NokkyQuotes/December2003

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/RatingSystem in use. Please feel free to browse these quotes from the Edit page rather than normal viewing. If there are quotes you feel are particularly good, prepend a

symbol to the start of them. If there are quotes you feel are particularly bad, prepend a ~ symbol or

Particularly bad puns may be marked with

if desired. Those with several

s may at some point be collected to form a Best Of. Those with several ~s may at some point be removed. Please don't cancel the symbols out: something with "

" is more informative than if it had no markings.

[D] = defining (very characteristic) quotes. [W] = Wiki quotes

Mon29.10.03

angela: Muggers need to keep their heads warm just like everybody else

Thu25.12.03

ant: Well you wouldn't exactly have a live chicken wearing a croissant, would you?

vic: Ladies and gentlemen, this calls for an army of penguins!

Wed24.12.03

ant: Not many people have their own personal talking integer

Tue23.12.03

ant: The Lord of the Sheep. A three-part book and film series about the One Sheep: "One sheep to rule them all, one sheep to bleat them, one sheep to shear them all and in the darkness eat them..."

Mon22.12.03

nia: Have you phoned her?
- zoë: No, I don't have her email address.

Sun21.12.03

james: I was wondering if rappers speak in parseltongue
This is indeed AVeryBadPun, so bad you might miss it first time...

ant: I knew there was an advantage to the rough-shaven look!
- ian: Doesn't look good... doesn't feel good... but at least you can set fire to your drinks!

ian: I have to buy everyone a drink tonight.
- adam: Why?
- ian: Because I'm stupid...

ant: I'll be downloading like a... frenzied.. walrus.
- alex: Do frenzied walruses download?
- ant: Ooh yeah. You've never seen a frenzied walrus on a downloading spree. -- Well? Just try to deny it!

liz: Just because they have sheep, doesn't mean they turn them into red tassly things.

Thu18.12.03

alan: You need three spoons of instant coffee, a teaspoon of sugar and
some spaghetti bolognese, and you've got a sea lion.

alan: I've got a suitcase that's not very funny... it never seems to laugh
at my jokes. I think it thinks I'm a bit weird.

alan: So I ended up walking round the building for 10 minutes every 5 minutes...

mike: Palestine does not exist in either me or Alex!

mike: The Scots are not renowned for saying ecki-ecki-ecki-ptang-floob-boing-wbawbawbawba-ni!
- alan: Where are they renowned for saying it? Your house?
- mike: In the land of Ni! of course.
- alan: Ah! You mean your house!!

alex: I'm expecting to teleport to the Bahamas. I'm optimistic that way.

alex: Just go with the flow, and if we end down the plughole we'll just go with it

Wed17.12.03

alan: Can't you imagine a cow riding along Chesterton Road on a scooter?!

mike: Okay, so I live on footballs.

Sun14.12.03

jenny: You didn't know Nokia employed an elephant, did you?

Sat13.12.03

david: You're never going to realise the calorific value of your finger.

alan: You don't see too many sheep with pink and purple ears. Well, you do in this house.

alex: I find that quite funny. People mistake me talking Japanese for making bad puns and vice versa

mike: My game of Go is multi-storeyed.
- alex: ...What?
- mike: It contains many flaws.

nagi: There's nothing dishonourable about fighting to the death and then finding you're dead.

Tue9.12.03

stuart: I shall play a Warlord. He's an Australian warlord.
- alex: Why?
- everyone: Because he's upside down.
- stuart: He is also standing on his head.
- peter: He's attempting to change his accent by extreme means.

Mon8.12.03

mike: Awww! It's a cute little oil rig.
- ...alex: What's she doing, sending a text message saying "I've got a cute little oil rig"?
- ...mike: What, are being a hand and being an oil rig exclusive?
People may wish to /GuessTheContext, although a certain anime knowledge may be necessary

mike: I never heard that Buddhism was a symptom of sunstroke.
- alan: Well in his case it was...

Sun7.12.03

alex: I have one generic "bird". [stephen sniggers] Oi you!

[misheard by stephen] alex to stephen: Your hard drive just decided to run a marathon: Nobody take up breakdancing!

Sat6.12.03

alex: Don't set fire to my stomach!
- angela [speculatively]: Now, that would be interesting...
- alex: No it wouldn't! It would be very dull and boring. I'd just run around screaming with a flaming stomach.

Fri5.12.03

alex: You can only "sell all you have" once
- angela d: I know a guy who's done it twice

Thu4.12.03

rob: Last time I looked, the washing machine didn't teleport its contents to random places.

Wed3.12.03

dave: I've seen East Anglia: the earth is flat!

mike: How many cows do you know that a) kick-box b) wear a turban c) get drunk and laugh about puking?
- alan: About 6. 8 if you include Freda and Ingrid but they only did so once and thought it was a bad idea afterwards....

Tue2.12.03

chris: Can I have a species, please?

stuart: I'm not planning to poke any atomic bombs with a pin any time soon

douglas re italy: Lumps of concrete are famously insensitive, even on stilts

Mon1.12.03

mike: That sounds like the elemental particle of footwear, a slipon
- alex: More like the elemental particle of banana skins

alex: You don't expect sense, do you?
- mike: [pause] No, I expect haddocks.
- alex: These being the smaller unit of currency under the sea?
- mike: [pause] No, these being haddocks!!

mike: When did Angela pass her hippo test?
- alex: Maybe she's just naturally qualified?

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