NokkyQuotes/January2004

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Sat31.1.04

alex to angela: Stop training my computer to write Blark!!

stephen: AlexChurchill Episode 1, the Random Meh-Ness

jenny: I shall attach secret alarms to my hair! Each one of them.

mike: What time zone is Cloud Nine in?

Fri30.1.04

mike: I always thought things were good in CityChurch?, until you now tell me that they're irreverent up at the front.
- alex: That's not irreverent... that's an 'ippopotamus!! [A FlandersAndSwann reference]
- mike: So you have elephants in lectures and hippopotami in church -- Alex, what kind of world do you live in?!

mike: And it is now going to be recorded for posterity that Mike was talking about preaching the gospel to mould.

alex: How many Fridays do you *get* in a month?!
- mike: I think they've been breeding. On Saturdays.

mike: Maybe it shows that I don't have enough time to unwind that I still have both... my...arms...

alex: I could enter training for Olympic level Jelly-Baby Throwing

mike: I heard that as "everybody needs a futon". Presumably for their brain to goto sleep on.
- alex: Seems like a good use of one. A brain, that is.

mike to alex: You get worryingly excited about checkboxes sometimes

mike: "We are currently considering candidates for Valentine's Day this year."
- alex: The leading candidates are: February 14th, always a favourite with the traditionalists; November 17th, the leading contender; and the outside entry: August 1st...

Cool! My birthday is the leading contender for Valentine's day! --CH

: Meh. You are very lucky. My birthday is Valentine's day. It sucks. --FR

alex: I will now stop comparing Morag to the Apocalypse.

mike to alex: You are not Bugs Bunny! That banana is not a carrot!
- alex: I was not confused about either of these states of affairs!
- mike: You looked like you were...
- mike, attempting to hypnotise him: You are a carrot! That banana is Bugs Bunny!

mike: I'm not leaving the vaccuum cleaner constantly running, just to keep a muffin in it!!

rob: Last time I checked, coriander wasn't a fundamental particle

alex: I think my brain is still asleep on the futon

alex: There might be circumstances in which waltzing with a bike could be what you want to do

Thu29.1.04

alan: Well, don't you lie awake at night worrying about the sanity of the bacteria that crawl around inside your lungs and stuff?

alan: I can just imagine a giant coffee jar standing by the cooker, frying a load of sausages...

alan: Well don't you just expect coke cans to wander about the streets at strange times when no-one is looking?

alan: Have you sung C# and G yet?
- mike: Not simultaneously.
- alan: I'm sure Rob will forgive you... not sure about your vacuum cleaner though...
[...]
- alex to rob: Are you expecting sense?!
- rob: Yes! Because my name's in there.

Wed28.1.04

alan: Are you saying Purple is just the British manifestation of general European weirdness?!

Tue27.1.04

alex: I'm tempted to go ore...
- stuart: Alex is always tempted to go "awww"

shawn: You can always check by licking the screen. If it tastes like ice cream, [the email] is definitely from a cow...

Mon26.1.04

dave: You can't tell the difference between her face and her skirt, is the problem

[W] ChiarkPerson: Knowledge isn't worth it unless it comes with a real risk of backstrain, that's what I say.

Sun25.1.04

stranger in a toilet: I nearly coughed a whole number of times last night.

Sat24.1.04

ian: I object to something with tentacles and spikes being called a Cat

Fri23.1.04

mike: I wasn't aware that you could give Magic cards trampolines? Well, not in any productive way, anyway...

rob: I was thinking - why was I thinking about random variables the other day...?
- mike: Because you are one!

alex: For unto us a meal is born, unto us some food is given...
- rob: ...Carry on? "And the sausages shall be upon his shoulders...?"

mike: Okay, so let me get this straight. We're going to record an animated household cleaning product of us doing this [mimes a slow wave, grinning inanely] . And it's going to be totally unquotable!

mike: I wanted everyone on the list to be regarded as a potential TeabagFairy?

alex [thoughtfully, pondering]: To freeze the cheese... of une françeize... is heresies.

: (PeterTaylor) "française" would be the commonly accepted spelling.
: But that wouldn't be pronounced to rhyme with "freeze", "cheese" and "heresies". Which the 'word' used in the quote did rhyme with. --AC

alex: Rob is putting a kettle on. ...Hopefully he will then take it off, fill it with water and plug it in...

matthew f: I shall watch carefully next time you try to use a payphone in a pub, and instead manage to stuff cake in your ears!
- [...]
- mike: Are you trying to deny that your ears fill with cake every time you use a pub phone?

mike: Puns are not hallucinogenic drugs. Some people might /prefer/ hallucinogenic drugs to my puns, but that's beside the point.

mike: So your thoughts are like planets in a triple star system, orbiting around the stars Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner?
- alan: That would be an accurate analogy... - which is why my mind tends to be in outer space sometimes...!

Thu22.1.04

alex: I type faster than I read

elaine: I can understand you not knowing how to breathe

alan: Is Josh (by virtue of his hair colour) in carrot society?!

alan: Oh given the enthusiasm of the lecturer I think he was a pretty willing slave to be taken up Kilimanjaro by two giraffes!

CustardMoonboots: And you know me, I could shake a stick at an enormous amount of beebles.

Wed21.1.04

morag: Wow, we actually managed to get rid of all the excess nuts!
- alex: At WednesdayAnime, this is quite an achievement...

Tue20.1.04

chris: I've played with some German swamps.

stuart: This, erm, small clearing isn't big enough for the both of us

Sun18.1.04 (a draft of invasion please)

mike: Liz's bag is having an allergic reaction to your music Zoe...

neil: The card I have the most of other than basic land is probably Sol Ring

: (PeterTaylor) I also have this quoted. The Wiki community is free to suggest which page it should be removed from.

chris: It's a bit cruel to tap a goldfish!

chris: I channel blue mana through my daughter's hair.

stuart: You can have any colour you like, as long as it's black.
- stephen: You can also have blue...
- alex: As long as it's black!!

zoe:I get cravings for chocolate when I don't eat any... and when I do!

Sat17.1.04

milan: In Starbucks...
- stephen: You ordered an espresso with extra chicken faeces?

jenny to alex: You look like a painter.
- stephen to alex: You look like a drug dealer...
- jenny: I meant with his coat on, not just generally...
[!!]

mike: I'm afraid my breath is not colour-selective
- [In response to serge: Can you blow a bit harder on the Go board, and try to only blow on the white ones?]

morag: I don't approve of it... there's nothing in the Bible prohibiting people turning up to church in a ginger toupee

zoe: Can I use your toilet?
- mike: I'm sure you can. It's not terribly complex.
- zoe: Can we send that to Nokky?
- mike: Well, you can't use it if we send it to Nokky...

Fri16.1.04

alex: You're not Andrew Rogers!
- rob: By that definition neither is Andrew Rogers...

rob: There's curry powder in this, isn't there, Mike?
- mike: Yes... this is conventional in curries...
- rob: Oh, this is a curry!

May we re-introduce the brickness category? Please? --MJ

alex: "No, Mike, I didn't put my Magic cards in the washing machine when it was in teleporting mode! You'll be glad to know..."

mike: I thought you said RSL
- alex: Yes, it's a Repetitive Strain...
- mike: Loganberry.

rob: I haven't been responsible for any big disasters recently
- alex in primary teacher voice: Oh, that is progress!! Well done, mister Adamson!

mike: When you say "this year", are you including last year?

mike: Are you afraid that any remarks you make about invisible jellybabies may be quoted?

alex: No, I'm sure you could catch some cows, if you had a big enough net!
[Context: whether discussing the "net energy" of meat implies the meat is fish...]

mike: I see now that cleaning all the bamboo we have in the garden, to the sum total of zero, would indeed be easier than cleaning all the rest of the bamboo in the world. Or indeed the universe - there may be bamboo on other planets, for all we know

Wed14.1.04

mike: I misread that as 'I wish I was a volcano!'
- alan: Oh, that as well!
- mike: Any particular reason?
- alan: Well I wanted to be an earthquake but it turned out to be a bit faulty...

Tue13.1.04

chess: I have ancestral cows!
- matthew: But your cows will be enslaved!!

jack: I have in fact done nothing but waste everybody's time
- chess: Welcome to Games Evening!

Mon12.1.04

mike re alex: When he's finished Wikiing.
- dave: That could be after he dies. A long time after he dies, potentially...

Sun11.1.04

anna: It's good isn't it, having a host who says "Oh no, I've got lots of cake..."

peter: Not many people walk off a rugby pitch missing half a leg.
- alex: Do many people walk off a shark missing half a leg?
- stephen: Depends which half...

peter: Oxygen has certainly been around for a while... as has Hugh Grant.

mike: Chris Tarrant is a subset of the 21st Century

jenny: Well, I've never been skiing, or skydiving...
- alex: ...Or Leonardo da Vinci...

alex: It's not often that the phrase "Get in the bath by 9:15" means "Think about what you've just heard and find a bit to remember for the next week"... but now [it is] not unknown!

mike: No thanks, I don't want any milk in my purple balloon

Sat10.1.04

alex: There's a giant Catholic church
- mike: Are there any churches for normal-sized Catholics?
- alex: There are about eight Catholic churches round there, including one for Ukrainians, so probably.

Fri9.1.04

mike: I didn't know that being computer officer involved looking after concrete cows!
- rob: It does, Mike! I'll explain later...

alex: Oh, there are all *sorts* of games you can play with pasta. Some of them even without impacting the decor.

Thu8.1.04

alan: It's just an oscillating cowpat! What's wrong with that?
- rob: This is a cowpat that's oscillating through a perfect sphere!
- alan: Cowpats obey the basic laws of physics...

alan: Doesn't your coffee have arms?
- mike: *pause* er, no...
- alan: Oh. Well, mine does!

mike to himself: Ah... it's conventional to take off BOTH halves of the wrapper before eating a piece of chocolate.

alan: Couldn't the Tea Bags rotate in such a way as to communicate Morse code, or something? Couldn't Coffee pour himself into cups and communicate by the same means?

Wed7.1.04

alan re horace the cow: Well Horace was telling me that they go out in the evening at about 7pm, wrapped up in jackets made from their files. They walk out to their nearest cow grazing area and then start talking to the cows about the fundamentals of 4.33421-inch-spoon design and on their jackets they write down all the mcmoo response from the cows using a special washing-powder reactive ink before taking their jackets back to the lab and putting them in the washing machine to activate the ink which automatically translates all the mcmoo writing into Scottish. Horace enjoys this time of year though because recently they've been altering the ink so that it tells the civil servants complete gibberish... - understandably the cows got a bit bored hearing about 4.334421-inch-spoon design and have started having fun with the civil servants... Horace asks that you don't tell any Scottish civil servants you know about this since the cows' fun won't be as amusing...

Tue6.1.04 (A+A visit the U.S. Capitol)

angela: No, don't climb the tree. We don't want you to get shot.
- alex: Awww...
- angela: Imagine what would happen if everyone climbed it. ...It would be very full and you wouldn't be able to fit...

Mon5.1.04

angela to alex: You are an evil French mango seller!

angela: Is there anything you don't categorise?
- alex: Well... there are three broad groups...

old / unknown

serge: Ooh, I'd like that! It's been ages since I slept... with... Alex...

alex answering phone: Hello?
- mike: *attempting to discombobulate Alex* Bonjour, je cherche une grande telephone mobile. Est-ce que vous en avez?
- alex: I can't quite hear you but I'm in the shower and I'll be with you soon...
... - alex (on arrival): Giant Mobile Telephone, reporting for duty, sah!

ant: I was just in the process of saying o mata ne before I was rudely interrupted by my rodent-dreaming friend, anyway

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