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Source of these is unknown. They were in the CURS secretary folder passed on to StuartFraser by Sally (as opposed to the CURS secretary folder passed on to StuartFraser by Edith).

Player: "I write my name on the wall in bullets"
-GM: *rolls dice* "Is your name "oogleboogle"?"
-Player: "Err, No"
-GM: "Then you don't manage it."

"These are War Dogs!"
- "Oh, right. Then what do you keep them for?"
-[pauses]"War!"

"So you want to create radioactive vampires?"
-"From Mars!"
"And then you're going to flood the Nosferatu with toxic waste?"
-"From Mars!"
"And then you're going to eat a Snickers?"
-"You bastard"
WorldOfDarkness

"Where did the church come from? Please, somebody explain!"
-"Well, in the beginning there was the Word..."

"Nice cathedral you've got here. Shame if something were to happen to it."
-"No! We are not going to try and extort money from the Church of Rome!"
-"Why not? They've been doing it to everybody else!"

"Please stop inventing background at me."

"For does it not say in the Book of Pepsi that he who is grasping at straws for things to name books after will have to shut up eventually."

"We shall have noonday prayers"
-[significant pause]
-"At noon."

"I think you should check your luggage when you get back to your room."
-"Why? Do you think they've been bugged by the Illuminati, operating under the aegis of the cult of Mithras?"
-"No, I think they've been bugged by the police, because you're a murder suspect."
-"Oh, -that-...."

"Look, I have Electronics skill 9, what is it?"
-"It's definitely electronics."

"No, you're just a group of unrelated people thrown together on the run from a cruel empire for crimes you didn't commit, it's not like Blake's 7 at all."
-"Will you be giving us the ship later, then?"
-"Maybe."

"I'll write the complete works of Shakespeare and sell them to him for an autographed copy of Mein Kampf!"
-"But this is the fifteenth century, Mein Kampf hasn't been written yet."
-"Even better, I'll write Mein Kampf and sell it to Hitler in 1936 for a signed copy of the complete works of Shakespeare!"

"What's that skill called? Oh yes, 'mystical bollocks'."
-"Isn't that an AD&D magical item?"

"OK, roll to see how mystical your bollocks are."

"OK, we'll go and book the Queen of Atlantis into the Ritz. We'll meet you back at the time machine...by the way, where DID you park the time machine?"
-"It's on the sixth floor of the NCP...you know, the one next to the refectory."

"I have great respect for the cult of ecstasy... they're such dedicated seekers after truth, they leave no turn unstoned."

"To you Technomancers, subtlety is just an eight-letter word beginning with S, isn't it?"
-"Computer, cross-reference the word subtlety with number of letters."
-[pause]
-"Yes."

"She's a sarcastic, paranoid, devious, manipulative, over-educated, caffeine-crazed, cynical control freak!"
-"So you're telling me she's a mage?"
-Yes. [-Ilanin]

"Kindly postpone the apocalypse for a few minutes, my nail varnish is still wet."

"If I'm going to save the world I should look halfway presentable, not like something the Bastet dragged in."

"Hello, is that ABC cabs?
-[gunfire, screams] 
-"We'd like to book a getaway taxi, and a second one so the people behind us can shout "follow that cab!"

"This is degenerating into Carry On Up The Covenant"

"Oh, you want the great Covenant of Sagres! This is the mediocre Covenant of Sagres - it's just down the road."
Can someone define "covenant" in this context?
ArsMagica - it's a building full of mages and their attendants.  Same derivation as the thing  that holds nuns but somewhat different effects.  Given that ALL RPG quotes need context, can we have the WhiteWold? ones back, perhaps mark the game system where knowledge is required, or just a StandardDisclaimer? of YouAreNotExpectedToUnderstandThis?  --Vitenka

"Old covenants are full of entire wings of bricked up labs of old mags. It's the Chernobyl approach to twilight."
ArsMagica

"I think we should have a look at the room they think is a lab."
-"I think we should have a look at the door and take some bricks."
ArsMagica (though it doesn't need to be)

"I said we should throw Julius to the wolves, not leap off the sleigh after him!"

Image: 46 "Why would we want to topple the tower into the sea?"
-"If it floats, it's guilty."
ArsMagica

Image: 46 "Laudus, have you made our door invisible?"
-"Well...yes."
-"Laudus, why have you made our door invisible?"
-"It seemed like the best way of stopping them from leaving."
-"Laudus, we have grogs underneath us. I shall teach you a new spell: you simply turn to a grog, say 'stop that man', and that man is stopped. It is a great and wonderful power. And now, Laudus, I think it would be positive for the covenant if the door returned to visibility."
ArsMagica

Priest1: "What are you doing, you idiot?"
-Priest2: "Erm, performing the last rites."
-"I've already done that, now you're in trouble."
-"Why? Two rites don't make a wrong, do they?"
-[groan]
-GM:"That was terrible! Lose an exp."

"Zey have made von crucial mistake! Zey assume ve are competent!"

"Don't think of me as an amoral sex-crazed maniac, think of me as the beginning of a beautiful cult"

"Do you think I'm stupid?"
-"Make a 'Notice Obvious' roll."

"OK, you're all trapped down the mine, and two of you are half dead. Time for a musical interlude."

"I see, out of character you're eating a chocolate muffin but in character you're eating a grapefruit. Is this a roleplaying diet?"

"I don't understand! She seems to have lost all sense of self-preservation!"
-"Yes, she became a player character."

"YOU WANT THE TRUTH? YOU WANT THE TRUTH? (pauses) I CAN'T REMEMBER THE TRUTH!"

"So who has the dark secret in their past that explains this?"
-[everyone turns to GM]: "Him"

PC:"He wishes to unleash the darkness?"
-Enigmatic NPC: "Yes"
-PC: "Time to play with his light switch again!"

"They know we're coming now..."
-"I should hope so! It would be terribly embarrassing if we arrived at the villain's secret headquarters and they were all out."

"I have a bicycle, and I'm not afraid to use it!"

"What about the traitors?"
-"It's all right, we set a bicycle on them!"
-"I don't think that will be enough..."
-"What do we need then...a tricycle?"

"I'm impersonating myself! I summarily execute myself for treason!"

"The magic has drained from the bracelet. It's just a bracelet of hanging on your arm now."

"Having moved into the real world, you now have to roleplay going to lectures."

"No, that's not a plot, it's a rake. A plot is a connected series of events. A rake is a gardening implement. There's a subtle difference."

"There's a ghost in the covenant!"
-"Are you sure it's not an albatross?"
-"Hmm...is it a disembodied spirit rattling its chains or a huge bird with a 13-foot wingspan? I wonder if I'd have noticed the difference!?"
-"Are you sure it's not an invisible albatross?"

"We need a plan. Preferably one that doesn't involve disguising a tank as a bush."

To be continued...(14 more pages to come!)

ChessyPig's Character is introduced to Santa Claus
Santa: Ho Ho Ho
- ChessyPig: Excuse me kind sir, is this your tentacle?
- GM(Edith): [Has Fit]



These are but a fragment of the great CURS quotes archive of old, now all but forgotten. For those who seek the original in all its majesty, to you I say, seek the External Officer, for she has knowledge of such things. And I've lost my copy. - tjm
Wow... some of these are *good* :):)  --AlexChurchill
Yeah - some of them are very good.  They're mostly from the (in)famous CommitteeGame? but they need to be preserved for posterity.  Here's one from a one-off that I don't know if it go preserved.  --Vitenka
Yes. Some people only quote things that are worth quoting, as opposed to anythign anybody says which sounds a bit odd. Or even which doesn't. And if you manage to find the external officer do tell us that she's alive.  --ChiarkPerson
StuartFraser hates to disappoint, but he's exercising editorial privileges and cutting the quotes which just aren't funny and/or those which require understanding of WorldOfDarkness to be funny. This may explain things....
Do you know anyone who quotes "anything which sounds a bit odd"?  I don't think I know anyone that bad... --AC
I refer you to any of the 'Nokky' pages of this Wiki. Or say StuartFraser/SecondYearQuotes  (what is funny/interesting about 'If you don't believe me, go and climb a hill and find out'? In a lecture titled "Electromagnetism?-SF). Or StuartFraser/FirstYearQuotes, which includes such side-splitting gems as 'I think life's about fifteen pounds', 'There's no such thing as 80p' and 'The third way to dance this is on your own with a partner'. Ah, the hilarity!
Edith.  Haplo.  Heck, me.  The cires of 'quote!' whilst enjoyable often wreck atmosphere in a game - and when they don't, it means some of the best stuff never gets written down.  If I could get it to work, I'd advise a tape recorder.  I'd have to say a lot of those mostly suffer from a lack of context - I guess they are funnier if you know the situations and people involved (I only 'get' a small fraction of them)  --Vitenka (my dictaphone eats batteries like nobunnies business)
I did learn to cry 'quote!' during games from you. I also learned to make someone else write down quotes from the same game... --Edith
Perhaps someone with CopiousFreeTime could categorise the quotes by the knowledge necessary to understand them? I'm sure there are more than enough WorldOfDarkness quotes in the full list to fill a subpage or seven.... - tjm
StuartFraser sighs. I wasn't quoting the ones I didn't understand. I will add that I know nothing about ArsMagica at all, and very little about WorldOfDarkness. I will happily add the setting for any quotes where I recognise it. I would, however,  claim that the majority of my Exalted quotes (including those [here]) don't need context. Even for those that do, it's probably because I've used an in-game term rather than needing to know much plot.
Is [CURS/Quotes/WorldOfDarkness] a valid wiki pagename? ...clearly not. CURS/WorldOfDarknessQuotes? or CURSQuotes/WorldOfDarkness? then, perhaps? - tjm

"You tried to kill me!"
"No I didn't.  If I was trying to kill you, I'd use the dagger (brandishes the letter opener) I was using the piece of wood with a nail through the end."
{splutters}

CURS/BlissStageQuotes for your amusement. - ElliottBelser

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