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Rating system in use.  Please feel free to browse these quotes from the [Edit] page rather than normal viewing.  If there are quotes you feel are particularly good, prepend a star symbol to the start of them by typing Image:46 in the editor.  If there are quotes you feel are particularly bad, prepend a ~ symbol.  Those with several stars will at some point be collected to form a Best Of.  Those with several ~s may at some point be removed.  Please don't cancel the symbols out: something with "Image: 46 ~~ Image: 46" is more informative than if it had no markings.
It also happens to look like a JapaneseSmiley? of someone very very happy

Tue29.4.03


stuart: Killing Alex would be the next step
- tom: Killing Alex would be traditional

tom: Can I point out that well over 100 zombies were harmed in the making of this game.

Image: 46 tom: I'm about to die messily. I don't really mind...

Image: 46 alex to matthew v:  If you don't want a jellybaby by choice, would you like to be force-fed a jellybaby?

Mon28.4.03


alex: The lifetime of a jellybaby is ephemeral. The lifetime of jellybabies is eternal.
It's a reference to the flavour text on http://www.wizards.com/magic/autocard.asp?name=Fecundity

alex: Having lots of carrots with no apparent reason has got to be a good thing

dave: I never thought I'd feel sorry for a tiger tank, but there you go.

(dave? alex? someone?): Oh dear, bishounen on the roof! We can't handle that!!

dave: [A moustache] would probably taste rather similar to a beard
- alex: Unless you'd been applying flavoured lipbalm to your beard...

alex to mike: Did you tell Rob that his beard belonged to a cult leader?

mike: Since my bike stays inside, most of the time, I think it's safe from developing writing skills

mike: I do not care about myself, but don't hurt my coffee! ...No! Don't quote me! You'll damage my coffee's reputation if you quote that - stop it!

Image: 46 alex: You prefer your coffee in the washing-up to anywhere else?! What kind of caffeine addict *are* you?!

mike: There's no such thing as a castor universe?
- alex: Well, there's no such thing as an icing sugar universe.
- mike: There is, it's called Disneyworld...
- alex [starry-eyed]: Oooh! Does that mean the particles of Disneyworld keep subdivising and subdivising?! Ooooooohhh...

Image: 46 mike: You're not a Microsoft product, are you?
- alex: [pauses for thought] ... ...If I am, then there's something my parents haven't told me!

alex to mike: Whether any word I say to you has actually come from my *brain* is another matter...

alex: How much wood would a plywood ply if a plywood could ply wood?

mike: So who have we got lined up for our RockPaperScissors tournament, then? Me, Zelgadis and Edward Scissorhands, as far as I can tell...

rob to mike: I didn't know you had paper hands!

Sun27.4.03


serge: You could change your name to Deed Poll

Image: 46 naomi: I think it's very much a Cambridge thing, this "Rah, let's throw pasta at the ceiling" thing...

angela: I know something about Serge that the rest of you don't
- mike: Does it involve knickers?
- naomi: [simultaneously]  Does it somehow connect him to my knickers?

alex: Nagi used to be the South Park Movie incarnate. He's now half-way between the South Park Movie incarnate and complex algebraic Riemann surfaces incarnate

[D] angela to serge: What do you circumvent?
- serge: Me? DVD protection...

mike: It depends whether the congregation of any given church can be described as a mob
- serge: Or a frock.

rob: ...I'm speechless.  ...Not just because I can't spell...

alex to rob: Are there any prophecies on the wiki about horsemen?

Image: 46 serge: It's dangerous to cycle with only one hand on the steering wheel

Sat26.4.03


matthew: Cutting worms in half doesn't usually happen to music

Image: 46 rob: Unfortunately that hymn book doesn't have "grep"

angela to mike: How did Zoë grill you?
- morag: On a stick over a fire - How'd'you expect?!

mike: I'm sure between us, we must know enough wacky preachers to do a sermon on "one body many cheeses", and actually make it worth listening to...!

rob: That's ridiculous. [an idea strikes] ... ...Unless...!
- alex: What, the complex axis has temporarily got itself superimposed onto your staircase?!

mike: This brain is infected with the Mornings virus! I definitely want a replacement one...

Fri25.4.03


naomi: It's like if Rob had the same personality, but could remember twice as much. And was suddenly female...

Image: 46 mike: The chances of me being awake and alert at 8 in the morning are very slim
- zoë: The chances of you being *either* awake *or* alert are small enough, so both happening at the same time is very unlikely!

mike to alex: Alex, church towers are not mobile phones...

mike to alex: In which alphabet does the letter "coffee" appear?

alex to nat [by way of farewell]: I look forward to maybe balancing a banana on you on the 3rd of June!

mike to alex: Cathedrals don't usually have digestive organs of any kind

nat: Unfortunately I'm entirely eclipsed by a jazz bassist from the 1920s

serge: I once spent an entire evening saying "Bloooooddd" at someone. With them saying the same thing back at me...
- simon: You really did graduate in Computer Science, didn't you?

mike to serge: You're molesting Rob's bike!
- alex: Only in ways it's designed to be molested...

Image: 46 angela: Where's Alan?
- mike: He's in Budapest.
- angela: What's he doing?
- mike: He's at a wedding.
- angela: Is it a cow?
- mike: Uuhhh...
- angela [calls]: Alex! Alan's marrying a cow!
- alex: [comes thru from the corridor] Yes?
- angela: Alan's marrying a cow!!
- alex: Sorry, is this news?

mike: How do they get a square chunk of pig in the first place?

Get the cool! Get the cool shoeshine!

Thu24.4.03


angela: I'm very naughty. I'm so naughty that my database has gone off the page.

Image: 46 alex: Can you imagine being called Xerxes Keith and saying, "I'm going to have five sons... and I'm going to call them all John!!"
- angela: That's a really good idea...

Wed23.4.03


alex: He's set fire to the world!  Oh well, fair enough.  What can you do?

tony: I think I am becoming allergic to my house.

Image: 46 alan: A lack of coffee would be like a Mike with normal hair.

[W] kazuhiko: Kazuhiko is now suffering from images of AlexChurchill making TARDIS sound effects as he fades into and out of SpaceTime

Sun20.4.03


alex: I don't think you should marry anyone who isn't terrifying

GreenOpal: Unfortunately, I'm not a ten-year-old girl

Image: 46 ian: "Congratulations, Mrs Renton, it's a boy! Now we have to go and teach him about spiny starfish..."

Image: 46 GreenOpal [imitating the voice of the queen]: "Would you like to join me for a death-contemplating honey cashew nut of doom?"

will: There's a high turnover of restaurants around here...?
- mike: Yes, a giant apple turnover replaces all restaurants after a while, didn't you know?
Image: 46 - will: [types into his phone and shows to mike: "Silent contempt and scorn"]

alex: Ah, I see you have the machine which goes "(BEANS) Ting!"
- ant: I wish I did...

Sat19.4.03


james: Only to my trained eye. Which is [indicates] this one! It spent three weeks in camp. While the other one spent three weeks straight

Fri18.4.04 (Good Friday in Bournemouth)


alex: Home on the range, yes. Home on the cooker, no.

Image: 46 vic: See a cake - sit on it! It's a natural reaction...

Thu17.4.04


kenton: I remember my first year [at university]. You could store 185 megabytes! ...On a two thousand four hundred foot tape...

alan: I don't believe I have any metaphors for relations... my parents /seem/ human... no metaphoric tendencies that I'm aware of... - Are you related to any metaphors Mike?!

alan: Mooing is surely a universal sign of great significance no matter who is doing the mooing surely?!

alan: Mooing is the ultimate conversation stopper

Image: 46 Image: 46 Image: 46 Mooning is the ultimate conversation stopper  --ChiarkPerson

Wed16.4.03


~ alan: A terrifying thought... Lots of compscis wearing argos uniforms...

Image: 46 alan: The cows allow me to talk to cats based on the uncertainty principle in that D(t)=hbar/D(E) where E is the rest energy of the cat so they allow me to talk to smaller cats for a longer time than they allow me to talk to bigger cats.

alex to mike: I imagine Morag and Serge might object to you permanently stealing some of their floor...
- morag: No!
- alex to mike: Cool! You appear to have been granted permission to permanently steal some of Morag and Serge's floor!

Image: 46 alan: I think Nokkette should be renamed Nokketta because...
- mike: It sounds more like an ice cream?!
- alan: Err, yes!

Tue15.4.03


Image: 46 rob: I keep getting all this spam that says "I vote for this proposal. Pink fish."

Mon14.4.03


[W] vitenka: As a rule, I like to have SOME idea of the identity of those I corrupt

alex: It would be arrogant in the extreme to think that I could be the *only* source of such haddock levels.

Image: 46 Image: 46 rachel: I woke up and saw the clock was blank, and thought "I'm sure it wasn't like that when I went to sleep"
- alex: Well, maybe time had ceased in the intervening.. ...um...

anna: Oh no! I'm being given chocolate - that's not being persecuted!

Sun13.4.03


[W] TheInquisitor: Of the one relationships I have ever been involved in ending, about 0.5 ended here.

mike: He constructed a sheeplike object out of various vegetables and presented it to her.  I don't quite remember how the gloves featured.

Sat12.4.03


dave: Yes, there is a pork chop on the wall. It's currently masquerading as a clock.

Image: 46 Image: 46 douglas to an asleep-looking alex: Alex? Am I interrupting a dream?
- dave: I think we always are, with Alex

douglas: My trousers are now a web browser

douglas to alex: Doesn't your princess's mouth unhinge?

mike: I don't think it's necessary to become an anime fan having been to Japan
- morag: Heretic! Get out now!

morag: The idea of a universal Daffy Duck does not fill me with pleasure.

Image: 46 ~ rob [reading a magazine article quote]: "Explaining why the brazil nuts always rise to the top of muesli" - wow, I've got to read this one!

alex: Maybe Mike was playing a game with me and the pizza as pawns, but I didn't know it
- mike: Chess with pizzas - cool!

mike: Rob's elephants and Alex's elephants are fighting with each other to get to the edge of the cliff
- [...]
- mike: It just shows you're both compscis, because you've tried to cross an elephant with a particular breed of lemming
- alex [incredulously]: Because only computer scientists would want to do that?!?

Fri11.4.03


mike: Having never been knocked out before, I wouldn't know how unconsciously attractive I am to females

Image: 46 mike: I'm afraid I can't see your invisible sign, because I'm on the phone

alex: Are you suggesting that tingh-ngh-ngh-ngh is a station on the London Underground?

alex: Shall we pray about whether to pour coffee over Moss Bros?

Image: 46 alex: Every now and then when I'm faced with a difficult puzzle like this one, I have to take my brain out and put it on a rack. Then I get a new one from the rack.
It really did make perfect sense in context. And it was also an awful pun, which you'll kick yourself if you read the /ContextFri11thApr03 before you get it.  BeWarned?.

[W] vitenka: Many fish are also fish

Thu10.4.03 (Games + Puddings)


bill: Saddam Hussein, and his rival New Labour

phil: Weddings...
- alex [getting married in less than 4 months]: Waste of money!
- hazel [getting married 8 days before alex]: I second that!

steve: Black holes, I don't think have any particular evil intent

Image: 46 kenton: Football fans, they're with Adolf Hitler and the punk rockers

phil: Is electricity delicate? Not if you tie yourself to a pylon, that's not delicate

elaine to steve: I had a panic Monday night, but you weren't here, so I saved it till Tuesday night...
Ooh, I wonder if this is the Steve and Elaine that I know... --M-A
They lead a CityChurchCambridge CellGroup?. They have two teenage kids.  Yesno?  --AlexChurchill

Wed9.4.03


Image: 46 mike: I thought I'd started to understand what you meant when you said weird things, Alex
- alex: Ho, ho, ho! How you underestimate me...

morag: The triumph of technology!
- alex: We have socks...

alex to mike: Hitting people rather than coal with pickaxes...! Unfortunately, there are no pickaxes here. So I'll have to hit you with cushions instead.

Tue8.4.03



alan: I've just imagined a computer connected to the net being flushed down the toilet and dragging the whole of the rest of the internet with it

Mon7.4.03


Image: 46 Image: 46 mike: Niii-wom! Meow.
- alex: He's... a feline... Knight who says Ni.
- mike: Nii-eow.

alex: They ought to go together really, due to the bizarre combination of Beethoven and vegetables.
[The GemueseOrchester performing the end theme to DragonHalf...]

dave [staring a a cake]: Mmmm... power...

mike: Why anyone would want to hire a reprobate is beyond me
- dave: They have their uses...

alex: I'm flattered that you consider "Cheesenoise!" to be equivalent to Shakespeare, but I fear your literary criticism skills may not be usually recognised...

mike: The tunnel of doom is your hand
- alex: No, not my hand - Angela's...

Sun6.4.03


Image: 46 peter re rotating desk fans: They're rather useless even if you do have a rotating desk.

jeremy re andrew and anne's coming baby: You can tell [Andrew] is a software engineer - he's given [the bump] a codename until it comes out.

Fri4.4.03


serge: Presumably they grow and turn into a spaceship.  It seems to be quite common with JapaneseCats?.

morag: No, I do not want to read the ReadMe file! I've never read a ReadMe in my life, and I don't intend to start now!

Wed2.4.03


~alex: Are you saying genius is only genius when it works??

alex: So this is VHS videos made out of mushrooms?? Well, it would explain some things...
- douglas: The mushrooms are all in your mind...

Image: 46 alan: I hope for Nokky's sake that Anna and Jeremy don't get married again.
Excuse me? -Anna
Giggle.  AIUI, the context was that Nokky got severe indigestion over the course of that weekend, including the single day which has generated the most quotes ever in my 5 years of quote-collecting history.  Hence Alan's compassionate statement. He is known for being more considerate than most towards those whose sentience is not normally recognised...  --AlexChurchill

mike: Much of what we use in our lab is naturally occurring
- alan: And what about the rest?
- mike: It isn't!

mike to alan: Mine's obviously an academic belly and yours is obviously more of a business belly...
mike: How can Belly? be upright? He's sort of spherical.
- alan: He's upright in all three dimensions, then!

Image: 46 mike: So in what way is Nokky like the prime minister?
- alan: Oh no particular reason... I just wanted you to send a quote to Nokky so I could eat some crisps

mike: I was about to say that I can't really see Nagi in a Nokky...

matthew f to alan: Unfortunately she happens to be a mountain. I don't know about you, but I find mountains rather difficult to eat.

Tue1.4.03


alan: I just don't feel at one with this dataset



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