew f: Yes, and I am still his user...
~alex: "I discovered the South Pole! It's on your balcony..."
~alan: Even belly doesn't quote to obtain food... That would be immoral!
vic to angela [re her script for a play]: You could write your lines on your fish!