ec2-18-207-240-230.compute-1.amazonaws.com | ToothyWiki | NokkyQuotes | RecentChanges | Login | Webcomic ( Back to /February2003 )( Up to NokkyQuotes )( Forward to /April2003 ) Rating system in use. Please feel free to browse these quotes from the [Edit] page rather than normal viewing. If there are quotes you feel are particularly good, prepend a star symbol to the start of them by typing Image:46 in the editor. If there are quotes you feel are particularly bad, prepend a ~ symbol. Those with several stars will at some point be collected to form a Best Of. Those with several ~s may at some point be removed. Please don't cancel the symbols out: something with " ~~ " is more informative than if it had no markings.
mike: What noise do insects make when they have a read error? - alex: Dictionary!
~~ alex: Stellated dodecahedra... nyehehehehe...
~dave to mike: Yes, you would take the kettle from the fridge and drink from it, wouldn't you?
rob: It seems that Ben has selectively removed some of the junk to make the place less tidy!
alex: No, it's just that sometimes I have to torture people with my falsetto.
[W] sunkitten: We will follow the opinions of the masses, or we would if they had any.
alex: Cow's the horse? - james: The horse is great, it's very difficult with my eyes.. But I'm doing my best
alex: I would have loved that job - to record twenty squeaks of a Comic Relief nose, and listen to them to choose which was the absolute best
mike: I could argue that the Argos catalogue is a subset of eyes, but I think it would be pointless
serge: Wow, the amount of fun you can have with a drawing of a rubber duck!
douglas, recording numbers from a Chinese takeaway menu: You expect an ornamental Chinese dragon to rise out of the menu when you get the correct numerological combination
~ mike: If I were making myself beautiful in a hurry, I don't think I'd bother with lipstick...
alex: Travelling to an alternate universe - it's the only way to find mountains around Cambridge
elara: I've never met cross-dressers before - satsuki: Well they're not yet, but we're working on it...
~alex: I'm sure Morag's capable of drawing the human shoulderblade - morag: Well yes, but I can't picture it from the inside
alex: There's a lot of nutters on the web. (Oh yeah - I'm one of them...)
mike: You are always free, and sometimes even welcome, to say baa, Alan.
~ alan to zoë: You're always telling me about the virtues of sheep, so I thought I'd emulate them so that I can understand them a lot more.
alan: My brain is even more knotted than usual... perhaps I need Nagi to make me another dimension to get knotted in...
alan: Cows don't mind buying anything that's a non-cow as long as it is also a non-real-animal... but they don't mind buying real cows obviously...
sunkitten: There's something for everyone on the wiki. Except BlueElephants.
~~ mike: So you take my sheets away from me, and then set one of them up with one of your sheets??
~~ alex: Every day's an adventure with a Personal Laserwriter
alex [re the question "Are you hungry"]: Hungry has a different meaning when pudding is involved... it has the meaning "yes" when pudding is involved
alex: You'd have people all over the country making faces at their radio on the hope of political impact
alex: B-mail - is that "bike-mail" or "bovine mail"? - mike: It could be some kind of cross-species technology, given that Josh has received messages from his bike...
alex to peter: You having the hand grenade on the table rather complicates matters
alex: You can't drive around in a suit... well you can, but the suit won't drive you around [Unless it's a GiantFightingRobotSuit, of course]
naomi to rob: You have a hexagonal nose!
~matthew higgins: Why is there strawberry jam on your computer? - david: It makes it go faster.
~alan: I don't talk to cows, I moo at them. Get it right! - david: Well, it's quite normal isn't it? Mooing at cows?
david: So, what is the height of civilisation? - alan: About 3 foot 2.
mike: Lest you be worried, no I haven't turned into Morag.
rob to mike: You're just going to leave the threat hanging... sort of mutually assured embarrassment.
rob: Alex, what colour is your hair? - alex: It crashes every 3 hours
naomi: Hello, you're Morag
Who was this said to? If it was to Morag, it's not that funny, surely?
alan: Have you seen an invisible coffee drinker? - mike: By definition, no.
~~alan: Celly (Belly's coffee digesting cousin) has obviously been under a misconception...!
~~alan to mike: Belly wants your virtual beef pie.
~douglas: I nominate my pet donkey for President
alex: I shall trade a thumb for a Dorito
chris: That which does not kill us... removes various limbs.
~~ alex: Yes, that's right, I shall derive my puffy properties, and sell them for people to build houses on!
~mike: Underwater Properties. Sounds like a bizarre estate agent.
alex re his LoanPhone: I might appreciate the cuteness of this phone, but my heart is given to Nokky. I won't be unfaithful. [This was before Nokky turned into the female Nokkette...]
mike: A cat which could swallow the whole world by mistake.
~ alex to mike: I'm sure you wanted to power your bike light off soft toys
alex: My brain is still trying to come up with a way in which dessert could have the texture of Cambridge University Science Fiction Society but slightly finer ground [To those who know how the SciFi Society is commonly pronounced, you ought to be able to work out the pun here]
~zoë: Hello spreadsheet, how are you today? I'm sorry you're not feeling too well today... I'm sorry you're overworked... I'm sure I can help Alan to delete all your data, or even cause a crash; I haven't caused a crash in a long time...
* click *
Is that better? - Oh you want longer asleep.. that's not a problem!
~~alan to matthew: Hmmm... I might just have to change the root password to my brain!
~~ rob: I'm not scared of my mum because she doesn't scare me. - mike: Both logical and completely useless - rob: But what did you expect?
mike: So what operating system does *your* brain run?
Mike: It's not so much the love of money, as the hatred of overdraft.
~~mike: Postmodernism and postnagiism should not be confused. - alex: You pass through trauma to get to them both, but the traumas are of rather different kinds
nagi: It's kinda hard to sunbathe when you don't have skin made of flesh!
alex: [My mind] is on its way out of the solar system. I have to go catch it, on my bike. - [...] - alex: Well if Nokky's my bike, then he's certainly capable of interstellar flight... - mike: Why did you put Nokky away? - alex: Because he's shy about being capable of interstellar flight!
mike: Does this frequently happen to people you know? - alex: What, drifting into an alternate universe and turning into planets? Yeah, every now and then...
mike: It'd be quite good to be able to hack into some*one*
dave to mike re alex: Could you do something about him? I was thinking about death. - alex: I was about to offer you a jellybaby. Could you retract the thing about death? - dave: Okay. - alex: [reaches for jellybaby packet]
mike: I had a sudden mental image of a giant jellybaby heading for earth...
alex: There's a large neon sign above my head which I can turn on, saying "silent contempt and scorn it deserves".
[D] alex: All I can say is that it's better than the dental concept of mental iniquity. - mike: Err?! - alex: Actually, that's not *all* I can say. I can also say "Would you like a jellybaby?"...
alex to mike: Close your mouth, you'll let the TrojanRabbit? in
~mike: Lead piping might not be very good for thickening my solutions, but a suspicious white powder might well be
~mike: What's so heroic about scooping some ice-cream? - alex: "Thunderbirds are ice-cream!"
mike: I don't recall ever being hungry enough to eat a table. - alex: I'd have thought you'd find it hard to forget being hungry enough to eat a table...
mike: If you could refrain from igniting my T-shirt, this would be... preferred. - alex: [thinks for a few seconds] ...How boringly conventional...
~ rob: I'm going to get some water. In a glass, not my hand. Because that tends to be more effective.
mike [re a proposed abbreviation for Diploma in Computer Science]: DipSci?? That sounds like a Russian Teletubby!
~rob: I don't want moles to be attracted to me!
~[misheard by milan]: mike to jenny: How does it feel to be sharing your room with... - alex: A phonetic beetle? [alex actually said: An aggressive Beetle]
milan: I am not sure what the answer to your question is because I am not sure what the question is. If the question is what I think it is then I don't know the answer.
~mike: Why is there a Volkswagen Beetle on my back? [There was!]
milan: I smell a rat. Which is shaped like a road.
stephen: I don't *think* the blood of innocent people can be used as a flu remedy - nagi: That's no reason not to try!
dave: Unless of course you're twelve years old and female - phil: I don't *think* I qualify for that
alex (sung under breath): It's my hobbit, you can stop if you want to.
~nagi: I never knew that - that's why I didn't know it
dave: D'you get a lot of lobotomised gnats round your place? - nagi: Quite a few, yeah... - dave: Chess-playing ones? - nagi: No, only a select few play chess.
alex [affrontedly]: There's a non-zero chance of an elephant spontaneously appearing
mike: I think my own personal SpaceTime is definitely screwed up!
~~robert: I don't think it's *actually* Church of England policy to kill off its parishes
~~angela: I have this feeling of "I can't take this any more. I'm going to go now. Bye!" ...Which can make conversation rather difficult!
~nia: My room doesn't usually eat things. [...] - mike: In contrast to my room, I suppose
~zuza: I'm pleased with myself for giving up sugar for Lent - angela: You've only been doing it for about a minute!!
~~ alan: It can't be that expensive to bug everybody on the planet...!
~~ alan: Hmmmm... teeth should not be ransomed...
matthew b: Creating offspring which have a genetic tendency to tear their own arms off isn't good for the gene pool
~~mike to alan: Unless you know something I don't, teddy bears are not capable of encoding messages and transmitting them as radio waves.
~simon booth: But... you can't feed pancakes to pandas - that would be cannibalism!
~~ alex: No, they eat oxygen and excrete carbon dioxide, and the others excrete carbon dioxide and eat oxygen. - mike: Erm..?! - alex: [realises what he just said] ...And the *other* others....
chris: My standard introduction is "Hi, I'm Chris... I will forget that"
alex: It appears a certain sprite friend of ours has started up a German board games company - mike: Despite being imaginary? - alex [correcting]: Despite not existing in precisely this universe
milan [absentmindedly messing about with a milk bottle]: It's autopilot cheesemaking!
anna: I'm going to a seminar in chemistry - via a shop that sells plasticine. Some may do advanced viscosity studies with hair gel and toothpaste; my X-ray diffractometry requires plasticine and a paperclip.
~mike: Maybe Nokky's on a low-bubblewrap diet. That would explain it.
alex: You are free to bring as much or as little bubble wrap as you wish, as long as it's measured in metric tonnes
~mike: When you are telling me I can bring ten tonnes of bubblewrap, I have my doubts in the absence of a lorry
alex: It would be interesting to see... imploding sheep without the quote marks... - serge: If you add quote-marks to the sheep, they don't implode! [I *meant* doing a Google search for "imploding sheep" without the quote marks... sigh...]
~~ angela to alex: You could say "I've been headhunted by my wife!"
dave: It's the Final Countdown! I need my poodle wig...