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DuctTapeAndTheForce is a word game played on this page. Each round is started by a Judge choosing two nouns, one more mundane than the other. Call the mundane one Y, the other one X.
The judge asks "Why is X like Y?", and sets a deadline for entries. Anyone who wishes to enter edits this page to add their entry (or sends their entry privately to the judge if they prefer). When the deadline expires, the judge chooses which is the best reason in his opinion. That person gets a point. Answers should be short - ideally just one phrase of the form "Because it's..." or similar.
- Each player may normally make only one entry to each round. However, that entry may consist of anything: one or more sentences or clauses, a photo, a link to a website, or whatever.
- An entry with multiple parts which don't seem connected may be less likely to win in many cases, since the judges often have preferences for succinctness or against what could feel like multiple attempts. However, this is at the judge's discretion. The judge may add comments or special criteria, or choose to relax any of the normal rules, in the description of their round.
- Once the round is finished and judged, further discussion of any form is allowed and encouraged, including (but not limited to ;) ) any of the contestants or the judge posting further ideas.
See also: [Pallando's DuctTapeAndTheForce Question Generator], and [qqzm's DuctTapeAndTheForce Replies Generator]
Deadline: 1:23pm on 20th August 2014
Multiple submissions permitted after the first 24 hours.
Why is a 50cm x 50cm sheet of perspex like the internet?
- Invented by brilliant scientists, built with space age technology, used for [storing cats]. --MoonShadow
- Both are mostly transparent but manage to obfuscate what goes on underneath --WeirDoe
- Both are smaller than the other --WeirDoe
- It's designed to be hard to break. --PeterTaylor
- Both can be a window to the world. --qqzm
Love them, but I think the top prize has to go to the one at the top. Point to MoonShadow
Deadline: 4.44pm on June 15th 2014
Let's try something a little different and flip this game on it's head in a round that we'll call EcrofEhtDnaEpattcud?... actually that's too hard to pronounce so let's shorten it to simply Ecrof. Rather than giving you a question I thought I'd give you an answer and ask you to come up with the best question!
Multiple submissions are welcomed, appreciated and are a sign that you spend far too much time thinking about this :)
The answer is...
Both are games where the rules could do with a few major changes!
- Why is espionage like Mao? --PT
- Why is Monopoly like the British political system? --AC
Excellent questions from PT and AC! Judging by the number of entries... I'm assuming my "interesting" rule change wasn't a popular one! :) Picking a winner hasn't been easy, but I think this one will need to go to AC for a combination of political satire and the game of pain that is Monopoly. Congratulations Alex and thankyou for bizarrely reminding me of "never get started" Monopoly! --Whistway
Deadline: End of Sunday 1st June 2014
Multiple submissions permitted after the first 24 hours.
Why is a text message like a piece of fruit?
- Loquat grape txts on my apple! --MoonShadow
- Both are rather inappropriate for communicating that someone is being dismissed from their employment. --Whistway
- Some are pithy and/or seedy. --Rachael
- No one gets five a day any more. --Rachael
- Yes, it [will blend]. --MoonShadow
- Enjoying either can begin by Blackberry picking. --Whistway
- Depending on the type... Some are more 'appealing' than others. --Whistway
- Only part of the full story. --mtb
Nice submissions all! I giggle at MoonShadow's second. Both of Rachael's are really very good, and the "five a day" very nearly got it. But I think the point has to go to Whistway's first, because I can actually picture some particularly bad employers keeping a tray of squishy oranges, and lobbing one at someone who they get fed up with... followed by a text spelling out the details... or something like that! --AC
- Thanks Alex, it's certainly a leadership style I've considered... However Watermelons do make more of an overall impact. --Whistway
Multiple submissions permitted.
Why is time like a fruit fly?
- If you're not careful how you spend your time, dross'll-fill-a large chunk of it. --CH
- [Drosophila]. Genius. --Admiral
- I know. Somewhat disheartening to have such a fantastic one so soon. --mtb
- It soon passes. --PT
- Both are not noticed until large amounts of them appear. --mtb
- I really like PT's dual meaning and mtb's actual noticed similarity, but for the sheer amount of pain inflicted it has to be a point to CH. --MoonShadow
Multiple submissions permitted.
Leaving aside the obvious Eurovision link which inspired this question, why is a phoenix like a moustache?
- nagi will happily set it on fire, yet it will return in full strength after a time. --MoonShadow
- Dumbledore has an impressive one. --Rachael
- There's only one of each in the PhoenixFeathers character pages --SunKitten
- One is [an illusion], while the other is [an illustration]. --Pallando
- Some people would run screaming from either. -- mtb
- Kissing either could give you a nasty burn. --CH
- Russian forests contain both. -- mtb
Fewer PhoenixFeathers references than I expected. Chris' wordplay is worth an honourable mention, but for me the clear winner is Moonshadow. --PT
- Oooh, thanks! --MS?
Prize: Two tubes of Smarties and a Mars bar.
Deadline: 10.36pm Wed 7th May 2014
Multiple submissions welcome and actively encouraged!
Why is a holiday like an essay?
- Both are better when fuelled by surges of mad creativity. Who needs planning? --SunKitten
- Undertaken by people in pursuit of more degrees. --Rachael
- Engineers forget how to do them. --Rachael
- Always too short. -- mtb
- Taking them away is always more pleasurable. -- mtb
- If done optimally neither ever gets to be rote. --WeirDoe
- Professors always assume you can do more during one than is possible. -- mtb
- When it's done, you feel that you need a holiday to recover. --PT
- Both are also like busses: you get a long period without any and then three come along at once. --PT
- You can get a computer-generated one for cheap, but it won't be as good as the real thing. --AC
Another excellent smorgasbord of answers and a difficult one to judge... Honourable mentions for the wonderful answers of Sunkitten, mtb and AC.
However on this occasion the pure genius of Rachael's 'degree' answer has given her well above the (--warning bad pun--) centre-grade. Point to Rachael! Congratulations! When I get back from my two weeks of sunny-holidayness, I will send you your prize (Two tubes of smarties and a mars bar) in the post :)
- Yay! Thank you! :) I will share a bit with AC and SunKitten; sadly mtb is too far away. --Rachael
- One of those things. Many of the interesting people live on the wrong continent. *sigh* --mtb
- Chocolate arrived today, thank you!
- My pleasure - Enjoy! :) --Whistway
Deadline: Wed 30th April 2014
Multiple submissions welcome
Why is a good pair of headphones like a fictional world?
- What are you listening to? Narnia business --SunKitten
- You can lose yourself in a creative base (bass) --Whistway
- Both look at a little strange under a woolly hat --Whistway
- You never want to go back to the regular sort. --MoonShadow
- The right disc can make them magical (One for the TerryPratchett fans!) --Whistway
- Because [Hamatora] --MoonShadow
- Hardcore fans seem to think they actually exist. --Rachael
- Without the Earth to ground us they could both be far more shocking! --Whistway
- Immersing yourself in either lets you escape reality for a little while. --Pallando
- When comparing them to what you have... Sometimes it Hz --Whistway
Wow, nice selection here. I particularly like MoonShadow's first, Whistway's third, and Rachael and Pallando's. But for the combination of a pun, actually quite a nice link between the two and the use of an SI unit, I think I'm going to have to award the point to Whistway's final effort.
Point to Whistway.
Deadline: Wed 16th March 2014
Multiple submissions welcome
Why is a sardine like a praying mantis?
- At some point, both are going to end up headless. --MaxDymond
- Not what you want to see if you open a tin of tuna. --AlexChurchill
- Where-ships involved... A net amount are captured in-sections. --Whistway
- Both were unsuccessful flavours of icecream. --Whistway
- Apparently anointed --Whistway
- Better with tomato sauce. --mtb
- Both get caught in nets or webs. --mtb
- About half of them end up in pizzas/pieces --Androidkiller
- Cats like to eat them. --Rachael
- One starts off spineless, the other ends up spineless. --mtb
- Both are an amusing addition to Easter Eggs if resealed inside before being given as a gift! --Whistway
I really enjoyed those suggestions especially Whistway's, I couldn't stop laughing. Several people got close to the phrase that my wife came up with to inspire this selection of words 'both are canable'. A point to Andriodkiller for his terrible pun though, well done!
Deadline: Fri 11th March 2014
Multiple submissions welcome
Why is a smartphone like a fried egg?
- They're both better with rounded corners --MaxDymond
- Both are never quite as good as they look. --Mtb?
- Having several at the same time is more than un œuf --WeirDoe
- Both are a smaller form of a larger system, sans a proper shell. --WeirDoe
- You can get access to both by cracking them. -- Mtb?
- Airline staff will discourage you from using either during the flight. --AC
- You can't install Linux on one yet, but give them time... --MS?
- You can use either one to fry the other. --MS?
- Both are frequently panned. -- mtb
- You can [wrap them in bacon], but don't microwave them. --DR
- Scramble improves on both of them -- Whistway (In honour of the game that Rachael plays against my wife!)
- Using a Cadburys Creme Egg for either is fun but impractical -- Whistway
- If you're not careful, you'll overdo it --PT
- People in America often aim to make them 'over-easy'.. --Whistway
- Both can be customised through the use of creative rings.. --Whistway
- Neither are that good on orange. --Whistway
Wow, yay! A true DuctTapeAndTheForce renaissance. These are all amazing - any one of them would be worthy of winning in the last dozen rounds or so. So many delightful puns and double meanings, none of which I foresaw: shell, cracking, fry, panned, Scramble (waves to Allie), overdo, over-easy, rings, orange - and some clever things which unexpectedly apply to both, and some good old surreal images. You've all egg-celled yourselves with your egg/cell puns (I didn't foresee that either, it only just occurred to me), and judging is going to be very difficult...
With honourable mentions to just about everybody, and an especially honourable mention to Whistway for the creative rings, I'm going to award the point to WeirDoe for "smaller form of a larger system, sans a proper shell." Congratulations WeirDoe for winning against amazigly strong competition!
OK, as that went so well, let's try this:
Why is a dalmatian like a power cut?
- Are multiple entries allowed?
- Sorry, only just spotted this. Yes, though I didn't specify and no-one did--PWF
- 101 using binary truth values = on, then off, then on --Pallando
- A spot of black interrupts the light. --AlexChurchill
- Either could be blamed for eating your homework. --Rachael
- Experiencing one at home would be fine... but 101 in a row would be truly barking and could create charging and subsequent running issues --Whistway
- Either can be used to secretly get rid of unwanted greens from your dinner plate. --qqzm
Deadline: 7pm on Monday 21st November 2011
Clever binary thinking by Pallando. Rachael and qqzm both made me giggle. I think qqzm gets it, by a nose. Dog biscuit to qqzm! --PWF
Rounds 99 - 100
As DTATF's creator, I think I should round off the first 100 rounds with the two questions that started it all off.
Why is Love like Gravity?
Deadline: 23:59 on Friday 11th November 2011
Rules: The answers "It holds down your heart" and "It makes the world go round" and simple variations thereon are forbidden. Multiple entries are allowed.
- Both create new bodies. --Pallando, whose new daughter is due in under 1 month's time.
- It's only when you fall that it's power and importance become so apparent --Whistway
- It brings you together. --AlexChurchill (or wait, in fact...)
- It has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together. --AlexChurchill
- A crazed Isaac Newton uses it to redirect fate. --MoonShadow
- It remains strong at large distances. --PT
- Aw! I like that :) --PWF
- It can get you soaring high, or bring you down with a bump. --PWF
- Splat! --Edith
Judgement: Excellent entries, all. I think an honourable mention to AC's second offering for sheer audacity that actually worked; however, the clear winner for me was PeterTaylor's - point to PeterTaylor!
Why is Duct Tape like The Force?
Deadline: 23:59 on Friday 11th November 2011
Rules: The answer "It has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together" and simple variations thereon are forbidden. Multiple entries are allowed.
- It holds the universe together and has a dark side and a light side. *sicks pedantic tongue out at judge* --Pallando
- Judge sticks it back.
- Suggesting to your girlfriend that you can fix her broken vase with either, does not provoke a positive reaction :)--Whistway
- (Said in a very poor imitation of Yoda) When first mastering it you wish... appealing you will find it and fully-wrapped up in it you become... guidance to carefully unravel the complexities you will need --Whistway
- It's helpful when things go wrong, but it's better to do them right in the first place so you don't need it. --AlexChurchill
- It only tells half the story. You can accomplish a lot with just the Force or with just political skill, but to cover all situations you need to have both. So it is with duct tape and WD40. --PT
- Using it wrongly can get you into a sticky situation. --PWF
- Everybody loves it's abilities but no one wants to know how it really works. --Edith
- Clever application prevents border control officials from bothering you. --AlexChurchill
Judgement: Another good batch. PWF and Edith get honourable mentions here, but Whistway's Yoda-like philosophy takes it. Point to Whistway!
It’s definitely been far too long since I saw anyone plunge into the amusing depths of DuctTapeAndTheForce so… Following on from a very bizarre conversation I had yesterday:
Why is Halloween like the Economy?
Deadline: 7pm on Thursday 3rd November 2011
Multiple entries welcomed :)
- It's the children's version. If they play their cards right, when they grow up they can trick or treat an entire nation! --PT
- Beware of deeds done in the dark which may come back to haunt you. --PWF
- Some think it's harmless, others think it's satanic. --Rachael
- On the surface, it's quite scary; but then you realise that it's all just pretend anyway. --CH
- It's all about give and take. --AC
- (alternatively:) What goes around comes around. Throw egg at someone now, and their children will throw egg at you. --AC
- The US-American influence is very notable, at least here in Spain. --PT
An excellent set of answers that clearly showed that everyone was getting into the 'spirit' of this, my answer wouldnt of stood a 'ghost' of a chance. Honourable mentions for PWF and AC's second... However the winner is --Rachael A point to you and an exciting imaginary pumpkin carved with the word WINNER! :)
Deadline: 7pm on Thursday 6th Jan 2011
Multiple entries welcomed and encouraged :)
Why is Falling in love like A card game?
they're both something that can be ruined by one of the participants cheating. macloud
Both tend to involve hearts, diamonds and clubs. Spades are rarer... --MoonShadow
It's the closest thing to Magic that most people experience. --AlexChurchill
If you try to parallelise two instances you run a grave risk of winding up confused and having lost everything -- PT
I must admit that I have found this round particularly difficult to judge. All the answers were exceptional and you managed not to repeat any of the numerous puns that I initially considered when I came up with the question. Thankfully you all avoided any references to Poker Anyway... on with the judging. It was very close, but based on its sheer brilliance and simplicity I will give this point to Moonshadow
- Bother, I meant to enter this morning, with "If you haven't experienced it for a while, you might be feeling a little whist-ful". But that might be one of your puns anyway... --CH
Christmas Special: Deadline 11.59pm Friday 24th December 2010 (but better get in earlier in case I forget the time difference and judge prematurely :)
In view of the apparent combination of the two in our Christmas Party, why are the Nine Lessons and Carols like Pass the Parcel?
- Both are a musical journey, that prove that being involved in the process of unwrapping and understanding an incredible gift can result in wonderfully experiencing 'holy presence' --Whistway
- When the music stops, another layer is revealed, until you arrive at the central treasure. --Pigwotflies
- I was just about to write something similar. Bah. :) --CH
- Both are things you hope your postman remembers. --AC
Hmm, yes... I fear it wasn't the easiest to make witty suggestions... but seeing the children's faces when they found the chocolates suggests a certain holiness to the confectionary, so point to Whistway
Yay! Thankyou, that's my first win this year! --Whistway
Deadline: Monday 15 November 2010
Why is Autumn like a zebra?
Is anyone going to enter this time? --Pigwotflies
- As ever, I would if I could. I am spectacularly bad at thinking of these, I'm afraid - SunKitten
- I'll have a ponder over the weekend. In the meantime, Monday's the 15th. --CH
- So it is. Corrected --Pigwotflies
- Individually they're pretty to look at, but after a hundred of them have passed over you you'll be dead. --Rachael
- The white stallion took winter to reign over, because winters were white back then; so the black mare took summer, because it's at the opposite end of the year. The dapple grey saw how things were going, and quickly declared himself for spring, since it's in between. The zebra was about to speak, but the brown pony kicked it: "You're not even a real horse!" So the poor zebra ran off to the birch grove to cry, and no-one's seen her since; and that's why autumn is actually more like a brown pony than a zebra. --MoonShadow
- Both remove foliage without the need for a chainsaw. --Edith
- Both can be affected (sometimes quite amusingly) by a long enough spring! --Whistway
Much admiration for MoonShadow's just so story, honorable mention for Edith for including chainsaws, but I think Rachael takes it for philosophical insight. Point to Rachael. --PWF
Deadline: Sunday 7 November 2010
Why is Halloween like a degree?
- Both involve lots of people in long black garments wearing silly hats. --CH
- Strange, eldritch creatures, normally hidden from mortal eyes, fill the streets. --MoonShadow
- Slightly chilly. --AC
- Awesome chocolates if you know where to look --Edith
- Some people breeze through it having fun, others cower in a corner in terror and wonder when it will be over. --Pigwotflies
- At the start of October you think "Oh my goodness, is it that time already?" --AC
Yay for lots of entries!
Honourable mentions to MoonShadow for using cool words like "eldritch", and AlexChurchill (1) because I was hoping someone would pick up on that sense of "degree" as well.
But my favourites are Pigwotflies' entry and AlexChurchill's second entry, in that they both read like non-obvious, but true and fairly uncontrived statements about both things. Iam struggling to choose between them, so: since AC already has an honourable mention, point to Pigwotflies.
Yay! Thanks. Right, I'll set us a new one. --Pigwotflies
Deadline: 2010-10-31 12:00:00Z
Why are Jelly Babies like Julius Caesar?
- Both get [sucked on by Cleopatra] --Pallando
Point to Pallando - but I think maybe DTATF has run its course. --PT
- Nooo, say it isn't so? Dunno about anyone else, but I spent a while trying to come up with an entry for this round - I think it was just a difficult round. We might see more entries with a different question. I hope. --Rachael
Deadline: Oh.... end of 19th of Sep, say.
Because I didn't to say it in chat: Flint is like a fish right?
Of course! Without them [chipping] just wouldnt be the same --Whistway
Once they're covered in batter and deep fat fried... basically, yes. --Edith
[She] was supposed to be effective at reducing obesity and heart disease. --PT
- PT pokes Vitenka
- Blegh. No funny entries really. Point to Edith I guess. --Vitenka
- There is truly nothing in life as wonderful as heartfelt positive feedback to inspire and encourage! :) --Whistway
Deadline: 1pm on 8th January 2010
Special Haiku (5/7/5) round
Why is a Rubik's Cube like Nova Scotia?
- Green reflects in blue,/ red-gold rays illuminate./ Jumbled, or sublime? --MJ
- [Cubers] --DR
is anybody else going to enter and/or judge?
- I might if I knew
- more about Nova Scotia.
- It's a bit obscure... --Rachael
- Yes, this game works best
- when both halves are things that we're
- familiar with. --AC
- See the Northern Lights
- - Aurora Borealis -
- Like a Rubik's Cube --qqzm
- It matters a lot
- To a few thousand people
- And no-one else cares --PT
PT wins the chortling point, point to MJ for the image. --Gerblad?
Deadline: 6pm on Tue 6th October
Based on a weird comparison I heard someone make.
Why is Google like a Hobbit hole?
- A well stocked pantry and comfy furniture throughout --Edith
- It's where the adventure starts. --MoonShadow
- One led me to [the other]. --MJ
That video is horrific! *fx: brain runs off screaming*. Bad MJ, no point for you. Point to MoonShadow
- Ironic given MoonShadow was the first to inflict that video upon me :) --MJ
Deadline: end of Mon 6th July
I feel random tonight. I'm going to do a round with the first two things I think of.
Why is ebay like a hamster?
- [Compulsive], if you're into that sort of thing; maddening otherwise. --DR
- Too many [bobcats] might threaten its survival. --Rachael
- It's frustrating when the snipers win. --AC
- It can feel like you're exhausting yourself running but not getting anywhere. --AC
- They've [both] [inspired] Weird Al songs. --PT
- Neither are willing to act as a markplace for human organs --Edith
Hmmm.... honourable mention to DR for reminding me of the HamsterDance? but the bobcats take it - point to Rachael
Deadline: 0000, Monday 8th June 2009 (deadline? what deadline, no deadlines here guv)
Inspired by [MikeJeggo/HannahQuotes]:
Why are cats like babies?
(Note: cute pictures encouraged)
Both quickly learn to use big cute eyes to their advantage --MJ
This is all very quiet, I think I may have to add another one
"Oh, how cute! She's never done that before! What's she doi.... EEWWWW! Where's the disinfectant? Blegh..." --MJ
If they jump out of a pram, it gets everyone's attention. --PT
Douglas has a cute one. --AC
Neither can "just walk" anywhere. --AC
Some people will fuss over them for hours, and other people will find this behaviour bonkers --Androidkiller
- I had been going to give honourable mention to Rachael for finding a picture and the point to MJ. But then I realised that I was judging with my head, and that was all wrong. The one I actually laughed at on reading it was PT, so point to PT.--DR
Deadline: 1600, Thursday 12th March 2009
As it has been a while since I judged (or even entered), I ask you this:
Why is toxic waste like an itch?
- Not what you want to discover when strapped into a fairground ride. --AC
- Always in those hard-to-get-to places. --AC
- Desperation eventually defeats embarrassment in the attempt to get rid of it --MJ
- If you have to ask, you weren't there. --PT, per pro [Cesspool].
- I'm going to have to give it to Mike. --qqzm
Deadline: Wednesday 7th January 2009
Why is a new year like a brown cow?
(One entry per person please)
- You can only go a short way into either before you're forced to wonder what you're doing. -- SGB
- Ewwww. --Admiral
- Both tend to be consumed faster than expected. --Edith
- It's best shared with friends. --PT
- Usually they pass by slowly, but sometimes they stampede towards you at a frightening rate. --Rachael
- You should be prepared.. facing 2010 could be a little scary --Whistway
- How now --SF
- Because both look better after 2 bottles of hobgoblin [dont ask] macloud
- A look for SGB, an honourable mention for PeterTaylor, and a point to Rachael. - MoonSgadow?
Deadline: Monday 22nd December 2008
Why is a castle like an advent calendar?
People are welcome to make multiple entries :)
The windows are often an unconventional shape. --AC
Chocolate versions are nicer, but may have missed the point. -- SGB
A little door for every (k)night. - MoonShadow
[Stained-glass windows]. --Rachael
- Nice :) --Rachael
Despite there being grand modern ones with all sorts of fancy extra bits I still love the more traditional, simpler ones from earlier days. --Edith
Kids really want one, and adults pretend they don't want one, despite wanting one deep down inside. --Androidkiller
If it sinks into a swamp, your only option is to get another. --PT
I would gladly swap either for a horsey. -- SGB
You move along rows and down columns, but it's only in the newfangled variants that you jump around all over the place. --AC
They're designed to look impressive from the outside, even if they don't actually contain much. --Rachael
They were often created to herald the coming of a king, although these days they've drifted away from that purpose. --Rachael
Merry Christmas to all :)--Whistway
- Wow! A plethora superb of answers… Honourable mentions to Rachael, PT and SGB, however after several minutes of careful thought (combined with far too many Christmassy biscuits and a cracker that failed to supply a hat!) I chose a winner…… Moonshadow. Point to Moonshadow (and one to Santa.)
Deadline: Friday 12th December 2008
Why is a recession like a cake?
In theory it can be shared out equally, but in practice nobody wants to accept responsibility for making the last piece disappear. --DR
To be specific, it is like very rich chocolate cake: at the time, you may say you're sick of it, but when you look back your assessment can be much more positive. --PT
Going back for more. --AC [ref]
The value of your home can be reduced by either. -- SGB
Whichever way you slice it, it's going to end in pieces. --CH
Lower VAT. --Androidkiller
I simply need more dough --Whistway
(If you are allowing multiple enteries) I’m sure Marie Antoinette said it best ‘let them eat cake’ --Whistway
It is possible to find things frozen in Iceland --Whistway
- Ah, nicely done; I was looking for an Iceland reference, but couldn't make it work :) --AC
Lots of good entries! Honourable mentions for DR's, PT's and CH's. Not sure I understand SGB's - the value of my home is increased the more cake is in it! I think my favourite, for wordplay and conciseness, is Whistway's last, so point to Whistway. --Rachael
Deadline: Monday 21st July 2008
Why is a kitten like the sun?
(I thought of this DTATF question on the way to work this morning, based on our kittens and the summer. Then I discovered that the last DTATF round was scarily similar. But never mind.)
Multiple answers per person are permitted after the first 24 hours (i.e. after 12pm Wednesday). As inspection of my previous rounds will show, I particularly favour wordplay, insight or comedy, but all answers are welcome,
Because it does not look much like a rabbit. - MoonShadow
Both cause beams. --Rachael
Both can cause sneezing and a nasty rash --SGB
Both are [sacred to the Goddess Bast] --Pallando [(Picture)], [Ref], [Ref], [Ref]
It's very easy for your world to revolve around either --Whistway
Both have a great ability for creating newspapers full of excrement! --Whistway
It comes into your bedroom in the morning and wakes you up. --Rachael
They have lots of energy. --Rachael
Their size is aw(e)-inspiring. --Rachael
One contains a lot of helium; the other sounds like it does. --Rachael
During a British summer you are unlikely to see either in the sky for very long. --Whistway
Isn't it obvious? - SunKitten
- Nice entries, all! MoonShadow's reference makes me nostalgic, and SunKitten's reference to the same thing just makes me giggle (no connection to SunKitten was in my mind when I was setting the question!). The contrast between Rachael's first and SGB's also makes me giggle.
- I love all of Whistway's (I'm rapidly becoming familiar with newspapers full of excrement in the Kitten sense, although thankfully not the Tabloid sense). But then, I heartily approve of all of Rachael's as well. There are runners up in "unlikely to see in the sky" and "comes into your bedroom and wakes you up", but I think the award has to go to "aww-inspiring". So congratulations and point to Rachael.
Deadline: Saturday 26th April 2008
Why are Kittens like Clouds?
You mean apart from being fluffy, sweet, and able to bring divine retribution in various forms? --Admiral
Edwin isn't annoyed by either.
Endless possibilities for the playful. --AlexChurchill
They make things damp. --MoonShadow
[Ceiling cat makes his glorious appearance in da sky!] --Rachael
It's raining cats (and dogs) --Androidkiller
That depends entirely both on the breed of the kittens and the type of the cloud. --FR
Neither will safely arrest a fall from 80,000 feet --Edith
I immediately thought of this [Cloud] (in translation), owned by a friend of mine --PT
- Of course for the kitten, that wouldn't be a problem - they can quite happily survive a fall where they have reached terminal velocity. However, the lack of significant oxygen to breathe at 80,000 feet might cause hassle. --Admiral
One is an awesome source of natural destruction heralded by omnious movement then sharp sound effects as damage is unleashed in an instant, the other is just a source of thunder and lightning. --DR
So, not one person gave the obvious 'Fluffffffyyyy....' answer. Edith surely gets the cruelty award, MoonShadow has the ick factor going nicely, but I think it has to go to Alex. Edwin - sorry, I just didn't understand yours. --Vitenka
- I don't think Edwin actually wrote it here - I thought this whole round was inspired by a statement on ToothyChat that Edwin wasn't annoyed by either kittens or clouds. --Rachael
- Heh. Not quite. Edwin indeed didn't write it here, but posted it on ToothyChat immediately after Vitenka asked the question. In fact, so soon after Vitenka asked the question that Edwin hadn't seen the question at all, and was in fact referring to a completely different topic of conversation. But people pointed out that it looked entertainingly like a DTaTF entry, and so I posted it here for a joke. --AlexChurchill (also yay, I win!)
Deadline: Saturday 19th April 2008
Being ever so slightly topical:
Why are Motorised Punts like The Death Star?
It's great fun to own one, but everyone else wishes you would take it to another galaxy. --PT
They are noisy in a setting where everyone knows you just shouldn't be able to hear any noise. --Rachael
Both can be destroyed by a torpedo fired into the exhaust. --ChrisHowlett
"You'll be required to manoeuvre down this trench..." --SF
A renowned symbol of evil. --AC
Both were suggested by large, dominant powers, but were destroyed by rebellions against them. -- Androidkiller
- Nice! --Rachael
A few good entries here, but I think in the end Chris' entry had me laughing most. Thus: Point to ChrisHowlett
Since Whistway commanded me so persuasively, I'd better run the next round of this. I'll just clarify
that my point of view on multiple entries has changed somewhat: I'm now OK with multiple entries, although I prefer it if one person doesn't make several in the first 24 hours or so (to use up all the best puns). So if you've already answered, feel free to add another :)
Deadline: Friday 15th Feb 2008
Since it's that season at the moment:
Why is Valentine's Day like a computer?
Both promise much but rarely provide the answer you're looking for --SF
Massive dissapointment --Tsunami
The market conspires to make you spend lots of money on a new one every year. -- SGB
The XKCD guy wrote on both. --Rachael
Some people feel compelled to buy bigger and better cards for it every year. --Rachael (hope that's not too similar to SGB's)
- Isn't that true for all X and Y? --SGB
- Not in multiple senses of "on". --Rachael
011010010010000001101100011011110111011001100101 00100000011110010110111101110101 :) --Whistway
- Perhaps, but I do like the double meaning of cards there. --SGB
- I must say, my computer takes the same size cards every time. And if you upgrade, isn't the trend towards miniturisation? --MJ
- I was thinking of "big" graphics cards with lots of onboard processing power. I think it's reasonable, or at least not unheard of, to call them big. --Rachael
Please insert disk --Edith
- Oh, very smooth. --CH
Life's complicated enough without them --Androidkiller
It's all about the numbers. --RachelHowlett??
Glorious in success, devastating in failure --MJ
Nowadays, they bear little resemblance to their origins. --ChrisHowlett
There's a growing trend towards global standardisation. --PT
Having a fan is often an important component! --Whistway
for each (years:relationship)
love_size=worth(giftcount,giftcost,cardsize * gross income)/modifier;
} // --Garbled
Valentine's day A computer
...perhaps if you used better ingredients for the computer?
A little bit adult A little bit adult
A lot sweet A little bit sour
Quality: 85% Quality: 30%
- Gosh. Many good submissions - this was tough to judge. I don't normally like the "talk about X in the language of Y"-style entries, although Whistway's first was clever. SF set a good standard with the first entry, and many others were very good. I think the shortlist is: Rachael's second ("cards"), Chel for an entertainingly cynical take, Whistway's second for an unashamed pun on "fan", and MoonShadow's charming table. It comes down to the puns, and I had a really tough time choosing between Rachael and Whistway. In the end, "cards" is a stronger association with each of the two subjects, and so I think Rachael just wins it by a hair. Point to Rachael. --AC
Sorry folks I couldn't wait any longer... :)
- No need to apologise - keep 'em coming :) --Rachael
Deadline: Saturday 9th Feb 2008
After five weeks of writing overly complex staff appraisals... I am bound to ask the question...
Why are Performance appraisals like The meaning of life?
The answer you finish with is less important than the process you went through to arrive at it. --DR
Some people are often sure that there's a point, but they have a hard time finding it. --Androidkiller
- Arguable, on both fronts. --Admiral
Because the processes for deviving them involve a) creative accountancy b) weighing the immeasurable c) a whole lotta tedimu ad nauseum --Garbled
Once it's over you realise it's a lot simpler than you expected, and your angst about it was unnecessary. --Rachael
May include any or all of the following: growth, eating and drinking, feeling pain, breathing, sex, and producing crap. Or so we learned in GCSE Biology. --Rachael
You make it up as you go along. - MoonShadow
Ummm, errrr.... 42? (if I had realised there was going to be a test...) --Tsunami
Generally seen once a year, a small team of people get together, they say foolish things, and finish by trying to get you to feel foolish too. --SGB
It'd be nicer if there were clearer instructions. --AlexChurchill
- (or, alternatively:) - The instructions are clear enough, but actually doing what they say is the hard bit. --AlexChurchill
- Another impressive set of answers, so good in fact that I struggled to narrow down my honourable mentions list. So...Honorable mentions to all, but a little more to MoonShadow, qqzm, AlexChurchill(2nd answer) and Garbled. But the winner is... AlexChurchill for his first answer. Point to AlexChurchill
- Alex please do the next round or I will hire a team of lemmings to hunt you down, don’t worry they wont hurt you, but they will build an irritating little bridge in front of you; The bridge will almost enable you to get to where you want to go, but it will be just slightly too short and you’ll hate that :) --Whistway
Deadline: Saturday 8th September 2007
Inspired by the fact that I am currently enjoying the final instalment of the Harry Potter saga...
Why is True-love like a Wizard?
Multiple entries permitted :)
But that's not what he said. He distinctly said "To blave", and as we all know, to blave means to bluff, heh? So you were probably playing cards, and he cheated. --MiracleMax??, via Kazuhiko
Edwin puts on his robe and wizard hat.
"Pah... it is good for one's health to fall in love."- MoonShadow
Both accomplish things inadequately explained by physical laws. --ChrisHowlett
It can make you doing all sorts of strange things without you being able to explain why. --AlexChurchill
It is enchanting. --M-A
Wingardium leviosa. --Requiem
In favourable conditions, it can [hit the ball out of the park]. --PT
Lots of people don't believe in either, but those who believe pity those people --Androidkiller
Never stand in the path of either. --Edith
- A magical selection of answers! I was under no illusion that this round would be difficult to cast judgement on ;) Honourable mentions to ChrisHowlett, M-A and Requiem. However it was the final entry that won it at the last moment Point to Edith
Given the time of year, it seems to appropriate to ask why a Bank Holiday is like an opinion poll.
They both require a percentage of people to work. :) --Whistway
You can never trust in the weather of one, nor the results of the other --Tsunami
Neither are a good basis for government policies --SF
It's an indication of the decreasing popularity of labour. --Rachael
- Was it the question or the timing that's responsible for the relative lack of answers? Ah well. An honourable mention to Rachael, but Whistway takes it by a nose. (No, I don't know whose nose).
- Presumeably, his own nose. If he used anyone else's nose to take it, they would have a right to complain about nosejacking. --MJ
- It was definitely my own nose, I know that because I picked it myself ;) --Whistway
- I'm glad to hear you didn't pick anyone else's! --MJ
Deadline: 8.23pm Friday 24th August
Inspired by my dodgy driving instructors amusing repartee : Why is driving like a marriage?
- Do you mind multiple entries? It's just that there's so much potential, and I haven't even got to the puns yet. --Rachael
- Multiple entries are fine... although I think we should set a limit of 317 entries per person, otherwise it could just get silly. --Whistway
Official guidelines state that it must be entered into soberly. --Rachael
In spite of discouraging statistics, most people believe theirs will be successful. --Rachael
It's easy not to end up where you thought you would. --PT
If you clearly indicate your intentions, the other person may give way. --PT
These days you have to pass a theoretical exam for driving, not just the practical. I'm firmly of the opinion that the same should apply to marriage. --FR
One can be a cause of accidents, while the other is on occasion a result of them. --FR
Both require a licence. --qqzm
I call shotgun! --Vitenka
At times it leaves you breathless, heart pumping in joy; at times you just have to keep going and push through the same old same old. --AlexChurchill
You get more out of it if you enjoy the journey, not just trying to get to the destination. --AlexChurchill
I get asked why I don't do them all the time. -- SGB
Help! I'm driving an institution! --Edith
Attempting multiple instances simultaneously is liable to land you in court. --PT
Make sure that familiarity doesn't breed contempt, or it could come to a sticky end. --PT
Raising or lowering the age limit requirement for either is a sure way to distract from economic performance or scandal --DR
It's better if you know what's under the bonnet. --AC
- As expected the answers were all superb. Which is probably what makes this such a terribly difficult round to judge. Honourable mentions to Rachael, FR and AlexChurchill.. who all came VERY close to winning. However they were just beaten by PT (In the round, not with weaponry), Point to PT
- Which one? --Admiral
- I thought someone may ask that question... PT's first answer came very close to winning... but it was the third answer that won it :) --Whistway
Deadline: 2pm Tuesday 14th August
Very well. Why is nougat like a chimney?
- It's inadvisable to eat either while wearing false teeth. --Rachael
- Fat men that get stuck in the latter have a tendency to shout; fat men that get stuck in the former can't. --CH
- It's surprising how far it stretches. --AlexChurchill
- Demolishing either is really good fun --Edith
- I'm not sure, but if Santa can't spot the difference it's going to be a strange Christmas :) --Whistway
- Wow. Well, that was a really difficult one, like Rachael said. There were some fantastic answers though. I loved the fat men and the false teeth, but the prize definitely has to go to Whistway for making me laugh (or at least grunt) out loud. Point to Whistway
- Yay! Did anyone notice that I used the same line that I won 'Round 52' with? :) Is that the first time that the same line has won twice? I hope so. --Whistway
Deadline: 2pm Friday 10 August
Inspired by n-r's instruction on ToothyChat to "carry on gumping": Why is life like a box of chocolates?
- Someone's nicked the little piece of card that tells you what's-what and eaten everything that isn't nougat. - MoonShadow
- Almost all arrangements quickly devolve to small blocks of four that no-one wants to eat. --Vitenka
- With the right attitude, they can be heaven, but sometimes you just get into a sticky mess --Androidkiller
- The really nice ones cost a fortune and depend heavily on slave labour --SGB
- The bitter portions can be surprisingly gratifying. --CH
- There is always one (for me, thats the coffee one) that doesn't taste as good as the rest. --Tsunami
- Best when fruity, and/or with a few nuts. --AC (and also, being smooth doesn't make you likeable.)
- It's based on an imported product, better implemented in mousse. --Edith
- Nobody expects to bite into a crunchy raw unboned real dead frog. --PT
- A deeper enjoyment arises when individuals focus on exploring what is on the inside, rather than the purely superficial outer shell --Whistway
- I thought to myself, when setting this round, that I wouldn't pick any cynical answers, because I'm quite partial to both chocolates and life. And, accordingly, I very much like AC's, Whistway's and CH's. However, there's another entry which, while cynical, is both witty and thought-provoking, and so I'm going to award the point to SGB. Also, a bonus point to whoever sets the next round, as a bribe to stop the game fizzling out again. --Rachael
Deadline: Monday 26 March lunchtime (I think overly long rounds can make it lose momentum)
Why is a programming language like a packet of crisps?
They make it far too easy to grow uncontrollably, and they usually have too much C salt. --AlexChurchill
Shiny and well-labelled on the outside, but much messier when you open it up --K
They come in lots of different flavours, but always have the same unpalatable stuff underneath. - MoonShadow
Lack of restraint leads to bloat. --Requiem
Everyone has their favourite flavour --Androidkiller
You always get lots of little bits hiding in a corner somewhere. --FR
If you've opened it, you've broken it. --CB?
Wow, excellent answers, all. I especially like Alex's for the wordplay (C salt? Is that like syntactic sugar?), and CB's for its brevity and the absoluteness of its cynicism.
To break a possible tie, I'm going to award the point to CB because I'm curious about who he/she is. If it turns out to be merely a typo for CH then I think he should judge the next round as a forfeit. --Rachael
- If this is indeed the case then I think CH should judge the previous round first. Since it appears that he hasn't.
- D'oh, and double d'oh. 'tis I. I will do both at some near-future point. --CH
Judge: ChrisHowlett and others at the Planar Chaos prerelease; submissions by midday, Friday 19th January
Inspired by games purchased by a work colleague, and a bad pun pencilled onto a piece of brass music:
Why is [TicketToRide] (or [TicketToRide]) like a ticket to [Ryde]?
They're all Wight --Androidkiller
Costs about £20 and lasts for about an hour. --Rachael
At first you don't know what to do, but by the end you're closer to shore. --AC
See-sidings. --AC (a second entry, I know; feel free to ignore if preferences are against multiple entries)
It only makes sense in a few limited scenarios, most of which involve mind-altering drugs. --PT
Thinking of the song (since I've never played the game): Depressing. --FR
- What, like caffeine? --CH
- I was going with the Beatles song. Or do I misunderstand you? --PT
- Gah. I was misremembering my own question, and thinking you were comparing the game to the song. My brain fade. This comments will self-destruct tomorrow. --CH
- Succinctness is a virtue - it goes to AndroidKiller?! --CH, finally.
Judge: FlameRider; submissions by 7pm, Friday 22nd December.
This one is both seasonal and is one of my often-occuring typ-os. And I think it could be funny.
Why is a manger like a manager?
Is it just me that hears the pret-a-pratter of tiny little feet? --Garbled
Often surrounded by asses. --Rachael
Can be useful as a last resort when all other options are unavailable. --Rachael, hoping FlameRider doesn't mind multiple entries
One has a dog in it, the other behaves like a dog --Tsunami
- I don't: enter away.. --FR
Feeding trough for the socium - [MoonShadow]
And if we are allowed two entries then:
One is away, the other you wish would go away! --Tsunami
A Pleasant little round, with honourable mentions to many and various. Point to Rachael mk.2 for sheer giggle factor, and that aptness of the manger half. --FR
Judge: AlexChurchill; submissions by 5pm Thursday 14th December.
It's December, so let's have a round with some seasonal symbols. Three sections: you may enter any or all of them, but only one entry per player per section.
1: Why is a stable like snow?
- Wearing of wellies advised. --PT
- It is white, fluffy, mostly made of ice and crunches underfoot. --Requiem
- They are all very subtly different, but all look pretty much the same (if you allow me the liscence of using 'snowflake' instead of just 'snow'). --FR
- Heavy falls of either would bring London to a grinding halt --SF
- Neither is remotely as clean as the Christmas cards would have you believe. --Koryne
- A Plough there stored may move a hoard to free those with windows. --Garbled
- People in cities can go for years without seeing either --Androidkiller
2: Why is snow like a candle?
- It burns. - MoonShadow
- It seems gentle and innocent, but is capable of causing death. --PT
- Ingredients in pretty pictures. --Requiem
- If you have one, your chances of encountering the other might just be a bit greater. --FR
- Wavering light, a ritual sight, their absence our plight --Garbled
- Snow way you can get four candles into a suitable pun --Androidkiller
3: Why is a candle like a stable?
- To use, alight. - MoonShadow
- The result follows from the previous two lemmas and the transitivity and reflexivity of "like" --Edwin
- I think you mean symmetry rather than reflexivity, but if "like" were reflexive then romantic comedy would be an empty genre. --PT
- Oops. It's scary how fast I forget things. --Edwin
- And, in turn, don't you mean symmetric rather than reflexive? If "like" (in the sense you're implying) were reflexive, that seems to just imply that everyone likes themselves :) --AC
- :bag: --PT
- Burns nice and bright on those long winter evenings. --Requiem
- Both are pleasing to look at in a nostalgic kind of way, but are rarely really very useful. --FR
- Either could be used to help keep your horse warm --SF
- If a certain child was born on a certain day then I may say that eight may have been in one, whereas others may say that three, four or more were present. Some would consider "A great miracle happened there" may refer to this, but another tradition may say conservation is the moral. Oil is well. Oil are blessed. [Insert traditional greeting to your deit(y/ies)/fellowman/woman/frog here. --Garbled
- Both can be useful in a large thunderstorm --Androidkiller
A variety of good entries - congratulations all. For the stable/snow comparison (1), Koryne's entry is a very good runner-up, but I was tickled by the mental image conjured by SF's, so point to StuartFraser. For a candle's similarity to a stable (3), Edwin's submission made me giggle, but MoonShadow's superb pun is too good to ignore: point to MoonShadow. For comparing snow with a candle (2), it's a very tough choice: Garbled's poetic claim is tempting, as are MoonShadow and PeterTaylor's similar entries. I've already given MoonShadow a point for a fire pun, so for this one I'll give the point to PeterTaylor.
And MerryChristmas to all.
Judge: Androidkiller, submissions by 5pm Friday 1st December
Apologising in advance for the rubbish choice of words.
Why is tumbleweed like a sequel?
- When it rolls across the screen, you know nothing interesting's going to happen. --ChrisHowlett
- That depends on whether it is candy floss or not. --Admiral
- Seeing one often makes you realise that what was once full of life is now a desolate, hollow shell. - MoonShadow
- Once they break away from their roots, they're dead. --AC
- The western frontier is full of tumbleweeds; Frontier is full of... --SGB, running and hiding
- It can travel great distances, yet [produce very little pollution] --PT
- Both are cool if they contain Johnny Depp. --Edith
- One is a lifeless husk devoid of any interest, the other is a North American plant... --Tsunami
- Neither seems to be particularly good at answering queries. --Admiral
- Either can have great comedic effect, intentional or not. --Steve
- You always need exactly two, no more, no less, to make it worth it. --FR
It's a hard decision. Tsunami's is good for the playing with expectations, and I like CH's too, but it comes down to MS and AC. I think AC's pun just takes it. Point to Alex Churchill
Judge: Jumlian, submissions by 5pm Friday 10th November.
Taking a lead from French current affairs...
Why is Smoking like a power cut?
- The match flames twice, then all the lights go out. --FR
- Both make me fume --Androidkiller
Hmmm, difficult choice, but I award it to Androidkiller for succinctness and the word fume, which harks back to the french theme. Point to Androidkiller. --Jumlian
- Eek! I meant to enter, really I did. I've been manically busy preparing to go on a conference for a week (that's my excuse, anyway). More relevant is the absence of this page from RecentChanges (and thus my consciousness) for the past day or two, of course :) --AC
- Likewise, without the conference bit. --Rachael
- I'm just lazy. --Edith
- Hey, it wasn't the most inspiring / punworthy choice of starting words that there's been. Round 69, anyone? Probably Androidkiller's choice on recent precedent? --Jumlian
Judge: Edith, submissions by 10am Friday 2nd November.
- What's your stand on multiple submissions? --CH
- They're sucky and should be avoided. --Edith
- Ok, I won't add it. Judge away, oh Judge. --CH
- Can we see it after the judgement? I'm curious. --Rachael
- Of course. In retrospect, it's not that good anyway. --CH
- It was going to be "From my point of view, they're both as bad as nuts." --CH
Why is Academia like a fried egg?
- Peer review? What a bunch of ouefs! --Tsunami
- It starts [running] and gets harder. --PT
- You know you like it, but when you're getting up for your 9am lectures it often seems like way too much effort. - MoonShadow
- Everything starts sunny-side up but inevitably ends up scrambled. --Jumlian
- A drawing of either looks like a Mexican on a bicycle. --AC
- Starts out clear, but quickly becomes opaque, and is rarely over-easy. --CH
- It's broken. --Rachael
- They're both fine until you get Edwina Curry involved. --FR
- Everyone has their own opinions on how they should be done --Androidkiller
- For most people, one degree is quite un oeuf. --qqzm
- You can't hatch a chicken from either --SF
- It's misshapen, mostly white, greasy, and has a squidgy centre. --Requiem
- Things got much worse for them after they left their calcium shells --SGB
I ponder, yes ponder I do at all the good entries however I think Jumlian's entry appeals most. Ergo point to Jumlian --Edith
Yay! Judge: SGB, submissions by 10am Friday 20th October.
Why is Carcassonne like a toadstool?
- Both contain really tiny houses. --M-A
- (And on those lines) "Things a smurfy smurf would smurf!" --Vitenka (really hates that game)
- Neither should be consumed until properly examined. --Edith
- Both have a habit of growing in rings on the ground. --Admiral
- They can both have both poisonous and hallucinagenic effects on people, especially if used in excess. --FlameRider
- Not mush room. --AC (was that meeple on the road, or the field, or the castle? And move back, I want to put a tile where your foot is...)
- Dammit, beat me to that one. CategoryObviousPun?? --Androidkiller
- Well, some rounds have the most obvious puns get taken by the first or second entrant, and everybody after that bemoaning the lack of good possibilities. At least I let 5 other people have a go before I made this entry :) --AC
- Admitting ‘the discovery’ of either in your living room does not automatically make you a fungi (Fun guy). --Whistway
- They can be hunted and gathered. --Rachael
- They're round and flat. --PeterTaylor
- You have to be careful with both, or they can do strange things to your brain. --Androidkiller
- For a short time after a Pixie dies, its toadstool has a carcass on. --qqzm
- Dammit, beat me to that one. --CH, who was just going to make a joke of that form.
Hmmm.... I thought I'd go for one of the puns, but I like the slight surrealism of Edith's answer. [Or maybe not]. Point to Edith. I'm surprised (but only a bit) that everyone assumed I was talking about the game, not the place in France. -- SGB
- (PeterTaylor) I didn't. My answer only really works for the place in France.
Nobody else wanting to judge? Fair enough, AlexChurchill will judge another one then. (Feel free to bags the next round before this one's finished.) Submissions by 10am Wednesday 11th October.
Why is a tab like a bat?
Any meaning or combination of meanings are acceptable, although as always, I'm not keen on answers with more than one or two parts.
- Ah tea a bee, Ai be a 'te? Bai ti, a bea! --Vitenka (I did taw a be!)
- Die Fliedermaus is an opera, and in market research you get [tab houses]... so this is a previously solved problem. --SGB
- So nar if we need to, we can move from place to place without someone having to point at things! ;) --Whistway
- Demonstrating an excessively large one to the innkeeper can earn you a fun encounter with the bouncer if you're out of gold pieces. - MoonShadow
- Applying either to a wodge of text will likely shift it sideways somewhat. --SF
- Vandals use them for indentation. --Rachael
- One is smoked by Geordies, the other disapears in a cloud of smoke when transforming into a vampire! --Tsunami
Nice suggestions, all. Whistway's pun took a couple of readings to spot. Tsunami gets bonus points for the reference to MTG: Sengir Nosferatu ;) I do genuinely like all of these, but there has to be a winner... And I'm particularly tickled by SGB's discovery of an as-yet-unseen way for DTATF to be self-referential. So for the originality factor (i.e. it won't work again ;) ), I award the Point to SGB.
Judge: AlexChurchill. Submissions by 10am Thursday 24th August. (Yikes, I last judged a round of this a full year ago.)
As a reminder: AlexChurchill likes wordplay, likes external links or answers in unusual formats, and dislikes multi-part answers (i.e. entries that could be more than one submission).
Why is opera like a house?
- Because for the most part windows are rendered correctly? --Jumlian.
- Both require boats to cross the Atlantic. --Vitenka
- People get frightened by a Phantom in either. --ChrisHowlett
- One is best experienced in a foreign language, the other in a foreign country. -- Senji
- If the walls are too thin, the neighbours complain about the noise. - MoonShadow
- You're not supposed to see what happens behind the curtains --Edith
- If it only has one story, it's a little flat --Rachael
- You don't appreciate advertisement beeing sticked to it --Grumpf
I'm tickled by Jumlian's reference to Opera the browser (and I suspect Grumpf's is also a reference to the same browser, although I'm not 100% sure...) But there's a clear winner here. I was worried about seeming biased, but when all of ToothyChat - even NoReverseDialnetPerson? - agreed with me, I lost any remaining compunction about rewarding her superb triple pun by giving the Point to Rachael.
Judge: Whistway. Creative submissions by 8.42pm 14th May
Why is an Angel like an Angle?
- Both can cause things to be [Serra]-ted. --ChrisHowlett
- They tend to be sharp and to the point. --AC (See, e.g., NIV: Luke 24: 4-7, NIV: Acts 12: 7, NIV: Acts 12: 23, ...)
- That last passage seems to be in the wrong order. I'd expect him to die before being eaten by worms... --CH
- Nah, they just nibble slowly - takes a lot of worms before you die of blood loss. Or maybe hunger, if they were tapey. --Vitenka (who has no entry besides the obvious exclamation of "Transubstantition!")
- (PeterTaylor) Josephus makes the same claim. Translation by William Whiston: "Nay, further, his privy-member was putrefied, and produced worms".
- Academics can spend way too long trying to analyse them, when really they should just be admiring their beauty. CURSWiki: Androidkiller
- They have radiance. And some of them are right. --Rachael
- Both might be found on the head of a pin --Edith
- To Angle (ie to fish/ maneuver for something) reely comes from the old English angel meaning fishhook. So Ann, gel you can angle for an angel with your angel --Garbled
- Everyone has one. --PeterTaylor (who would like to state at this point that he's punning on folk-Christianity rather than making an assertion of truth)
- One word: Pi-ety. --Bobacus
- [Acute angle]; [A cute Angel] --qqzm.
- Both are factors pertaining to the physical properties of pinheads. --FR
- Both are annoyingly interchangable in the world of "Word" --Hoshi-Chan
Honourable mentions to everyone (just to be nice). A veritable feast of interesting answers, many of which were very close to the comparative descriptions I had been considering. However, there must be a winner… I narrowed it down to three, which was perhaps a bit silly as we only really needed one. But the winner I chose for being the furthest away from answers I had thought of myself and for a display of logical thinking that could sink the titanic.. if it wasn’t already sunk… Point to Hoshi-Chan
Judge: FlameRider. Submissions by 6.30pm 5th May
Why is DuctTapeAndTheForce like a chimney?
- (because) Catchphrases Mask jokes. --Vitenka
- MoonShadow: Used to get used all the time during those longer winter evenings. These days it only sees very occasional action..
- AlexChurchill: Spending too much time on it will make your head give off puffs of smoke.
- I'm not sure, but if Santa can't spot the difference it's going to be a strange Christmas :)--Whistway
- Because you're never quite sure if you really need it, but you still want it to be around CURSWiki: Androidkiller
All very amusing, although I'd like to add that apparently neither are used very much any more. Be that as it may, honourable mentions to AlexChurchill and MoonShadow, and appologies to Vitenka since, seemingly as usual, I don't understand his reply. But, for the truly bizarre imagery provided, Point to Whistway --FR
Judge: Indigo. Submissions by 10pm Monday 19th March
Why is the moon like Starbucks?
- MoonShadow: No matter how far you try to run, you can still see one right behind you.
- Bobacus: You can't get a decent cup of Coffee at either.
- Steve: Both have the same mass.
- CURSWiki: Androidkiller : Both have a dark side
- One meeeellion Dollars! --Vitenka
- That's no moon. It's a coffee shop! --K (channeling Obi-wan)
- Both contain cheese --Edith
- Often new or full. --Rachael
- Somewhat lacking in atmosphere. --AlexChurchill
- One is a site of Selene's beams, one is a site for selling beans. --Garbled
- Both often look quite nice from a distance, but when you get close up you will probably be very disappointed. --FR
- They both make you want to howl --Jumlian
Ooh hard descision, I think a point to Garbeled for the twisting of the languge --Indigo
Judge: Rachael. Submissions by 11am Saturday 29th October.
Why is DuctTapeAndTheForce like a car?
ChrisHowlett will let you know once he sees whether his passes its MOT. Car, that is, not DTaTF.
FlameRider: If this last round is anything to go by, they can both take a while to get started. Once they do, however, you're generally ok.
- Despite getting on a bit, they still pass expert scrutiny. --CH
MoonShadow: A little careful steering makes for entertaining sidetracks.
qqzm: Need occasional pushes.
AlexChurchill: The propensity for self-reference within it will only increase as time passes.
CURSWiki: Androidkiller : The basic design stays the same, but every so often a new variant is released
Wow, what an amazing round - every single entry made me grin. Alex's entry delighted me. MoonShadow's scared me slightly - remind me not to accept lifts in your car :) On balance I think I'll award a point to MoonShadow for linguistic creativity. --Rachael
Judge: Edith. Submissions by 10am Wednesday 21th September.
Why are Pirates like Cambridge?
- There is an inverse correlation between the number of pirates and the number of Cambridge students over time. Moreover, [as the number of pirates has declined, global temperatures have risen]. I propose, therefore, that Pirates are an unstable material, with a half-life of around 4 years, and the decay sequence is roughly as follows: 1 pirate -> 2 Cambridge students + 1 Starbucks + infrared radiation; 1 Starbucks -> 2 Mobile telephone shops + 1 Hairdresser + 10m3 of greenhouse gas. Arr, matey! - MoonShadow
- Deliberately crashing boats into each other. --Edwin
- (PeterTaylor) People think they're stuck in the 17th century, but in fact they exploit modern technology.
- Silly sayings, strange accents, mad dress codes and the tacit approval of the state. And steal spanish gold. --Vitenka (via training fees, for the cabin boy, naturally.)
- Scurvy, mutinous and destructive yet still strangely fun. --Steve
- Copying information in ways the authorities don't like. --AlexChurchill ("Spencer, did you do this example sheet on your own?")
- It's a rather fun game, which gets harder the longer you play, but has no fixed end point. -- Xarak
- Ah, nostalgia. --CH
- Novel for a little while, but apparently pretty tricky to get out of. In the manner of a black hole. Oh, and... THE CLAW!! Ahem. --FR
Edith: A tricky one with a number of good answers. But the Flying Spagetti Monster tells me to point my noodley appendage to MoonShadow, thus. Point to MoonShadow
Judge: AlexChurchill. Submissions by 10am Tuesday 30th August.
Why are BoardGames like the Moon?
- You look on in wonder and plan a new construction, only to find that others have already staked their claim. --Vitenka (is [linking to source] considered tacky?)
- Often kept up high, just out of reach, sometimes new and occasionally full. --Jumlian
- They go through phases, and they're generally not suitable for people who like a lot of gravity. --Rachael
- Often reported to have strange affects on certain individuals. --Steve
- The gullible may be induced to believe that they a) are made of green cheese, b) have real men in them. Quadruple points for gulling someone into both simultaneously. --MJ
- Both ae things whic are there all of the time, but are rarely truely observed or appreciated. --FR
- Lunacy. --Edwin
- Watching either for long can become quite mesmerizing. --Susan?
- Go around either and you end up back where you started. --Nataku
- each (was found in )?rose crescent yesterday. --PT
- Both make me think of cheese. --Tsunami
- A number of people who go to GamesEvenings would declare "(T)Suki!" when confronted with either. --K
- Neither of them are flat. --Requiem
Wow, why does everyone do good entries on the rounds when I have to judge a best one? I guess my shortlist is: Vitenka's is good (and linking to source is a good thing). FlameRider got the closest to what I'd imagined I'd enter (something like "Neither of them is strictly necessary for life, but they both make it more enjoyable"). And Kazuhiko, Edwin and PT produce most excellent pieces of wordplay. (And several others were good that didn't even make the shortlist! I like Tsunami's cheese reference...) For simplicity, succinctness and accuracy, I give the point to Edwin.
Deadline: 1500 BST, Saturday 20th August
Why is HarryPotter like a blade of grass? (Note: HarryPotter/Book6Spoilers will be frowned upon).
- Because both end up mown (moan). --DR
- The correct dosage is 6g to 9g daily. Needs to be protected from light and moisture. --Vitenka (Elymus repens)
- Snape believes both can be made more useful by being brewed into a potion --K
- Gets rolled around on a lot in the racier sort of fanfic. --MoonShadow
- Begins somewhat green; ends up less so. --Requiem
- Inherited a zigzag shape from his parent. --AlexChurchill
- Both are often Forlorn (For-lawn)and can be the subject of many cutting remarks. --Whistway
- Bends in a storm but does not break. --Nataku
- I would happily use a lawnmower on both. --Tsunami
- Although it starts short, it ends up getting too long. --Edwin
- Both could be protected by a Lily, or overshadowed and stifled by a Petunia. --Rachael
- Wow! Rachael you're answer should be disqualified for being too "blooming" clever! (You Budding genius! - Sorry for the Flower puns)--Whistway
- Needs cutting. --Edith
- According to the good Pope, both are likely to stain young children. --Taz
- At the risk of sounding too serious, and noticing that most people are talking about grass and not a blade of grass, I'd say that both started life likely to be choked by those surrounding them, and both still have a rather fragile-seeming lifespan. --FR (Who thanks PeterTaylor for specifying a blade of grass rather than merely grass, which would have led to far funnier comments but also far more irreverant ones.)
(PeterTaylor) That's a lot of good entries. Honourable mentions to Tsunami, for making me laugh, Natuku; for provoking thought; and Requiem for just having a good entry. Point to Whistway, for some superb punning.
- Many Thanks --Whistway
- Acceptance speech? --DR
Was inspired by events last week to ask if someone can think of any reason bar the obvious one. Why is a UniversityCard? like a bus? Submissions by 6pm, Monday 25th July.
- Cambridge has way too many of them, but their usefulness varies depending on who you talk to... --AC
- Both transmit data and addresses. --Vitenka
- Both can be used to gain access to the University Library. --Edith.
Hmmmm, methinks more imagination could have been used setting the question... however. I'm not entirely sure how a university card transmits any useful addresses, since I only go to college about once a month. If you've ever tried getting around on them you don't think Cambridge has nearly enough buses. The concept of ram-raiding the University Library with a bus being an intriguing one, I'll give the point to Edith --MJ
- Heh, I'm not sure that was the intent of the line, but the imagery is certainly worthy. Call out the paper :) --Vitenka
- Actually the ram-raiding was just what I had in mind --Edith
To spice up a boring week. Submissions by 10am Monday 18th July.
Why is a custard cream like a cluster bomb?
- Evilgasm. --Vitenka sticks to order
- Embedded in the stomach, they deliver a 150-point hit to the waistline. - MoonShadow
- When they break up into small pieces, everything gets rather sticky. -- Xarak
- Both are often deployed by worms. --Steve
- There are always better alternatives. --Rachael
- You know, if that weren't heresy it'd be a winner. And JaffaCakes exist, so it's not heresy which leads me to.. ewww. Entry #2. --Vitenka
- Prequel to JaffaCakes. --Vitenka (Orangey bit in the middle...)
- (PeterTaylor) JaffaCakes are cakes, not biscuits.
- A religious war, but you are quite correct. Nonetheless, I maintain that if you start with custard creams, you'll sooner or later move onto JaffaCakes. It's a gateway biscuit. --Vitenka
- Funny, but when I tried to set up a CustardCream? as my gateway, my internet connection stopped working! --MJ
- Ah, you forgot to configure the correct bkt in your firewall config, clearly. --Vitenka
- Not true. I, for instance, like custard creams, but am allergic to Jaffa Cakes. --CH
- Here, then, we have proof that you are an invader! --Vitenka
- (PeterTaylor) If they explode just above your head, it's going to hurt.
A variety of fun answers: thanks, all. I'm afraid my opinion on multiple entries from the same person has been stated, so Vitenka is disqualified: a pity, as I did like his second one. Steve gets an honourable mention for simplicity coupled with surreality, but I recognise with nostalgic delight MoonShadow's reference to a particularly effective Worms tactic, and clever choice of wording: therefore, I award the point to MoonShadow.
- Ah - I didn't know the worms stuff. And I really ought to be disqualified because my first attempt was so poor :) --Vitenka (And one reading of my second is truly truly tasteless)
Porters and Google: compare and contrast!
Entries by 8pm Wednesday June 22nd
- One is ubiquitous, helpful, somewhat odd, and generally obsessed with pornography. The other is a website. --Requiem
- Our college has one although they're really security, while it also warns against the lack of securith on the other, especially when searching for refenences. --FR
- Your question will be treated pedantically; the instant answers will tend to the unhelpful from one and the inscrutable from the other. - MoonShadow
- Neither will help you with your problem directly, but may point you in the direction of someone who can. --K
- Infinite, for any practical purposes. --Vitenka
- One minds pigeonholes, the other has a [whole mind of pigeons] --SMcV
- Both see incredible amounts of traffic without batting an eyelid, but neither will carry your luggage. Even if you ask! --AC
- Both provide reasonable company and entertainment at 4am. --Edith
- Sometimes they give you cookies. --Rachael
- Both guard the entry-points to arcane domains. --ChrisHowlett
- Both are slowly taking over the world! --PaulPower
- (PeterTaylor) They have the ability to remember you 40 years later.
- One looks after keys. The other looks, after keys. --Taz
- Both share the goal of the British library special forces. --Steve
- That's already been said by someone else --Edwin, who likes cookies
This was meant to be judged collectively by WednesdayAnime, but we all forgot, so I shall substitute. I really liked SMcV's entry, and PeterTaylor's is scarily true, but I think Taz's entry was finely honed.
Point to Taz! (Google Bombs [The Winner])
I feel like a random round, one in which people procrastinate and I learn a thing or two. Therefore I shall be judging this round with a favourable eye to pointless trivia in the answers. So:
Why is The University of Oxford like a Papal Tiara?
Entries by 2pm on Friday 20th May
- One has a coat of arms sable, garnished Or; the other is garnish on a coat of arms sable (the lord of the Isle of Man, I think). --Requiem
- Slightly silly when mounted on an old mans head. --Steve
- Both look like overly-elaborate beehives. --FR
Oh no! Is time up? I was going to submit: There's actually [more than] [one]; and the occupants are commissioned and granted authority with an obscure Latin phrase. That'll teach me to actually read the page. I took too long trying to actually find the Oxford graduation Latin: it's rather hard to track down. --AlexChurchill
- Point to Requiem on the basis of trivia. Although Steve gets an honourable mention for being the funniest.
Judge: ChrisHowlett (and Chel, probably)
On the basis that she doesn't seem to be everybody's ~ any more:
Why is AnneCampbell like a cup of tea?
Entries by Midday on Wednesday 11th May; the result will be based on a FirstPastThePost system, with one vote needed to win. Suffrage is granted solely to the Judge, who will act as a GestaltEntity? in the case where the Judge is actually two people.
- Feculant! --Vitenka (Come on, admit it - it's a great word. Also, I make a terrible cup of tea.)
- Some people like, some people don't, and it ends up down the drain in the end. -- Xarak
- Both are out of a job. --Requiem
- Bag ends up in hot water; leaves, strained. --Rachael
- Students who dislike labour prefer coffee instead. --AlexChurchill
- Ouch. But isn't an all-nighter usually caused by a need for more labour? --Vitenka
- In my house at least, left to stew in hot water for far too long. Isn't there some kind of witch test this can be equated to as well? --FlameRider
- Better if stirring --DR
- Very nice over a plate of fish and chips. --Edith (speaking from personal experiance)
- You like tea poured over your fish?
- Well, it's a common enough occurence that I guess you could grow to prefer it that way. --Vitenka
- I like tea as an accompanyment to the meal :P English has so many interpretations... --Edith
- (PeterTaylor) I can't find a decent one anywhere. (People in the UK may not find this applies to the tea).
- They both become quite unappealing a little while after you make them what they are. --Jumlian
The female half of the judge's GestaltEntity? likes Rachael's and DR's; the male half likes Rachael's and AlexChurchill's. Therefore, with honourable mentions to Douglas and Alex, it's another point to Rachael!
Why is the English language like Ante-Jentacular Pandiculations?
Entries by 10am on Tuesday 26th April
- AliceInWonderland. --Vitenka
- Because both mean absolutely nothing to people with no experience. --FlameRider (who can't be bothered to look up what... that thing in the question is) May I suggest following the Links? They're WordOfTheDays I added a few months ago. --CH
- Compared to sign language, both let you fit more material in a given space. --Requiem
- There are more questionable "Ouch!"-type words than one might expect. --AlexChurchill (I assume)
- Pre-positions. --Rachael
I'm torn between Alex (for the humorous picture conjured up) and Rachael (for brevity). However, I'm afraid I disagree with Alex on both counts: few words are more useful than 'Ouch' or its synonyms (and thus would be expected in a language); and just thinking about physical stretches makes me say 'Ouch'. So, point to Rachael.
- Awww. I was hoping for my HumptyDumpty 'words are my bitches' reference, when combined with 'four impossible stretches before breakfast' would do it :) --Vitenka (Posting this messgae purely for the mangled HumptyDumpty quote, and because it is fun to type HumptyDumpty)
Why is the royal wedding like Windows?;
Entries by 10am on Monday 18th April.
Am wavering slightly between Edwin's entry, for its sheer quickness and conciseness, and Jumlian's, for its clever and multifaceted expansion on a similar theme. However, I meant the recent royal wedding, rather than royal weddings in general, so I'm going to award the point to Edwin.
- Delays. --Edwin
- Stalls on startup, never lives up to the expectation and ends in crashes. --Jumlian
- Product subject to revision --Edith
- Defenestration wished by some, but impossible. --Requiem
Judge: Pallando / WednesdayAnime
Why is pope selection like a broken dictionary?
Entries by 6pm on Wednesday 6th April.
Bonus points given to answers with profound implications for the sociology of religious institutions.
- We declare this man to be the Pope, purple monkey dishwasher! --Requiem
- Both involve bad Latin. --Edith
- Spineless. --Vitenka
- It's meant to provide reference and inspiration for daily life, but is hindered by the effects of spending too long shut away in old buildings. --AlexChurchill
- The correct solution to both involves a plume of smoke --ChrisHowlett
- "Politics" sometimes comes before "godliness". --Rachael
- The end of each is "Ascension" -- Xarak, in the same vein as Rachel who got in there first :(
Since WednesdayAnime failed to judge this while I was in Ireland, I fine WednesdayAnime 1 point, which I award to ChrisHowlett, on the grounds that while I liked Vitenka's brevity, it failed the theological relevance test.
- If you'd waited jusssssst a little bit longer we'd have gotten the pope selected and then you'd see how right I was. --Vitenka (reserving the right to delete this comment if the truly unlikely occurs)
- Hummm. I was almost right, since it was a PlaceHolder? compromise candidate. But I guess I can't really call the head of the Inquisition Spineless :) --Vitenka
Why are zombies like a giant chocolate egg?
Entries by 12 noon on Friday 1st April.
- Both represent a rising from the grave. --K
- You can never have too many of either. --Steve
- [Chocolate Zombie Jesus Bunny!] --Vitenka
- You should be scared of what's inside. --AlexChurchill
- The supermarkets are full of them. --Rachael (see section 3 of EvilScript for how to misread the entry above mine...)
- Well. They must have something in common, or they wouldn't have stayed together so long. --Requiem
- Interacting with both results in StickyBrownStuff? --StephenClark
- Finding a number of either in your kitchen, would result in you ‘cracking up’ before having to witness ‘your own beast-like consumption’ --Whistway
- If you found yourself inside either, you'd have to eat your way out. -- Xarak
- Ewwww! --K
- You've been April Fooled. They're actually nothing alike. - MoonShadow
- Zebra --Edith
While there is a certain zen genius in my own answer which far eclipses that achievable by any mere mortal I feel I ought to show a bit less bias than that. MoonShadow's answer is particularly inovative while Xarak's evokes just the right sort of imagery to appeal to my more morbid aspect. However Vitenka was obviously reading my thoughts when I set the question, sheer brilliance in my humble opinion. Point to Vitenka
See if you can answer the question suggested by a recent typo at work:
Why are commandos like a DOS command?
Entries by 10am on Thursday 24th.
- Their presence, purpose and mode of operation are known to few, and understood by fewer. --ChrisHowlett
- "..one man takes on an entire malicious organisation. Training cannot prepare one for everything encountered in the field: in order to accomplish his task, the agent must use his wits and cunning to subvert the organisation using its own rules and procedures.." - scrap of burnt field manual found clutched in the hand of a dead man slumped over a burnt-out computer monitor, in a jelly pit at 2150' below the Microsoft HQ. - MoonShadow
- They both execute unquestioningly --Jumlian
- Both can cause great catastrophe if not used correctly. --Steve
- They (used to) sit under windows and occasionally jump out, sometimes in batches. Oh, and they don't wear underwear. --Rachael
- One should never refuse a commando or a command from your Director of Studies. --qqzm
- A good parachute is invaluable. --Vitenka
- They both may Terminate and Stay Resident. --Bobacus
- Things often run from both after a see-colon backslash. --Whistway
- Um, that sounds more like a proctologist joke ;) --Vitenka
- *Rachael gasps in awe at Whistway*
Great submissions! Given that the idea was obviously just "command dos" --> "commandos", there was an impressive amount of similarities found, well beyond the "power and intimidation" line that I first thought of. A truly impressive assortment of puns also. But once again Rachael and Whistway demonstrate that they both know me too well. How can I choose between them? Rachael's does approach multipartedness which I've already voiced a preference against, but both points are excellent; Whistway's is a little gruesome, but it is in the service of a quadruple pun. A truly difficult decision. I'm impressed by the wordplay of Whistway's entry but the mental image is unpleasant, while Rachael's is more entertaining. I have to choose a winner so I'm going to give the point to Rachael.
PeterTaylor won't be around to judge it, but he did quite like a comment he saw today on why TV licence inspectors are like vampires, so if anyone wants to volunteer to judge...
MikeJeggo will take up PeterTaylor's suggestion - why are TV licence inspectors like vampires? Entries by 5pm on Friday 18th.
- Both can be warded away with the sign of the cross. -- Xarak. As in "Do you have a TV? X"
- They can't enter unless you [invite them]. - MoonShadow
- Most people take appropriate steps to ward off their attention; woe betide you if you don't... --AlexChurchill
- Both have the eerie power to look through walls. --Vitenka
- Both give most definitely unwanted attention. --FlameRider
- Because they are vampires! I thought everyone knew that. --Edith
- in a similar vein "Vampires only suck your blood and leave your wallet alone". Oops. Wrong question. --Jumlian
- Trenchcoat? Check. Van? Check. Replica Japanese sword? We'll get back to you. --Requiem
- The complacent don't believe they really exist. --Rachael
Upon deliberation and consultation with my pet vampire and my pet tv license inspector, I declare Rachael to be the winner....
Why is perfect pitch like a graphics calculator?
Entries by 10am Monday 21/3.
- Both are more often posessed by the retarded. --Vitenka (Going for the Evil straight away.)
- Because both let you C scales accurately. --AlexChurchill
- One is about the truth of audible beauty. The other allows you to see the beauty of truth. --Requiem
- Both shatter glass if thrown hard enough. --Edith
- Both are made of hydrocarbons. -- Xarak, who thinks "Perfect Pitch" could be a good brand name for the sticky black stuff.
- While proper technique can be taught, some people seem to just be born with the ability to use it for scary things.. - MoonShadow
- Both are handy, but not nearly as necessary as you might think. --FlameRider
- Because one can be obtained with the other (using a ballistics definition of pitch) --MJ
Wow, what a wonderful crop of puns, especially Alex's double one.
Vitenka - shame on you. Although I confess it did amuse me, in a gasp-how-politically-incorrect kind of way.
I think I'm going to award it to Edith, though, for the most entertaining mental image.
Point to Edith.
Entries by next WednesdayAnime (9th March 2005).
Why is a ninja like honey mustard?
Because Jet Li kicks arse when coved in hordes of either. --Edith.
A smooth approach followed by a vicious kick. --ChrisHowlett
The greater the concentration of either, the less effect they have. One ninja is a threat; a hundred are scenery. The same is true of honey mustard. --Requiem
- Point to Vitenka (text is an entry, not an indication of judging result - MS)
- After some deliberation, point to ChrisHowlett. - MoonShadow
Entries by 9am this Friday (4th March 2005).
Why is LiveJournal like a CUSU meeting?
- Either can only be adequately resolved through Fire?. --Vitenka wants to BurnStuff?
- They're both seen as the solution to some problem, but neither works very well -- Senji
- "It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." --MacBeth
- Both are likely to suffer from hacks. --SMcV
- It's a standing wave on a sea of argument. --Requiem
- All talk, no action --K
- Apart from the fact that I have no experience with either, I'd guess that in both opinions are discussed endlessly but are rarely actually changed or affected. --FR
- Participants are criticised by non-participants for having too much time on their hands. --Rachael
Edith: While I sympathise with Vitenka and apprieciate the analogy of Requiem's I think MacBeth has it best.
Point to MacBeth.
And still no judgement from CorkScrew...
(because it won't let me add another round and I assume this is because the page is already too big. --Rachael)
(email his cantab address. Domain is cantab dot net, username is howlett)
Entries will be accepted until 2230 BST on Wednesday 25th August - a little under 2 days.
- In retrospect, ChrisHowlett is happy to accept posted entries - but requests that people limit themselves to only one entry. If someone has submitted more than 1, could they choose their favourite and delete the rest, please?
In an attempt to be slightly topical, and yet encourage creativity:
Why are The Olympic Games like a cheese sandwich?
- Because a cheese sandwich gets hot, sweaty and smelly when left under the sun in Athens for too long, just like the athletes in the Olympic Games. --AR
- PeterTaylor thinks the idea is that we e-mail Chris rather than post our suggestions publically.
- That would be very slow, though - does the secrecy actually add anything to the game? My answer would be "Because I'm not hungry" --Vitenka
- (Rachael agrees with Vitenka.)
- Because they're both cheesy and involve large quantities of bread.
- Because they're both in grease. (No, this isn't working, is it.)
- Because Olympics and sandwich are both eponyms (spot the linguistics graduate.) Surely not? The games are named after a mountain rather than a person, aren't they? IIRC eponyms can be named after places too; cf "sodomy" and "hamburger".
- Because one or the other is the only thing on the mind of my workmates at lunchtime. --AlexChurchill (who had thought of doing this via email because it means if two people have similar ideas they could both submit them and whoever got better nuances or phrased it better would win. But this way makes the judge's job fractionally easier (no copypasting of entries) and provides the rest of ToothyWiki with more continual "amusement" rather than seeing it all in a big lump... :) )
- Both are improved with the addition of mustard. --Edith
- Because while the Greeks made it (cheese/the olympics) first, other did it better, and the wrappings of both (the bread/the media circus) age less well than the central part. --DR
- Neither are fish -- Senji (OK, that's crap, but...)
- Both of them can be hammed up, but neither is very enjoyable afterwards (ham and cheese sandwiches are icky) - CorkScrew
- Because the legal limits for drugs in either are very easy to break (accidentally, honest). --TI
- What kind of sandwiches do you eat? (More importantly, where can I buy some? :P ) - CorkScrew
- (PeterTaylor sumbmitted by email): Because they're both best enjoyed at the beach.
ChrisHowlett judges. Hmm, tricky. I think the short-list is "both cheesy and involve bread", "both in grease" and "addition of mustard". CorkScrew gets an honourable mention, for a viable pun - but loses out as I rather like ham and cheese sandwiches. Especially toasted. I think, for pure surreality and the mental image created, Edith wins with "Both are improved with the addition of mustard".
Point to Edith. (Everyone points to Edith.)
- Congrats Edith! I'd absolutely love to judge a round of this, but am away for most of the BankHolidayWeekend?; thus, until that's over I'll just play as and when I can get access, and submit myself to judge after that. --AlexChurchill
SeeAlso Other version of this game: http://www.kith.org/logos/words/lower/p.html