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Just glancing at http://www.crystalkeep.com/magic/lists/files/spoil-7th.txt and mis-read one of the descriptions...
Flavor Text: "We have no need for these trinkets. We need only the strength
of our swords and the virtue of our hearts." -The Northern Paladin
Artist: Doug Chaffee
I merged the artist name into the flavour text and read "We need only the strength of our coffee and the virtue of our hearts."
AlexChurchill: Fabulous! :):) In fact, it reminds me of this card, inspired by an ill-fated game on AngelaRayner's parents' floor:
- Flood of Coffee 1RU
- If an opponent is drinking a cup of coffee, you may flail a limb instead of paying Flood of Coffee's mana cost.
- Destroy all permanents which aren't in card sleeves.
- For each permanent in a card sleeve, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, destroy that permanent. Otherwise, tap it [while you hastily dry the sleeve].
- Target girlfriend goes to get her parents' carpet cleaner.
The Deeply Missed Rule 502.9d
Those who haven't should look up rule 502.9d in the Comprehensive Rulebook at some point.
- Those who are MathematicallyMindedPeople may wish to disengage normal thought processes before doing so.
- "502.9d Ignore this rule." Ignoring the previous suggestion about disengaging thought processes, while it's certainly the case that "I am following rule 502.9d" is false, there are plenty of other situations in Magic where one rule tells you to ignore another - the only difference here is the recursion. I don't think the rule is paradoxical, for one can consistently ignore it.
- Assuming that there is no rule 'unless otherwise stated, follow all rules' Which there really ought to be.
Well, there are these two rules handling contradictions:
103.1. The Magic Golden Rule: Whenever a card's text directly contradicts these rules, the card takes precedence. The card overrides only the rule that applies to that specific situation. If an instruction requires taking an impossible action, it's ignored. (In many cases the card will specify consequences for this; if it doesn't, there's no effect.)
103.2. When one effect says something can happen and another says it can't, the "can't" effect wins.
It's arguable that the bolded part of 103.1 permits one to ignore 502.9d, since it's impossible to ignore it while paying attention to it... except...
- *Sighs* This is why I suggested disengaging normal thought processes first...MathMos. --SF
Actually, this is easy. It's an undecidable rule. You can follow it (and most Magic players do), but you can't prove you are. You can, provably, not follow it. --CH
Flavour Text Fun
Other cards with great flavour text (open links in new window):
MTG: Goblin Lookout
Ooh, someone started playing this game! Can I join in? (StuartFraser)
I can? Cool!
MTG: Drudge Skeletons
MTG: Macetail Hystrodon
Uh oh, this could get silly...
MTG: Raging Goblin
MTG: Fodder Cannon
Note how often goblins are involved!
Let's try some cool non-globin ones...
MTG: Recurring Nightmare
MTG: Kamahl, Pit Fighter
MTG: Erhnam Djinn
ChrisHowlett just rediscovered a card he got in a rare raffle:
MTG: Wheel Of Torture
Mistform Ultimus Silliness
MTG: Mistform Ultimus is a superb card, due to his perpetually-updating nature. A user called goblinrecruiter on the Wizards boards likes to keep his [signature] updated with some silly things that Mistform Ultimus is. Currently (13th Sep 06), it reads:
Mistform Ultimus... everyone's favorite:
Weird Nightmare Survivor
Minor Brownie Thief
Fallen Penguin Spy
Mist Strider Jellyfish
Fungus Lurker Pony
Villain Hero Bureaucrat
Elder Rock-Sled Designer
Giant Reflection Eater
Kelp Child Swarm
Banshee Speaker Mime
Mutant Antelope Carrier
Wretched Prism Monger
Mystic Essence Orb
Leper Maiden King
Master Minion Mob
Ooze Caravan Raider
Noble Mosquito Construct
Goblin Cow Tracker
Mammoth Squirrel Keeper
General Entity Merchant
Human Nephilim Slith
Elf Cave-People Paratrooper
Demon Spawn Rabbit
Hippo Crusader Incarnation
Singing-Tree Murk-Dwellers Lady-of-Proper-Etiquette
- Hey, that gives me an idea for FireSomething?... --CH