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These are Miscellaneous Quotes. Course-related quotes are in /PartIIQuotes and /PartIIIQuotes.
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David: Nought is extremely zero, but infinity's just very large.
Paul (re: waking up at 2am wondering whether he answered a question correctly): So I turned and thought about it for a while...
Robert: Which way did you turn?
Paul: Well, my axis was horizontal, and I rotated anti-clockwise seen from the head.
Chris: You remember which way you were rotating?
Paul: It's the direction I usually turn in.
David: Ah, so you're not time-reversible?
Robert: Oh dear, you guys aren't German enough.
Sue: My shoulders feel drunk.
James: There's one in my room, if you need it.
Robert: What, a frying pan or an arse? <this statement was in context for a wider context>
Chris: So long as it fits and has a flat bottom, I don't mind. <In my defense, I missed the previous line>
Robert: I've spent a lot of time with a screensaver late at night before.
Chris: How's your wind control?
Robert: Pretty good if I fire at full power.
Paul: I discovered Gibbons in one of my books this morning.
Robert: I'm going to be thinking about protons the next few times I waltz. [Kudos to anyone who can tell me why]
Robert: My first doughnut experience was quite unpleasant.
Sally: You're not letting me euthanase your Malteasers!
Sally, to Chris: Can I eat your kidneys?
Tom: I woke up this morning feeling omnipotent.
Sally: Warwick were annoyed with us for eating their elephant.
NeilRoques: It's going to turn out that there's a fridge here, and a fridge here, and no-one inside them eating a banana.
Perhaps this should be another NokkyQuotes/GuessTheContext, except for those who I've told. Which is no wikizens, I think.
Sally: Tom, do you have a retractable dagger?
Tom: No, I use a rabbit.
This evening, DavidWaller? and I came up with the concept of a high-ranking clergyman writing the definitive piece of music for dancing a provocative French dance to, inspired by a large gun and utilising many instruments repeating the same theme at intervals.
This would be the Canon's canonical "Cannon" Can-Can canon.
David: Ouch! Stop eating my hair! Silly jointed tubes.
StuartFraser: I'm not sure as to how you'd manage to incite civil disobedience with cheese.
Anselm: It makes you go "Well, of course he has to dress up as a bat, and defeat villains with a boomerang".
Leader of our Effective Communications Course:
If anyone's got a good lubricator, tell me about it.
Output from a 3rd-party product self-test I'm running.
Handling method for test/1.0/shoot_foot failed:
XrlCmdError? 102 Command failed no gun to shoot foot with.
Passed around the company internal public folders:
Extract from an email on DataConnection?'s dress code:
The definition of our dress code will go back to the original non defined position.
The BBC is not doing well today...
BBC Newsreader: Mr Blair was in Warsaw, where he issued a passionate plea to the Polish people...
- Why quotable? Was he really in Iraq?
- The statement was factually correct. You just don't generally hear a 4th-order alliteration in a news bulletin.
BBC Interviewee: We must wonder whether the Sun newspaper has been leaked information from the FIB.
BBC Presenter: Bob Geldoff is back in Ethiopa, where he helped to raise 6 million pounds to help the starving of Africa.
More BBC stuff
Jeremy Paxman: You've got another set of Bonus Questions coming up, on horses.
Huw Edwards: The reaction in Washington has been different from that in other European capitals.
RadioTwo? news: Millions of leaflets [on what to do in an emergency] are being delivered to every home in Britain.
Woman on Steve Wright's show: Elton John please! He's very hard to get hold of, you can get him on eBay, but he's very expensive and then you have to pay postage.
Steve Wright: Jura is an island in which country of the UK?
Same woman: Spain.
Steve Wright: "Any Dream Will Do" is a song from which AndrewLloydWebber? musical?
Same woman: Jason and the Technicolour Dreamcoat.
Henry Blofeld: Oh yes, I was looking through the dressing-room keyholes this morning.
HenryBlofeld: In comes GermaineGreer? - er, Jermaine Lawson to bowl [...] slip of the tongue there, GermaineGreer? doesn't play cricket.
BillFrindall?: Although she is Australian, and eligible to play for England by residence.
Unidentified cricket commentator: This is probably the last few overs before lunch, so unless a wicket falls soon the break will be taken when that wicket falls, if it goes before the break.
Humphrey Littleton: [opening remarks on a Jazz? programme] Whatever happened to shrimps? It's one of those eternal questions that creeps up on you unawares.
AlanDedicote? (sp?): I'll give the travel now. It might not make much sense, as my mouth has been anaesthetised with pepperoni.
Channel4 not saying quite what they meant:
Voiceover: The arrival of Supernanny couldn't come a moment sooner.
Daily Telegraph subhead: 20 years of distrust cast aside after Lockerbie and WPC Fletcher.
And I thought they were the cause of the distrust....
Quest description in KnightsOfTheOldRepublic?: You must cleanse a meditation grove to the south-east of the dark taint that has been infecting it.
Conversation in Morrowind. "Hortator" is a title assigned to a war-leader who will unite the three Great Houses. I need to get the requisite counsellors to vote me in. I ask about this:
Mistress Therena: ...it's a steel box, of course. You keep things like bittergreen roots in it, keeps 'em fresh, with a little netch blood. Or is that a hormador? Yes. Or spiders. In the box. Spider eggs. Keeps 'em fresh. With netch blood. You wouldn't have any with you, eh? Spider eggs? Nice fresh ones? So, go ahead. Show me the hordador. Hormador? You got it with you? Always happy to get some fresh spider eggs. Or spiders? When I was a MUCH younger, we grew our own spiders...
Me: <Listen politely.>
Mistress Therena: ...In hormadors. Big ones. Needed 'em big, for the spiders. What? Spiders? You listening? Spiders. That's what I said. Big ones. So you need a big hortator. Ours was steel, with silver plating. Kier-jo used to polish it. Cute little kitty. Had it since it was a bitty kitty. Gone now, of course. Dropped dead. They get old, and you have to get new ones. Never quite as good as the old ones, of course, but what can you do. Oh! There you are, Vanderro! What was your name again? Are you listening to me?
Me: <Continue to listen politely.>
Mistress Therena: [Mistress Therana continues to chatter amiably, with no sign of stopping. She looks like she could go on forever.]
Me: <Stubbornly continue to listen politely.>
Mistress Therena: [Yes, indeed. Sustained as she is by the necromantic arts, it may be that she can, in fact, go on forever. Chattering amiably. Without stopping. Ever.]
And from Oblivion...
Raminus Polus: I wouldn't ask you to do this if I didn't think it was urgent or beyond your capabilities.
Departure Board at Prague Airport:
Departure Time - Code - Destination - Status
1415 - FLT 0834 - Uherske Hradist - Departed 1230
Seen on a shop window displaying ladieswear:
Men and Sports also available inside
Entry on [[Wanadoo]]'s news headline ticker:
Artic meltdown gathers pace.
Remark from Multiverse - the MagicTheGathering database of development notes - stating the blindingly obvious
4/30: Holy crap can John Avon draw a land.
Random man in car myself and DavidWaller? were passing
Man: Excuse me, are you two LatterDaySaints??
CH & DW?: Er, no...
Man: Ah, sorry. You look a bit like them, I mean they go around in pairs and are quite smartly dressed.
Sig seen on a web forum
Christmas comes but once per 31.6887 nHz cycle
Seen on a road sign in Hertfordshire:
Singal file traffic.
Mandy: He has three kids, from teenage down to 7 years old, so he's got his hands cut out.
From a church notice advertising a practical parenting course
Sessions 1-4: Over-acting principles...
Seen attached to a lamp
If the supply cord is damaged the luminaries must be destroyed.
On the college-branded bottled water at St Catherine's College
Purified by the Classic Crystal Method... this bottle contains water that has a clarity and taste that is unbeatable.
Vitenka: [09:12] Well, it was fairly obvious something had gone wrong - you spent a minute running headfirst at a wall then vanished.
AlexChurchill [10:06]: [...] you have to kill people with an infinite amount of infinitely large donkeys once. I wouldn't do it again.
Seen on a toy-grabbing game at a motorway services, apparently criticising my free use of technical jargon:
A PRIZE EVERY TIME! YOU CANT LOOSE!
Seen in IKEA, on bedroom furniture
Fits most 42' flat panel TVs!
Seen on a roadside billboard
M J Church
Skips for you
At home or work
On the local ASDA charity tokens board
Melksham Deliberator Fund (note - they supply devices for administering electric therapy for cardiac arrhythmias)
Paul has finally started to say odd things.
Paul: Right ears are a GoodThing.
Paul: For this, you really need to have only one hand.
Paul: Let's do this to a count. AhAhAhAh.